Gerri vs. Beef
For Christmas, Boyfriend's mom got us a really snazzy electric wok. While making my first attempt at stir-fry last night, I nearly destroyed 4.5lbs of beef.
1. Research stirfry recipes online, familiarize with the fundamentals.
2. Buy assorted veggies (broccoli, string beans, bell pepper, onion).
3. Cook rice, prep veggies.
4. Take 4.5lbs of frozen flank steaks out of the freezer right before dinner time, with the assumption that one of the steaks will "whack off" to then be defrosted in the microwave.
5. Whack away at frozen meat brick for several minutes to no avail.
6. Try, without success, to cram enormous frozen meat brick into the microwave to partially thaw.
7. Realize that the only way to defrost meat is soaking in hot water. Perhaps I shouldn't have removed the plastic.
8. Fight with partially defrosted and quickly deteriorating meat in a vat of hot water. Core-frozen steaks refuse to be separated.
9. Screech at the Boyfriend that said steaks are beginning to offend you with their very existence and he should just chuck them in the dumpster. Fuck it, just fuck it man, you'll eat veggie stirfry.
10. Call Boyfriend's mother to find out if meat is salvageable. Boyfriend takes over the steaks and manages to separate one for you.
11. Turn around to discover the cat has wet poo smears on his tail and flanks for no apparent reason.
12. Chase cat around with soapy paper towels and attempt to wash his rear.
13. Scrub skin off hands and resume cooking.
14. Heat wok on high, add veggie oil and garlic.
15. Brown meat, charring it out of spite.
16. Remove meat and add soy sauce, water, and veggies in order of cooking time.
17. Chuck meat back into the wok for a final toss, serve, eat.
The food was delicious. At least I can say the wok is worth the trouble, even if it means learning to cook. And my oh my did Wtf Cougar learn some valuable lessons about food prep.
1. Research stirfry recipes online, familiarize with the fundamentals.
2. Buy assorted veggies (broccoli, string beans, bell pepper, onion).
3. Cook rice, prep veggies.
4. Take 4.5lbs of frozen flank steaks out of the freezer right before dinner time, with the assumption that one of the steaks will "whack off" to then be defrosted in the microwave.
5. Whack away at frozen meat brick for several minutes to no avail.
6. Try, without success, to cram enormous frozen meat brick into the microwave to partially thaw.
7. Realize that the only way to defrost meat is soaking in hot water. Perhaps I shouldn't have removed the plastic.
8. Fight with partially defrosted and quickly deteriorating meat in a vat of hot water. Core-frozen steaks refuse to be separated.
9. Screech at the Boyfriend that said steaks are beginning to offend you with their very existence and he should just chuck them in the dumpster. Fuck it, just fuck it man, you'll eat veggie stirfry.
10. Call Boyfriend's mother to find out if meat is salvageable. Boyfriend takes over the steaks and manages to separate one for you.
11. Turn around to discover the cat has wet poo smears on his tail and flanks for no apparent reason.
12. Chase cat around with soapy paper towels and attempt to wash his rear.
13. Scrub skin off hands and resume cooking.
14. Heat wok on high, add veggie oil and garlic.
15. Brown meat, charring it out of spite.
16. Remove meat and add soy sauce, water, and veggies in order of cooking time.
17. Chuck meat back into the wok for a final toss, serve, eat.
The food was delicious. At least I can say the wok is worth the trouble, even if it means learning to cook. And my oh my did Wtf Cougar learn some valuable lessons about food prep.