This got deleted, its the same entry as before
I talked with one of my ex's online, well the only one I really talk to.
He assumes everytime we converse it's to pick a fight, which may have been true in the not so far past. I told him I wanted to see him before I left, because after Disney I'm moving to New York..
and he said he felt sorry for me. That I was the same "wonderful, tremendous." filler words that I was, but I hadn't changed, and that was sad. That he had improved, using my quote against me..
and knowing me better than anyone else, he continued to stab with, this isn't a competition, Crystal, I can't teach you anything. Noone is out to get you, and if people don't like you that's life, not everyone will.
I followed up with, you used to be nice, and that was the person I should have fallen in love with but didn't. We were just absolutely ruthless.
And I tried to appologize for the damage I had done, but i can't. and his scars will remain, and he will still haunt me just like so many dozens of my careless errors that sneak their way into my subconscious, and trigger upon impact.
He knows how to hurt me.
I don't know if that was his plan.
I said I was sorry, and I'm sure he sees how vunerable and weak I really am, and feels that much better now that he's with someone else.
Its not a competition, but I still felt like I lost.
He assumes everytime we converse it's to pick a fight, which may have been true in the not so far past. I told him I wanted to see him before I left, because after Disney I'm moving to New York..
and he said he felt sorry for me. That I was the same "wonderful, tremendous." filler words that I was, but I hadn't changed, and that was sad. That he had improved, using my quote against me..
and knowing me better than anyone else, he continued to stab with, this isn't a competition, Crystal, I can't teach you anything. Noone is out to get you, and if people don't like you that's life, not everyone will.
I followed up with, you used to be nice, and that was the person I should have fallen in love with but didn't. We were just absolutely ruthless.
And I tried to appologize for the damage I had done, but i can't. and his scars will remain, and he will still haunt me just like so many dozens of my careless errors that sneak their way into my subconscious, and trigger upon impact.
He knows how to hurt me.
I don't know if that was his plan.
I said I was sorry, and I'm sure he sees how vunerable and weak I really am, and feels that much better now that he's with someone else.
Its not a competition, but I still felt like I lost.