In which I try and be a better Buddhist.
I wish I was more zen. I read in this book recently, that as a buddhist we should be thankful when we encounter "enemies," and those that test us and make us angry. That we should meditate on a sense of honor at having met them. And I suppose that makes sense, most people we meet, we get along with. On a day to day basis our interactions tend to be civil. How will these interactions help us in learning out to curb our impulses and reactions? Its only through adversity that we are tempered and forged into the people we want to be. Its logical...
except....
I hate one of my coworkers so much its distracting. I try and be civil, but he shit talks me constantly and treats me horrible. I really, honestly, want nothing more than us to get along. He hates me so much I've had other coworkers comment on it, and it just makes me hate him even more! Its a horrible cycle of perpetuating hate. I hate him because he hates me...
And I really don't like feeding off of that emotion, I don't want to be a person bogged down with that. Its ugly and horrible. I wish I could cut this feeling out with a knife and hide it away. Burn it. I know that meditating on love and positive emotions towards this person is the only cure, but the hate that has been feeding off of his ill will is sucking the life out of me. I feel emotionally and psychologically drained at the end of the day and I have barely enough positive energy left for myself.
/I have no solution.
except....
I hate one of my coworkers so much its distracting. I try and be civil, but he shit talks me constantly and treats me horrible. I really, honestly, want nothing more than us to get along. He hates me so much I've had other coworkers comment on it, and it just makes me hate him even more! Its a horrible cycle of perpetuating hate. I hate him because he hates me...
And I really don't like feeding off of that emotion, I don't want to be a person bogged down with that. Its ugly and horrible. I wish I could cut this feeling out with a knife and hide it away. Burn it. I know that meditating on love and positive emotions towards this person is the only cure, but the hate that has been feeding off of his ill will is sucking the life out of me. I feel emotionally and psychologically drained at the end of the day and I have barely enough positive energy left for myself.
/I have no solution.