my bladder pushes against the edge
i really hate myself right now. actually, hate is too strong of a word. i am upset with myself. i am feeling pretty down right now which is quite upsetting considering i was in bright spirits earlier. leaning my head against my wall could have been the best decision ever made. i drove tonight when i should not have. i wonder sometimes why i play with my chances, i throw them up in the air as if i know how to juggle. i don't like when things do not go my way, but no one does. but if we always got things our way, life would get boring, or at least for me it would. we would become so familiar with the feeling of being happy and satisfied and excited that those feelings as words would not even exist. they would escape from our vocabulary and be replaced by words of plainness and simplicity.
all i ask is that you respond to my energy. that your shoe prints be the same as mine. i realize none of this makes sense right now and thats okay. after cloudy days the sun is always brighter. today i got lost and i some how found my way back to where i was trying to go. it was quite exciting. but in a nervous way. i also won a gift card to the movie theater. i might use it to try my whole "movies: alone" documentary that i am working on. haha, oh man, would that be exciting.
rambling is good, it clears the mind and leads one onto bigger and greater thoughts. i am reading on the road right now. and the speed at which my fingers are typing reminds me of the part in the book where the two guys and spewing their thoughts outloud at one another and the idea seems so silly and smart at the same time.
the bring in the background caught my attention and my heart increased for just a fraction of a second only to crash back down to a level slightly lower than the one it rested on before.
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. the end.
no matter what, be happy. even when you really don't want to be. tell yourself you are on the inside and you will start to feel it. just keep repeating it over and over. i am happy. i am happy. i am happy. before you know it, it turns into i am happy! i am happy! i am happy!!!!!
ok i lied. i just tried it and it only worked for a few seconds. ratssssss.
all i ask is that you respond to my energy. that your shoe prints be the same as mine. i realize none of this makes sense right now and thats okay. after cloudy days the sun is always brighter. today i got lost and i some how found my way back to where i was trying to go. it was quite exciting. but in a nervous way. i also won a gift card to the movie theater. i might use it to try my whole "movies: alone" documentary that i am working on. haha, oh man, would that be exciting.
rambling is good, it clears the mind and leads one onto bigger and greater thoughts. i am reading on the road right now. and the speed at which my fingers are typing reminds me of the part in the book where the two guys and spewing their thoughts outloud at one another and the idea seems so silly and smart at the same time.
the bring in the background caught my attention and my heart increased for just a fraction of a second only to crash back down to a level slightly lower than the one it rested on before.
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. the end.
no matter what, be happy. even when you really don't want to be. tell yourself you are on the inside and you will start to feel it. just keep repeating it over and over. i am happy. i am happy. i am happy. before you know it, it turns into i am happy! i am happy! i am happy!!!!!
ok i lied. i just tried it and it only worked for a few seconds. ratssssss.