(no subject)
One of the worst things about living here in okinawa is that this place really stinks! Different parts of the city smell worse than others. For example, when I lived in camp courtney (in central okinawa), upon leaving my base one morning and walking no more than about 500 feet, I smelled no less than 5 distinctly different horrible smells. I tentatively identified them as rotting garbage, dogshit, something burned, something dead, and something that defied classification. My present neighborhood on camp schwab doesn't stink nearly so much; in fact, it even has some good smells. As I walk home from the work in the evenings, one hallway always smells like someone making toast (one of my favorite smells). And not too far from my room there are several places to eat producing their own nioce smells.
One reason it stinks so bad here is the sheer number of inhabitants. You pack so many people into a place this size and things are bound to get ugly. Especially on the bus, where you can always count on someone stinking things up. Body odor, unwashed hair, foot funk. And worst of all, some nasty ass motherfucker always has to FART!!! If it wasn't so disgusting it might actually be funny - everyone looking around, trying to ferret out the guilty party, but trying not to look too enthusiastic about it (remember the old saying, 'he who smelt it, dealt it?')
I will never forget the night I was stuck on the #2 bus going home . Although it was like 3 am, the bus was full, with very little room to breath. As we made our way slowly uptown, I became aware of a foul stench which soon expanded to permeate every molecule of air in the crowded bus. (Due to my superior sense of smell, I am unfortunately the first to notice things like this). It was so bad that it wasn't long before EVERYBODY smelled it. Passengers began looking around indignantly, nostrils flared, and everyone was instantly a suspect. It was so pervasive and overwhelming that it quickly became the main topic of discussion. People who would never under normal circumstances exchange two words suddenly bonded over the horrible stench that now held them hostage. It would have been heartwarming had I not been so fucking pissed off. I was afraid to even breathe. And the worst thing was, it lingered FOREVER. It just refused to go away. People were prying open windows, pulling their shirts up over their faces - it really was THAT bad. When I finally got home, I took an extra-intense shower, trying to scrub any remaining particles off me.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just don't understand how people can think its ok to subject everyone to their noxious emissions. Hold that shit in, for god's sake, until you're in a nice open area with ventilation. In the name of good manners, I think we need to go over a few points regarding the DOs and DON'Ts of farting:
Go ahead and let it rip if:
1. You are in the train station and a train is either entering or departing. This kicks up sufficient wind to successfully camouflage any wind you may have created.
2. You are outside and moving around.
3. You sneak up behind some wanker in a crowded nightclub, let it rip, then run away. I used to have friends who made a regular sport of this and it was hysterical.
4. You are in an area which already stinks to high heaven (the sewer treatment plant, Staten Island, etc.)
5. You are in your own house. The rule is, if you pay to live there, then you can fart freely, being considerate of roommates and guests, of course.
Keep it to yourself if:
1. You are in an elevator. This is the ultimate farting DON'T and if you are unlucky enough to do this in an elevator I am occupying, I will promptly stick a cork up your ass so it never happens again, you dirty pig!
2. You are just about anywhere else indoors (except the bathroom or your own house, as stated above). When I used to work at a grocery store, for some reason people felt like it was ok to just go around randomly farting. I can't recount the number of times I had to go running into the parking lot after someone dropped a bomb. Honestly, would you do that in a church? I hope not.
3. You think its funny to do the 'dutch oven' when you're in bed with someone. If you're lucky enough to get laid, you might not want to ruin your chances of it happening again by acting like Beavis and Butthead.
4. You are in a vehicle occupied by anyone other than yourself.
5. You are anywhere near me. I can't stand it when people fart around me, it's one of my biggest pet peeves. I'd rather die or explode. I lived with someone for 7 months and I never farted around him until one day when I got completely fed up with him constantly doing it around me. I waited until he ripped one, then it was my turn. . Then we both laughed until we couldn't breathe.
So please, consider the olfactory welfare of your fellow human beings, especially in a place that already stinks as much as okinawa. Following these simple guidelines will make life a little more bearable for all of us here. Thank you and goodnight.
One reason it stinks so bad here is the sheer number of inhabitants. You pack so many people into a place this size and things are bound to get ugly. Especially on the bus, where you can always count on someone stinking things up. Body odor, unwashed hair, foot funk. And worst of all, some nasty ass motherfucker always has to FART!!! If it wasn't so disgusting it might actually be funny - everyone looking around, trying to ferret out the guilty party, but trying not to look too enthusiastic about it (remember the old saying, 'he who smelt it, dealt it?')
I will never forget the night I was stuck on the #2 bus going home . Although it was like 3 am, the bus was full, with very little room to breath. As we made our way slowly uptown, I became aware of a foul stench which soon expanded to permeate every molecule of air in the crowded bus. (Due to my superior sense of smell, I am unfortunately the first to notice things like this). It was so bad that it wasn't long before EVERYBODY smelled it. Passengers began looking around indignantly, nostrils flared, and everyone was instantly a suspect. It was so pervasive and overwhelming that it quickly became the main topic of discussion. People who would never under normal circumstances exchange two words suddenly bonded over the horrible stench that now held them hostage. It would have been heartwarming had I not been so fucking pissed off. I was afraid to even breathe. And the worst thing was, it lingered FOREVER. It just refused to go away. People were prying open windows, pulling their shirts up over their faces - it really was THAT bad. When I finally got home, I took an extra-intense shower, trying to scrub any remaining particles off me.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just don't understand how people can think its ok to subject everyone to their noxious emissions. Hold that shit in, for god's sake, until you're in a nice open area with ventilation. In the name of good manners, I think we need to go over a few points regarding the DOs and DON'Ts of farting:
Go ahead and let it rip if:
1. You are in the train station and a train is either entering or departing. This kicks up sufficient wind to successfully camouflage any wind you may have created.
2. You are outside and moving around.
3. You sneak up behind some wanker in a crowded nightclub, let it rip, then run away. I used to have friends who made a regular sport of this and it was hysterical.
4. You are in an area which already stinks to high heaven (the sewer treatment plant, Staten Island, etc.)
5. You are in your own house. The rule is, if you pay to live there, then you can fart freely, being considerate of roommates and guests, of course.
Keep it to yourself if:
1. You are in an elevator. This is the ultimate farting DON'T and if you are unlucky enough to do this in an elevator I am occupying, I will promptly stick a cork up your ass so it never happens again, you dirty pig!
2. You are just about anywhere else indoors (except the bathroom or your own house, as stated above). When I used to work at a grocery store, for some reason people felt like it was ok to just go around randomly farting. I can't recount the number of times I had to go running into the parking lot after someone dropped a bomb. Honestly, would you do that in a church? I hope not.
3. You think its funny to do the 'dutch oven' when you're in bed with someone. If you're lucky enough to get laid, you might not want to ruin your chances of it happening again by acting like Beavis and Butthead.
4. You are in a vehicle occupied by anyone other than yourself.
5. You are anywhere near me. I can't stand it when people fart around me, it's one of my biggest pet peeves. I'd rather die or explode. I lived with someone for 7 months and I never farted around him until one day when I got completely fed up with him constantly doing it around me. I waited until he ripped one, then it was my turn. . Then we both laughed until we couldn't breathe.
So please, consider the olfactory welfare of your fellow human beings, especially in a place that already stinks as much as okinawa. Following these simple guidelines will make life a little more bearable for all of us here. Thank you and goodnight.