(no subject)
i've felt sick to my stomach since summer started
it makes sense since i've been holding so much back for so long and there's no end to that in sight.
but its okay i think i think too much,
and its taking a toll on me and i can't sleep at night
and i'm aware that i'm alone for the first time.
i never used to hate sleeping alone
but i definitely do now.
and why do things always have to get complicated and why do the stupid little details mean so much
and why can't i forget those things that were said months ago when i was much more wise
and why can't i fucking stop asking why
and wondering
about people and the way we relate.
to say that its complex would be an understatement at best.
i'm wanting things i can't have and could have had
but timing is everything and very rarely right.
when we use the speed limit as an excuse to take up more of our time
i hate realizing that love doesn't mean anything anymore.
it makes sense since i've been holding so much back for so long and there's no end to that in sight.
but its okay i think i think too much,
and its taking a toll on me and i can't sleep at night
and i'm aware that i'm alone for the first time.
i never used to hate sleeping alone
but i definitely do now.
and why do things always have to get complicated and why do the stupid little details mean so much
and why can't i forget those things that were said months ago when i was much more wise
and why can't i fucking stop asking why
and wondering
about people and the way we relate.
to say that its complex would be an understatement at best.
i'm wanting things i can't have and could have had
but timing is everything and very rarely right.
when we use the speed limit as an excuse to take up more of our time
i hate realizing that love doesn't mean anything anymore.