something new from me
i have decided instead of posting the way i usually do i am going to start posting things that actually matter to me. things are starting to look up for me in my life. my little sister is trying to get me with her friend john from work whom she says is a really great guy. but anyone that knows me knows that it is impossible for a nice guy to like me. in the past 13 years i have been through nothing but hell and then i find out even worse shit then i could have imagined. when i went to the doctor a while ago they did a checkup to see how things are working after all the chemo and shit. well they ran some tests and all the normal things to see how i am going to come out of this. well one of the tests they ran confirmed my worst fears. i am no longer able to have children because when they caught the leukemia i was already in stage 2 and they couldn't save my ovaries. i have talked to my best friends about wanting a big family but now that wont be happening. they said if they would have caught it in stage one they could have saved everything but they caught it late. lately i have been feeling as if my life is over and that i have nothing left to offer any man. but my best friend melissa and lamar have been very helpful with everything lately and i really appreciate the fact that they have stuck around.