Lament - Sakumiya fic
Title: Lament
Pairing: Sakumiya
Rating: R - NC-17
Summary: Sho’s guilt has him drinking away is pain, practically begging Nino to intervene. Will he do it even though they had a less than amicable break up?
Disclaimer: I do not know nor am I any of the mentioned characters. This is just a work of fiction.
A/N: Entered in the Shoneenclub October contest.
They had gone out for drinks after work, chatting away on mindless matters. Sho had been taking in a lot more alcohol than the others, though it was almost expected. They all knew the man loved to drink a little bit more than the rest, despite his reserved and mildly uptight image.
“Slow down why don’t you,” Jun chuckled as the rapper ordered another pitcher. Sho’s eyes drunkenly drifted up to look at him, basically ignoring Jun. His eyes met Nino’s, who simply took a sip of his beer. His cheeks were a bit flushed, indicating he was slightly buzzed, but his eyes remained calm.
It wasn’t like he was drinking for attention, but he was purposely chugging down a lot more than usual. He just wanted to see if it’ll finally get the man to talk to him without the cameras being on them. “I’m fine,” Sho slurred slightly. His eyes rolled away from Nino’s and went to Jun. “I’m not drunk,” he smiled.
“You sure?” Jun questioned. “I don’t want you running off to the bathroom and throwing your guts up,” he smirked.
“I’m sure,” he laughed. As the night went on, Sho was getting more and more drunk. Knocking things over, spilling some beer and other alcoholic drinks on himself, only to laugh it off.
“Okay, we’re officially cutting you off,” Aiba said while Sho tried to reach for a draft of beer from another table.
“What? Why? No,” he whined. They paid for their drinks and tried to help Sho stand up properly. All while they were pampering the man, Nino didn’t say a word. “Wait…I need to pee,” he slurred. Seeming how Aiba was holding onto Sho, he by default had to take him to the restroom.
“He’s way too drunk to drive back home,” Jun muttered, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.
“Let him crash with you,” Nino sighed.
“Nah, last time I let someone stay over while they were drunk, they ruined my living room carpet,” he said with accusing eyes at the gamer.
“I said I was sorry,” Nino sucked his teeth. “Oh-chan?”
“Mm, I don’t think it’s best if he stayed with me. Too many things he can injure himself with in there,” Ohno mumbled, shaking his head that the image of Sho knocking over his paintings and fishing supplies.
“Then Aiba, cause I’m definitely not letting him stay with me,” Nino said angrily.
“It was years ago Nino,” Jun said.
“I don’t care. I don’t want to be alone with him.”
Aiba came back, looking slightly annoyed at the clingy Sho. “You guys, I think I did something mildly gay,” he pouted. The three laughed at him before breaking the news that he was going to have to be Sho’s nurse for the night.
*****
However, it wasn’t ‘just for the night’ as they had hoped, as it started happening for too many nights. Sho would drink close to excessively, both as a means to get Nino to finally say something and to drink away his pain.
“Sho-chan…I think you have a problem,” Aiba pouted.
“I don’t,” he said angrily. He got up to get another order, but his wrist was grabbed tightly.
“Sit down,” Nino’s voice seethed. Sho ripped his hand away, the action throwing him off balance.
“Don’t lecture me,” he slurred.
“Then stop being a fucking ass,” Nino’s voice raised. He was visibly annoyed at the man’s antics. Every time they went out for drinks they had to nurse the man back to normal the whole night, making them lose sleep and waking up grumpier than usual. Also, they constantly had to lend him clothes to wear for the next day which was getting annoying.
The tension in the air was getting thicker and thicker the more they glared at each other. Slowly the others slipped away, craftily leaving Nino as Sho’s caretaker this time around. Of course when Nino noticed that they were the only two left, at least the three were nice enough to pitch in for the pay, he let out a few choice words in his head before getting up.
“Am I going to your place?” Sho asked, trying to keep himself steady as Nino marched ahead of him.
“No, you’re getting in a cab to your own,” he answered coldly. He mentally continued to curse every last one of them out for leaving him with Sho. Especially when they knew what happened between them years ago.
“Please. I don’t want to be home alone tonight,” Sho pouted.
“Does it look like I give a fuck, Sho?” Nino scowled as he held his cell phone to his ear, waiting for the ringing on the other line to stop. The hate in the man’s words hit Sho’s heart deeply. Granted he knew how much he hurt him and that he messed up, but he almost thought that Nino would have forgiven him in due time.
A few minutes later, the standard green taxi pulled up to the bar. Nino gave driver the directions to Sho’s place, practically shoving the man inside and slamming the door. He wanted nothing more than to be rid of him. However that wasn’t the last of Sho he saw that night.
Hours later, 2 AM to be exact, his bell rang incessantly. He tried to cover his ears to block the loud ringing before growling angrily in his pillow and marching to the door. “WHAT?!” he yelled angrily.
Standing before him was Sho who visibly looked pained. “Kazu…” he whimpered softly.
“Go home Sho,” Nino sighed, trying to restrain himself from completely beating this man senseless for waking him up at this time. As he was getting ready to close the door, close being the more optional word as he more wanted to slam it shut in his face, Sho quickly blocked it. “Move.”
“Please,” the older man persisted. He didn’t look as drunk as he did earlier, must’ve sobered up after a nap.
“Sho, just go. I don’t want you around anymore.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I really am, but please just let me in. I need to talk to you,” he pleaded. Nino sighed heavily and stepped aside, allowing the taller man to enter his apartment. He really didn’t care for what Sho was going to say, he just didn’t want to cause a disturbance for his neighbors.
“What is it Sho? If I recall the last time you were here, I vividly remember saying that you were no longer welcomed,” Nino asked as he crossed his arms across his chest. Sho closed his eyes remembering that night.
He screwed up so badly.
------------------
They were happily dating for five years, but it all ended three years ago. They were in heaven, so to speak, nothing else seemed to matter and all that fairytale greatness. You can say they were one without being obnoxiously so. Sho had confessed, albeit nervously, while they were alone in their dressing room. He bit his lip in hesitation before saying, even though it was more like blurting out, that he loved him. As he was sitting in his seat, completely frozen in fear that the man was going to ridicule him, Nino simply responded with a kiss on his cheek. Nino was so important to him that he wanted to do anything and everything for him; the smaller man soon became his sole reason for living, as crazy as it sounded.
Sho remembers their soft and intimate nights, whispering gentle words in each other’s ear, declaring their love repeatedly. He vividly remembers their first time together. They had gone a on small and modest date, but something must’ve been up with Nino cause he was all over him that night. The younger man was either leaning against him, touching him, or holding him all throughout their time together that by the time they got home, it almost came to no surprise that Nino would pounce on him.
They were on the bed, writhing against each other, the covers barely concealing them as Sho moved in and out of him. Sho remembers how their hands were clasping together, the warmth that he felt in those small hands is something no one could ever replace. He remembers how their bodies felt against each other, how Nino’s hip bone bumped slightly roughly against his. Being with him was like breathing. In his eyes Nino was his world.
But then things slowly changed. He slowly changed. Soon it became hard to talk to him. It became difficult to hold a normal conversation that didn’t end in raised voices. It soon became hard for them to be intimate without feeling the pain the other was suffering. Eventually, after five years, they split because Sho couldn’t keep his emotions intact.
----------------
Sho looked at Nino, tears shining in his eyes. Slowly he got down on his knees and bowed down. “I’m so sorry,” he gasped as his throat closed up on him. For three years he’s waited to do this. He needed to see him to apologize for ruining the best thing to happen for the two of them. “I’ve screwed up. I-I fucked up everything,” he continued.
Nino stood above him, his chest heaving. So many emotions were coursing through him as he watched the older man apologize to him.
“Do you know what it was like for me to be with you?” Nino’s voice trembled, barely sounding like himself. “And then the shit you put me through?!” he yelled at him, his own tears getting the best of him. “Sho I loved you, why didn’t you see that?”
“Cause you were getting too close to him and I let my jealousy get to me,” Sho whimpered, lifting his head up to look into Nino’s angry eyes.
It was true that during his filming of Ryusei no Kizuna, Nino had gotten quite close to Nishikido. Close enough to a point where Sho no longer felt comfortable with them two being alone together. He could’ve chalked it up to Nino’s ability to befriend his co-stars and that they were in the same agency, but with the way Ryo looked at him, the way he saw how physically close the younger man would get to him-he knew it wasn’t simple friendliness. “You know how much I loved you and how much I devoted myself to you,” he sniffled.
“Yeah, you sure did. That’s why you got piss drunk and fucked him behind my back,” Nino spat back angrily.
The night everything crashed down on them, Nino received a call from a crying Sho, barely coherent as he tried to confess what he had done. All the gamer was able to make out was the repetitive ‘I’m sorry’ the older man let out. When Sho eventually made it to his place, he collapsed in the genkan crying and begging him for forgiveness as he told him he just slept with Okada.
Nino was so shocked when he heard the confession that he was frozen stiff for about two minutes while Sho cried into his lap. After that, all he really remembers was yelling at the man, telling him never to come back again. Upon thinking about it, Nino vaguely remembers throwing things and slapping at Sho’s chest while tears streamed down his face. From then on, the gamer didn’t associate himself with him unless he absolutely had to. Granted he was able to mask it, being the great actor that he is, that didn’t excuse him from locking himself in a room where he could cry his eyes out.
“Kazu-”
“Don’t call me that! Only those I love can call me that!” Nino tearfully yelled. He wiped his eyes and turned away.
“Please,” Sho whimpered. “I miss you. I need you. Even after all this time I still love you,” the older man begged.
“Bullshit. If you loved me you’d have believed me when I said nothing was going on between us. You wouldn’t have to go out and be an asshole, hurting me more than you already did by simply accusing me.”
Sho got up and wrapped his arms around Nino’s waist from behind. The smaller man tried to fight his way out of the man’s grip, but it only tightened. “I do love you. Every day I regret what I had done. I’m drinking myself into a fucking drunken stupor because of how much I regret everything. I regret letting you slip through my hands,” Sho whispered in his ear.
“I hate you so much,” Nino sniffled.
“You have every right to.”
“Of course I do, you idiot.”
They were silent before Nino’s hands rested on Sho’s, the warmth the older man never forgot was rubbing him gently. Sho rested his head on the thin shoulders, closing his eyes at the calming inhale and exhale of the younger man.
Nino hated the fact that this felt so familiar. That being in Sho’s arms was exactly where he belonged.
“I promise I will do anything for you. Anything to win you back,” the rapper murmured after a few minutes of silence.
“Like not fucking other men while we’re dating?”
“Yes.”
“And not getting drunk all the damn time?” Nino asked, a small hint of a smile was in his voice. Sho nodded against the shoulder. Nino turned around in Sho’s arms and wiped his eyes. “Promise me.”
“I promise I won’t ever hurt you,” Sho’s voice trembled.
“Vow it.”
“I swear I won’t cause you any pain.”
“Prove it.”
Sho leaned in and caught his lips in a kiss. His hands moved up to hold either side of Nino’s face, deepening their kiss as his tongue peeked out and licked his lower lip.
This was what they both missed. They missed the delicate eagerness that was their love.
They missed and needed this.
Nino wrapped his arms around Sho’s neck, pressing his body against the solid one before him. Slowly they pulled apart, taking in some air.
“I love you, Kazu,” Sho breathed.
“I love you too.”
For the first time in three years when Sho touched him, he didn’t mind. He no longer wanted to recoil, he no longer wanted to yell at him, he only wanted more as he was mentally, emotionally, and physically ready for him.
They had moved to the bedroom where Nino gasped when Sho’s lips pressed against his neck, leaving small kisses down its length and sucking on it, marking him. The rapper’s mouth soon reached past the prominent collarbones and enclosed around his nipple, teething the small bud, pulling a gasping whimper from the man.
Nino yearned for this. This feeling of overwhelming weightlessness as he was touched by him.
“Sho,” he sighed, opening his legs wider; his semi bumping against Sho’s pelvis.
“I want to remember it all,” Sho murmured against his trembling stomach.
“Ah,” Nino whimpered when the older man started to tongue his bellybutton before biting the skin below it, eventually moving back up to kiss him again.
Sho was fumbling with his clothes, trying to remove them while his lips remained connected with Nino’s. When he managed to get his shirt and pants off, he pulled back and slipped out the briefs he had on. The gamer’s eyes filled with lust as he took in the toned body.
Fuck he missed that body. He missed how it felt against him when he held him close, much like what Sho was doing at the moment. The rapper was kissing and sucking on Nino’s neck again while, almost desperately, grinding his cock against Nino’s clothed one.
“Sho-kun, just fuck me already. Please,” he groaned. Following the orders, Sho went to the dresser remembering the younger idol always kept the condoms and lube in the third drawer. He came back on the bed, with the condom already in place, and uncapped the lube. He poured a considerate amount on his fingers and on the gamer’s hole. He was pretty sure the man hadn’t slept with anyone else for quite some time after their break up.
He slipped a finger into the tight hole, eliciting a soft mewl from Nino. Gently, he added a second finger, hooking them immediately, and causing Nino’s body to spasm a little. He scissored the warm opening, stretching it out before adding the third finger.
“Ah, I’m ready…” Nino panted. After a few more thrusts, Sho pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock. The gamer’s back arched as he was filled. He forgot how wonderful he felt inside him. Sho pushed in all the way to the hilt, staring into Nino’s eyes.
“Kazu,” Sho moaned, snapping his hips quickly three times before pulling out gently. He repeated the process, making Nino cry out and moan every time. After a few more minutes of this, Sho’s rhythm was set.
His hands that were holding the thin hips up, moved to clasp Nino’s smaller ones. Their fingers entwined and Nino’s eyes closed in pleasure. He wanted to be whole again, that was all he thought as he and Sho moved together. Sho started going faster, lifting their hands up to either side of Nino’s head.
“Sho, deeper.”
The older man pushed in completely, looking at Nino’s face contorting in pleasure as he buried himself deep inside him. He thrust harder, his fingers tightening around the gamer’s.
“Kazu, I want you to come first,” he whispered in his ear. Nino slowly removed his right hand out of Sho’s and slipped it in between their bodies, gripping his pained erection. He whimpered at the attention, his hand desperately moving up and down on the hard and hot flesh.
Sho grunted at how the man was tightening around him the more he touched himself. His pace increased pulling more loving and constant whines from the younger singer.
“I’m close, I’m so close…Sho,” Nino gasped. Their speed intensified before the younger man’s prostate was soon discovered. The gamer cried out, letting the white globs shoot on his and Sho’s stomach. Nino’s eyes were dazed as he tried to calm down from his high.
Slowly their hands rejoined, neither caring about the small amount of cum that was still on Nino’s hand. “Kazu,” Sho grunted as his own orgasm started approaching. “I’m almost there,” he moaned.
“Come for me,” Nino moaned, looking into Sho’s eyes. The older man grunted and released in the condom. His body shuddered as his orgasm took hold of him. He gingerly pulled out and removed the soiled rubber before relaxing next to Nino.
“I missed you,” he panted. “I missed this.”
“Me too,” Nino smiled and leaned in to kiss Sho. Their tongues moved lazily around each other. Sho got up and cleaned their mid-sections before lying in bed and falling asleep.
For the first time in three years they had someone to cuddle up next to as they slept.
*****
Since that day forward it was as if they hadn’t broken up. Sho would kiss him privately in their dressing rooms. He’d whisper that he loves him and would sometimes go out his way to do things for him. Like when Nino got sick and only wanted some soup from a certain store that was thirty minutes away. Sho wasted no time grabbing a taxi there, even if that did make him a bit late when he returned. Of course Nino scolded him, aside from Matsumoto’s sharp words, but the small smile that graced his lips as he ate was all worth it to Sho.
Nino was curled up into his side in their dressing room, as he played with his DS. Sho was reading his newspaper, resting his head on the other man’s. Neither said a thing.
The scene was all too common to the other members. They weren’t directly told that they had gotten back together. Though it was their little moments, such as this, that let them all know the rift between them was now over.
“Want to go out drinking tonight?” Aiba asked all of them.
“If Sho doesn’t go overboard, then sure,” Jun said.
“Don’t worry I got my eyes on him,” Nino smirked, closing his game, and rubbed Sho’s thigh briefly. Sho smiled took the hand in his.
"I’ll stop when you tell me to," he murmured, but was loud enough for the other three to hear. Nino turned to him and gave him a small kiss only to be chastised by Jun about how he doesn’t want to see that. Out of spite the gamer pressed ever harder against Sho, pushing him down against the couch as he practically sucked his lips right off.
Ohno and Aiba laughed at the discomfort it caused Matsumoto.
He wants to live in this moment, he wanted this forever.
Nino pulled up from Sho and smiled down at him. The older man lifted his hand and stroked his cheek, his eyes turning into happy crescents as he laughed.
Even with what they had been through, he still loved him.
END
Pairing: Sakumiya
Rating: R - NC-17
Summary: Sho’s guilt has him drinking away is pain, practically begging Nino to intervene. Will he do it even though they had a less than amicable break up?
Disclaimer: I do not know nor am I any of the mentioned characters. This is just a work of fiction.
A/N: Entered in the Shoneenclub October contest.
They had gone out for drinks after work, chatting away on mindless matters. Sho had been taking in a lot more alcohol than the others, though it was almost expected. They all knew the man loved to drink a little bit more than the rest, despite his reserved and mildly uptight image.
“Slow down why don’t you,” Jun chuckled as the rapper ordered another pitcher. Sho’s eyes drunkenly drifted up to look at him, basically ignoring Jun. His eyes met Nino’s, who simply took a sip of his beer. His cheeks were a bit flushed, indicating he was slightly buzzed, but his eyes remained calm.
It wasn’t like he was drinking for attention, but he was purposely chugging down a lot more than usual. He just wanted to see if it’ll finally get the man to talk to him without the cameras being on them. “I’m fine,” Sho slurred slightly. His eyes rolled away from Nino’s and went to Jun. “I’m not drunk,” he smiled.
“You sure?” Jun questioned. “I don’t want you running off to the bathroom and throwing your guts up,” he smirked.
“I’m sure,” he laughed. As the night went on, Sho was getting more and more drunk. Knocking things over, spilling some beer and other alcoholic drinks on himself, only to laugh it off.
“Okay, we’re officially cutting you off,” Aiba said while Sho tried to reach for a draft of beer from another table.
“What? Why? No,” he whined. They paid for their drinks and tried to help Sho stand up properly. All while they were pampering the man, Nino didn’t say a word. “Wait…I need to pee,” he slurred. Seeming how Aiba was holding onto Sho, he by default had to take him to the restroom.
“He’s way too drunk to drive back home,” Jun muttered, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.
“Let him crash with you,” Nino sighed.
“Nah, last time I let someone stay over while they were drunk, they ruined my living room carpet,” he said with accusing eyes at the gamer.
“I said I was sorry,” Nino sucked his teeth. “Oh-chan?”
“Mm, I don’t think it’s best if he stayed with me. Too many things he can injure himself with in there,” Ohno mumbled, shaking his head that the image of Sho knocking over his paintings and fishing supplies.
“Then Aiba, cause I’m definitely not letting him stay with me,” Nino said angrily.
“It was years ago Nino,” Jun said.
“I don’t care. I don’t want to be alone with him.”
Aiba came back, looking slightly annoyed at the clingy Sho. “You guys, I think I did something mildly gay,” he pouted. The three laughed at him before breaking the news that he was going to have to be Sho’s nurse for the night.
*****
However, it wasn’t ‘just for the night’ as they had hoped, as it started happening for too many nights. Sho would drink close to excessively, both as a means to get Nino to finally say something and to drink away his pain.
“Sho-chan…I think you have a problem,” Aiba pouted.
“I don’t,” he said angrily. He got up to get another order, but his wrist was grabbed tightly.
“Sit down,” Nino’s voice seethed. Sho ripped his hand away, the action throwing him off balance.
“Don’t lecture me,” he slurred.
“Then stop being a fucking ass,” Nino’s voice raised. He was visibly annoyed at the man’s antics. Every time they went out for drinks they had to nurse the man back to normal the whole night, making them lose sleep and waking up grumpier than usual. Also, they constantly had to lend him clothes to wear for the next day which was getting annoying.
The tension in the air was getting thicker and thicker the more they glared at each other. Slowly the others slipped away, craftily leaving Nino as Sho’s caretaker this time around. Of course when Nino noticed that they were the only two left, at least the three were nice enough to pitch in for the pay, he let out a few choice words in his head before getting up.
“Am I going to your place?” Sho asked, trying to keep himself steady as Nino marched ahead of him.
“No, you’re getting in a cab to your own,” he answered coldly. He mentally continued to curse every last one of them out for leaving him with Sho. Especially when they knew what happened between them years ago.
“Please. I don’t want to be home alone tonight,” Sho pouted.
“Does it look like I give a fuck, Sho?” Nino scowled as he held his cell phone to his ear, waiting for the ringing on the other line to stop. The hate in the man’s words hit Sho’s heart deeply. Granted he knew how much he hurt him and that he messed up, but he almost thought that Nino would have forgiven him in due time.
A few minutes later, the standard green taxi pulled up to the bar. Nino gave driver the directions to Sho’s place, practically shoving the man inside and slamming the door. He wanted nothing more than to be rid of him. However that wasn’t the last of Sho he saw that night.
Hours later, 2 AM to be exact, his bell rang incessantly. He tried to cover his ears to block the loud ringing before growling angrily in his pillow and marching to the door. “WHAT?!” he yelled angrily.
Standing before him was Sho who visibly looked pained. “Kazu…” he whimpered softly.
“Go home Sho,” Nino sighed, trying to restrain himself from completely beating this man senseless for waking him up at this time. As he was getting ready to close the door, close being the more optional word as he more wanted to slam it shut in his face, Sho quickly blocked it. “Move.”
“Please,” the older man persisted. He didn’t look as drunk as he did earlier, must’ve sobered up after a nap.
“Sho, just go. I don’t want you around anymore.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I really am, but please just let me in. I need to talk to you,” he pleaded. Nino sighed heavily and stepped aside, allowing the taller man to enter his apartment. He really didn’t care for what Sho was going to say, he just didn’t want to cause a disturbance for his neighbors.
“What is it Sho? If I recall the last time you were here, I vividly remember saying that you were no longer welcomed,” Nino asked as he crossed his arms across his chest. Sho closed his eyes remembering that night.
He screwed up so badly.
------------------
They were happily dating for five years, but it all ended three years ago. They were in heaven, so to speak, nothing else seemed to matter and all that fairytale greatness. You can say they were one without being obnoxiously so. Sho had confessed, albeit nervously, while they were alone in their dressing room. He bit his lip in hesitation before saying, even though it was more like blurting out, that he loved him. As he was sitting in his seat, completely frozen in fear that the man was going to ridicule him, Nino simply responded with a kiss on his cheek. Nino was so important to him that he wanted to do anything and everything for him; the smaller man soon became his sole reason for living, as crazy as it sounded.
Sho remembers their soft and intimate nights, whispering gentle words in each other’s ear, declaring their love repeatedly. He vividly remembers their first time together. They had gone a on small and modest date, but something must’ve been up with Nino cause he was all over him that night. The younger man was either leaning against him, touching him, or holding him all throughout their time together that by the time they got home, it almost came to no surprise that Nino would pounce on him.
They were on the bed, writhing against each other, the covers barely concealing them as Sho moved in and out of him. Sho remembers how their hands were clasping together, the warmth that he felt in those small hands is something no one could ever replace. He remembers how their bodies felt against each other, how Nino’s hip bone bumped slightly roughly against his. Being with him was like breathing. In his eyes Nino was his world.
But then things slowly changed. He slowly changed. Soon it became hard to talk to him. It became difficult to hold a normal conversation that didn’t end in raised voices. It soon became hard for them to be intimate without feeling the pain the other was suffering. Eventually, after five years, they split because Sho couldn’t keep his emotions intact.
----------------
Sho looked at Nino, tears shining in his eyes. Slowly he got down on his knees and bowed down. “I’m so sorry,” he gasped as his throat closed up on him. For three years he’s waited to do this. He needed to see him to apologize for ruining the best thing to happen for the two of them. “I’ve screwed up. I-I fucked up everything,” he continued.
Nino stood above him, his chest heaving. So many emotions were coursing through him as he watched the older man apologize to him.
“Do you know what it was like for me to be with you?” Nino’s voice trembled, barely sounding like himself. “And then the shit you put me through?!” he yelled at him, his own tears getting the best of him. “Sho I loved you, why didn’t you see that?”
“Cause you were getting too close to him and I let my jealousy get to me,” Sho whimpered, lifting his head up to look into Nino’s angry eyes.
It was true that during his filming of Ryusei no Kizuna, Nino had gotten quite close to Nishikido. Close enough to a point where Sho no longer felt comfortable with them two being alone together. He could’ve chalked it up to Nino’s ability to befriend his co-stars and that they were in the same agency, but with the way Ryo looked at him, the way he saw how physically close the younger man would get to him-he knew it wasn’t simple friendliness. “You know how much I loved you and how much I devoted myself to you,” he sniffled.
“Yeah, you sure did. That’s why you got piss drunk and fucked him behind my back,” Nino spat back angrily.
The night everything crashed down on them, Nino received a call from a crying Sho, barely coherent as he tried to confess what he had done. All the gamer was able to make out was the repetitive ‘I’m sorry’ the older man let out. When Sho eventually made it to his place, he collapsed in the genkan crying and begging him for forgiveness as he told him he just slept with Okada.
Nino was so shocked when he heard the confession that he was frozen stiff for about two minutes while Sho cried into his lap. After that, all he really remembers was yelling at the man, telling him never to come back again. Upon thinking about it, Nino vaguely remembers throwing things and slapping at Sho’s chest while tears streamed down his face. From then on, the gamer didn’t associate himself with him unless he absolutely had to. Granted he was able to mask it, being the great actor that he is, that didn’t excuse him from locking himself in a room where he could cry his eyes out.
“Kazu-”
“Don’t call me that! Only those I love can call me that!” Nino tearfully yelled. He wiped his eyes and turned away.
“Please,” Sho whimpered. “I miss you. I need you. Even after all this time I still love you,” the older man begged.
“Bullshit. If you loved me you’d have believed me when I said nothing was going on between us. You wouldn’t have to go out and be an asshole, hurting me more than you already did by simply accusing me.”
Sho got up and wrapped his arms around Nino’s waist from behind. The smaller man tried to fight his way out of the man’s grip, but it only tightened. “I do love you. Every day I regret what I had done. I’m drinking myself into a fucking drunken stupor because of how much I regret everything. I regret letting you slip through my hands,” Sho whispered in his ear.
“I hate you so much,” Nino sniffled.
“You have every right to.”
“Of course I do, you idiot.”
They were silent before Nino’s hands rested on Sho’s, the warmth the older man never forgot was rubbing him gently. Sho rested his head on the thin shoulders, closing his eyes at the calming inhale and exhale of the younger man.
Nino hated the fact that this felt so familiar. That being in Sho’s arms was exactly where he belonged.
“I promise I will do anything for you. Anything to win you back,” the rapper murmured after a few minutes of silence.
“Like not fucking other men while we’re dating?”
“Yes.”
“And not getting drunk all the damn time?” Nino asked, a small hint of a smile was in his voice. Sho nodded against the shoulder. Nino turned around in Sho’s arms and wiped his eyes. “Promise me.”
“I promise I won’t ever hurt you,” Sho’s voice trembled.
“Vow it.”
“I swear I won’t cause you any pain.”
“Prove it.”
Sho leaned in and caught his lips in a kiss. His hands moved up to hold either side of Nino’s face, deepening their kiss as his tongue peeked out and licked his lower lip.
This was what they both missed. They missed the delicate eagerness that was their love.
They missed and needed this.
Nino wrapped his arms around Sho’s neck, pressing his body against the solid one before him. Slowly they pulled apart, taking in some air.
“I love you, Kazu,” Sho breathed.
“I love you too.”
For the first time in three years when Sho touched him, he didn’t mind. He no longer wanted to recoil, he no longer wanted to yell at him, he only wanted more as he was mentally, emotionally, and physically ready for him.
They had moved to the bedroom where Nino gasped when Sho’s lips pressed against his neck, leaving small kisses down its length and sucking on it, marking him. The rapper’s mouth soon reached past the prominent collarbones and enclosed around his nipple, teething the small bud, pulling a gasping whimper from the man.
Nino yearned for this. This feeling of overwhelming weightlessness as he was touched by him.
“Sho,” he sighed, opening his legs wider; his semi bumping against Sho’s pelvis.
“I want to remember it all,” Sho murmured against his trembling stomach.
“Ah,” Nino whimpered when the older man started to tongue his bellybutton before biting the skin below it, eventually moving back up to kiss him again.
Sho was fumbling with his clothes, trying to remove them while his lips remained connected with Nino’s. When he managed to get his shirt and pants off, he pulled back and slipped out the briefs he had on. The gamer’s eyes filled with lust as he took in the toned body.
Fuck he missed that body. He missed how it felt against him when he held him close, much like what Sho was doing at the moment. The rapper was kissing and sucking on Nino’s neck again while, almost desperately, grinding his cock against Nino’s clothed one.
“Sho-kun, just fuck me already. Please,” he groaned. Following the orders, Sho went to the dresser remembering the younger idol always kept the condoms and lube in the third drawer. He came back on the bed, with the condom already in place, and uncapped the lube. He poured a considerate amount on his fingers and on the gamer’s hole. He was pretty sure the man hadn’t slept with anyone else for quite some time after their break up.
He slipped a finger into the tight hole, eliciting a soft mewl from Nino. Gently, he added a second finger, hooking them immediately, and causing Nino’s body to spasm a little. He scissored the warm opening, stretching it out before adding the third finger.
“Ah, I’m ready…” Nino panted. After a few more thrusts, Sho pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock. The gamer’s back arched as he was filled. He forgot how wonderful he felt inside him. Sho pushed in all the way to the hilt, staring into Nino’s eyes.
“Kazu,” Sho moaned, snapping his hips quickly three times before pulling out gently. He repeated the process, making Nino cry out and moan every time. After a few more minutes of this, Sho’s rhythm was set.
His hands that were holding the thin hips up, moved to clasp Nino’s smaller ones. Their fingers entwined and Nino’s eyes closed in pleasure. He wanted to be whole again, that was all he thought as he and Sho moved together. Sho started going faster, lifting their hands up to either side of Nino’s head.
“Sho, deeper.”
The older man pushed in completely, looking at Nino’s face contorting in pleasure as he buried himself deep inside him. He thrust harder, his fingers tightening around the gamer’s.
“Kazu, I want you to come first,” he whispered in his ear. Nino slowly removed his right hand out of Sho’s and slipped it in between their bodies, gripping his pained erection. He whimpered at the attention, his hand desperately moving up and down on the hard and hot flesh.
Sho grunted at how the man was tightening around him the more he touched himself. His pace increased pulling more loving and constant whines from the younger singer.
“I’m close, I’m so close…Sho,” Nino gasped. Their speed intensified before the younger man’s prostate was soon discovered. The gamer cried out, letting the white globs shoot on his and Sho’s stomach. Nino’s eyes were dazed as he tried to calm down from his high.
Slowly their hands rejoined, neither caring about the small amount of cum that was still on Nino’s hand. “Kazu,” Sho grunted as his own orgasm started approaching. “I’m almost there,” he moaned.
“Come for me,” Nino moaned, looking into Sho’s eyes. The older man grunted and released in the condom. His body shuddered as his orgasm took hold of him. He gingerly pulled out and removed the soiled rubber before relaxing next to Nino.
“I missed you,” he panted. “I missed this.”
“Me too,” Nino smiled and leaned in to kiss Sho. Their tongues moved lazily around each other. Sho got up and cleaned their mid-sections before lying in bed and falling asleep.
For the first time in three years they had someone to cuddle up next to as they slept.
*****
Since that day forward it was as if they hadn’t broken up. Sho would kiss him privately in their dressing rooms. He’d whisper that he loves him and would sometimes go out his way to do things for him. Like when Nino got sick and only wanted some soup from a certain store that was thirty minutes away. Sho wasted no time grabbing a taxi there, even if that did make him a bit late when he returned. Of course Nino scolded him, aside from Matsumoto’s sharp words, but the small smile that graced his lips as he ate was all worth it to Sho.
Nino was curled up into his side in their dressing room, as he played with his DS. Sho was reading his newspaper, resting his head on the other man’s. Neither said a thing.
The scene was all too common to the other members. They weren’t directly told that they had gotten back together. Though it was their little moments, such as this, that let them all know the rift between them was now over.
“Want to go out drinking tonight?” Aiba asked all of them.
“If Sho doesn’t go overboard, then sure,” Jun said.
“Don’t worry I got my eyes on him,” Nino smirked, closing his game, and rubbed Sho’s thigh briefly. Sho smiled took the hand in his.
"I’ll stop when you tell me to," he murmured, but was loud enough for the other three to hear. Nino turned to him and gave him a small kiss only to be chastised by Jun about how he doesn’t want to see that. Out of spite the gamer pressed ever harder against Sho, pushing him down against the couch as he practically sucked his lips right off.
Ohno and Aiba laughed at the discomfort it caused Matsumoto.
He wants to live in this moment, he wanted this forever.
Nino pulled up from Sho and smiled down at him. The older man lifted his hand and stroked his cheek, his eyes turning into happy crescents as he laughed.
Even with what they had been through, he still loved him.
END