A moment of human sorrow
I went dancing tonight as I normally do, and as always there was this one older guy there. He has been at every dance for as long as I have been going dancing here in Ft. Collins with is something like 7 or 8 years. He has long ratty grey hair and one of those beards that looks like he just never shaves. Not a soul talks with him and he really can't dance. But he is always there, never misses a night. Tonight as I was leaving I was he sitting at a table crying, and not just tears, but anguish was pouring out of this man. It was ironic to be in such a happy place, and have someone being over come by their own isolation, joy causes pain. I don't think that I have ever seen anyone so alone, no matter the cause or the reason it is a tragedy. And there was no one there to comfort him even though there were 50 people in the room, and I was in no way going to openly care for him. So instead we just feel guilt, about not acting. We don't love as well as we should, or care as much as we can.
But the truth is we are all the reason for his seclusion from the world. Just watch TV and there are commercials for whitening your teeth, low carb diets, laser hair removal...... So much for each of us being a unique gift of God. And although I do not believe in these things, I have been programmed. Pretty people are better than ugly people. I can follow are manufactured set of social skills and feel uncomfortable if someone doesn't follow the set of rules that I don't really know are there. Because there is no reason that anyone should sit in public crying, and still be alone. My fault, our fault, and yes his fault. Or maybe our ideal is just a lie.
This guy reminds me of this guy Steven who lived in my dorm. He was all-alone in the crowd, just as this man. And my observation then was simple; no one will like you if you don't like your self. "There is vivid desperation every where."
And I was too afraid to reach out, culture does not just make us stupid, it makes us callus and most of all afraid. Do I have any ugly friends? Do I really give a damn; no I am just full of bullshit.
But the truth is we are all the reason for his seclusion from the world. Just watch TV and there are commercials for whitening your teeth, low carb diets, laser hair removal...... So much for each of us being a unique gift of God. And although I do not believe in these things, I have been programmed. Pretty people are better than ugly people. I can follow are manufactured set of social skills and feel uncomfortable if someone doesn't follow the set of rules that I don't really know are there. Because there is no reason that anyone should sit in public crying, and still be alone. My fault, our fault, and yes his fault. Or maybe our ideal is just a lie.
This guy reminds me of this guy Steven who lived in my dorm. He was all-alone in the crowd, just as this man. And my observation then was simple; no one will like you if you don't like your self. "There is vivid desperation every where."
And I was too afraid to reach out, culture does not just make us stupid, it makes us callus and most of all afraid. Do I have any ugly friends? Do I really give a damn; no I am just full of bullshit.