(no subject)

[cruxinherchest]

I really need to see someone.  I don't remember what it's like to be happy and I've never felt so alone in my life.  I'm making this so much bigger that it has to be, but it's just the simple fact that you want to go away.  I'm not your best friend anymore and things will never be the same. 
Sometimes I want to go and not tell anyone when I'm coming back.  That I can't do this anymore and I don't want to be with you either because I love you so much that it hurts.  Would you even accept that?  I hate your stupid friend Phil who hates me back.  I hate the fact that you think it's okay to just leave and come back whenever.  I hate myself and I hate everything and I can't believe I'm this depressed.  I haven't gotten my period yet and I hate you and I hate what you've changed me into.  I should've spoke up more, I should've said what I wanted and continued to do the things I like to do.  I cry because I feel trapped and I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore.  I don't want anything to do with you until you try harder.

Is there anybody out there?  Can anybody hear me?  I'm making a huge mistake saying all of these things I don't mean.  I need to readjust my life.