It's been a bad week
I am so drained, but I don't feel like I can relax all the way.
My Mama had a stroke. I called her, she sounded funny, I headed for her house and sent my aunt there too because she could get there faster. We bullied her into going to the ER. They admitted her, did a CT (cat?) scan and found that she'd had a blood clot and it bled in her brain and damaged it. A stroke. They admitted her, and I went and got our pajamas and slept on a cot in her room for the next two nights.
It hasn't impaired her in any visible way so far; she has less sensation on the left half of her body, and is very slightly weaker there. Her personality has slowly come back, and I think she's pretty normal now. She was very flat before and kept singing, and it was very scary. She wouldn't make eye contact and was confused. She didn't know what day of the week it was and forgot to go to work because of that. Now she's not doing all that anymore.
It turns out that her diabetes was very poorly controlled, so she's on insulin for the first time now. I just gave her her bedtime shot and tucked her in, and I'm sleeping on the couch at her house tonight. I don't think she's ready to be in charge of all her new meds yet, and it's important that she get them correctly and on time.
I don't feel relaxed anywhere I go right now, but I feel better being in arm's reach of her than I do at my own house. I went there and got more clothes and took a shower this evening after dinner and dinner meds, but couldn't focus. I took the rest of the week off, and am so glad I can do that.
She's my Mom. I am a Mama's girl, as you may know. I think a lot of only daughters raised by single mothers are. It scared me so bad when I talked to her and she was wrong. Her voice was so wrong, but she thought she was fine.
We need to change a lot of stuff so she won't have another one. She needs different medicines, better food, more exercise. She's afraid. I'm afraid too but very determined. I will help her get better so she doesn't have another one of these.
A volunteer came by to give us new water to drink today and he wore a badge that said "I'm a stroke survivor". He came to inspire us but we mostly felt inadequate and ashamed. He had to work and work to recover from his, and still can't hold a job. Both of us got better on our own, mostly. I was a newborn, so my Mom took care of me, gave me my medicine, took me to endless appointments, but I don't remember the effort at all. She is bouncing back on her own, pure luck that it didn't damage her forever.
He gave us both badges that said the same thing "I'm a stroke survivor". We wore them to be thankful, but took them off in the car on the way home. I think ours should really say "I survived my baby's stroke" and "I survived my Mama's stroke".
I am so grateful today, for her being the way she is. I am so grateful that I called right when I did, and grateful that my Aunt helped, grateful for the doctors, the hospital, and grateful for my own life too. So grateful.
My Mama had a stroke. I called her, she sounded funny, I headed for her house and sent my aunt there too because she could get there faster. We bullied her into going to the ER. They admitted her, did a CT (cat?) scan and found that she'd had a blood clot and it bled in her brain and damaged it. A stroke. They admitted her, and I went and got our pajamas and slept on a cot in her room for the next two nights.
It hasn't impaired her in any visible way so far; she has less sensation on the left half of her body, and is very slightly weaker there. Her personality has slowly come back, and I think she's pretty normal now. She was very flat before and kept singing, and it was very scary. She wouldn't make eye contact and was confused. She didn't know what day of the week it was and forgot to go to work because of that. Now she's not doing all that anymore.
It turns out that her diabetes was very poorly controlled, so she's on insulin for the first time now. I just gave her her bedtime shot and tucked her in, and I'm sleeping on the couch at her house tonight. I don't think she's ready to be in charge of all her new meds yet, and it's important that she get them correctly and on time.
I don't feel relaxed anywhere I go right now, but I feel better being in arm's reach of her than I do at my own house. I went there and got more clothes and took a shower this evening after dinner and dinner meds, but couldn't focus. I took the rest of the week off, and am so glad I can do that.
She's my Mom. I am a Mama's girl, as you may know. I think a lot of only daughters raised by single mothers are. It scared me so bad when I talked to her and she was wrong. Her voice was so wrong, but she thought she was fine.
We need to change a lot of stuff so she won't have another one. She needs different medicines, better food, more exercise. She's afraid. I'm afraid too but very determined. I will help her get better so she doesn't have another one of these.
A volunteer came by to give us new water to drink today and he wore a badge that said "I'm a stroke survivor". He came to inspire us but we mostly felt inadequate and ashamed. He had to work and work to recover from his, and still can't hold a job. Both of us got better on our own, mostly. I was a newborn, so my Mom took care of me, gave me my medicine, took me to endless appointments, but I don't remember the effort at all. She is bouncing back on her own, pure luck that it didn't damage her forever.
He gave us both badges that said the same thing "I'm a stroke survivor". We wore them to be thankful, but took them off in the car on the way home. I think ours should really say "I survived my baby's stroke" and "I survived my Mama's stroke".
I am so grateful today, for her being the way she is. I am so grateful that I called right when I did, and grateful that my Aunt helped, grateful for the doctors, the hospital, and grateful for my own life too. So grateful.