Nov 20, 2009 21:27
I never, ever, update. Almost a year since my last update, the week after Malia was born. Since I've been spending so much time reading my communities lately that I see the "Writer's Block" prompt every day and I feel like responding most days. So today, as an effort to relieve some stress, I am making a resolution, if you want to call it that, to respond to the prompt as often as a I can.
My answer is going to sound very cliche'. For those who know me well, I'm not very cliche'. But I really and truly am proudest of having my daughter. Compared to everything else in my love, nothing matters but her.
This has completely surprised me. When I found out I was pregnant, I really did have an "oh shit" moment. Okay, days. No, months. I had never really been interested in having children. Other people's kids annoyed me. I didn't really want to be tied down. My mom and I have never had a close relationship so that made me even more insecure. I thought I might revisit the decision at 30, but felt comfortable in the meantime.
But now that she is here, I am so happy. Of course we have our bad days and very frustrating moments, but her smile makes everything worth it. When I can snuggle up with her at the end of the day and we can half-sleep, half-nurse, the stress disappears. Her growth is so much fun to watch. We are to pulling up stage. She makes lots of vocalizations. Says "mama" more than "dada," but I won't gloat. Okay, I'll gloat just a little.
And as my daughter gets bigger, and as she starts to make her own life decisions, I can only sit back and hope that she will continue to make me proud.
writer's block