now its time...to wrap our fears in the night.
Dear You, [you know who you are]
It’s taking a lot out of me to say that I am, in fact, not all right with this. And by this I mean you and your behavior.
And let me get this out before you jump to assumptions: This is not because of jealousy, or at least, not anymore. Maybe at first it was, just because I’m sick of being ignored. But not anymore. I don’t care about the both of you as one. I really don’t. I would be perfectly able to function with you two together if maybe this all hadn’t happen.
And by this all I mean, everything. You’ve changed, you’ve fucking changed, into something or someone I don’t know what to call. You’re not the same person I clung to as a friend. You’re different, and so are we as a friendship. Nothing is the same between us anymore, and I don’t exactly know where to pinpoint how it broke. Its like you’re fucking afraid of being yourself. And I’m sorry, but I don’t like that in a friend, especially when they won’t admit it.
Maybe it’s the sting of being put in second place once again. I know it’s the typical teen thing to do, ditch your best friend for your boyfriend. I know this, and I could accept it. I could accept it if you were a typical teen. I thought you were different, I thought you GOT IT. Was I wrong? Did you somehow lose what “it” really is somewhere along the way?
And I guess today was just the last straw. Its like you’re testing me, to see when I will break down and scream at you. Well I’m not going to. And I doubt you’ll read this anyway. This, where I am pouring my heart out to you. You know, like I can’t do anymore.
Its not the same between us anymore. Where did I go wrong, where did you go wrong, no one knows. But this string of behavior you have been inflicting on me has gotten to the point where I cannot take it anymore. And its bottled up inside me, because I mean, who do I fucking talk to besides you?
I hate the person you are with him, but I don’ t hate the real you. Not even a little bit, not at all. You’ve been the one person there for me constantly since I moved here. I loved you, I did. But now I really don’t know where to go or who to turn to. Its an instinct to call you, but I guess that doesn’t matter, since you’re never home anyway.
You’ve turned into a typical teenager, and it happened as soon as you started going out with him. And I’m not your best friend anymore, and I don’t know who is. This is so hard for me to do.
But you probably won’t read this, and you’ll probably never know. I’m so fucking sick and tired, and I’m still feeling so sad about this entire situation. And that is the only way to put it. You let me down.
”Don’t lift me up with your strong intent on dropping me back down. Are you like this? Afraid to be yourself. And if you somehow get through all of this without hating yourself for all of it, just know that I will hate you enough for the both of us. Spent that night alone the first in a long time. Forgotten all the loneliness and darkness in my life. But you lost a friend, that night that you let go. To drown in the sea of regret and no one knows...that I’m alone. And I can’t blame anyone but you. Self loathing once filled me but now I know the truth.”-Bayside
Now I know the truth. That even the people you would least expect to change, and not for the better.
Well now I fucking miss you.
It’s taking a lot out of me to say that I am, in fact, not all right with this. And by this I mean you and your behavior.
And let me get this out before you jump to assumptions: This is not because of jealousy, or at least, not anymore. Maybe at first it was, just because I’m sick of being ignored. But not anymore. I don’t care about the both of you as one. I really don’t. I would be perfectly able to function with you two together if maybe this all hadn’t happen.
And by this all I mean, everything. You’ve changed, you’ve fucking changed, into something or someone I don’t know what to call. You’re not the same person I clung to as a friend. You’re different, and so are we as a friendship. Nothing is the same between us anymore, and I don’t exactly know where to pinpoint how it broke. Its like you’re fucking afraid of being yourself. And I’m sorry, but I don’t like that in a friend, especially when they won’t admit it.
Maybe it’s the sting of being put in second place once again. I know it’s the typical teen thing to do, ditch your best friend for your boyfriend. I know this, and I could accept it. I could accept it if you were a typical teen. I thought you were different, I thought you GOT IT. Was I wrong? Did you somehow lose what “it” really is somewhere along the way?
And I guess today was just the last straw. Its like you’re testing me, to see when I will break down and scream at you. Well I’m not going to. And I doubt you’ll read this anyway. This, where I am pouring my heart out to you. You know, like I can’t do anymore.
Its not the same between us anymore. Where did I go wrong, where did you go wrong, no one knows. But this string of behavior you have been inflicting on me has gotten to the point where I cannot take it anymore. And its bottled up inside me, because I mean, who do I fucking talk to besides you?
I hate the person you are with him, but I don’ t hate the real you. Not even a little bit, not at all. You’ve been the one person there for me constantly since I moved here. I loved you, I did. But now I really don’t know where to go or who to turn to. Its an instinct to call you, but I guess that doesn’t matter, since you’re never home anyway.
You’ve turned into a typical teenager, and it happened as soon as you started going out with him. And I’m not your best friend anymore, and I don’t know who is. This is so hard for me to do.
But you probably won’t read this, and you’ll probably never know. I’m so fucking sick and tired, and I’m still feeling so sad about this entire situation. And that is the only way to put it. You let me down.
”Don’t lift me up with your strong intent on dropping me back down. Are you like this? Afraid to be yourself. And if you somehow get through all of this without hating yourself for all of it, just know that I will hate you enough for the both of us. Spent that night alone the first in a long time. Forgotten all the loneliness and darkness in my life. But you lost a friend, that night that you let go. To drown in the sea of regret and no one knows...that I’m alone. And I can’t blame anyone but you. Self loathing once filled me but now I know the truth.”-Bayside
Now I know the truth. That even the people you would least expect to change, and not for the better.
Well now I fucking miss you.