(no subject)
Im not happy again.
I txtd kyle to see what he was up to today and that iwas going to go for a walk, should i head in his direction. he didnt reply so i went anyway, cars were outside but i didnt have the nerve to go to the door, what if he didnt want me there..or was busy or whatver. so i wandered elsewhere and txtd again and he finaaaaally replied 3hrs after first txt saying he was out, maybe another time. thats it. so i walked home again all rejected.
I dunno its just starting to hurt again not seeing him. and now i know its silly to get back together when he wont have time for me, and whats the point of being his 'girlfriend' when ill never see him. this sucks.
I neeeeeed direction. I want to finish my job now, but then what. i hate looking for jobs and interviews..im not good at them. and i have no confidence in myself, i wish i was different.
I changed my room around this afternoon. it felt a bit sinnister like i was letting go of the past and i dont want to. the bed Kyle and i used to lie on isnt in the same place, it kinda made me sad.
I wish all these bad feelings would disappear and everything would be happy again.
I txtd kyle to see what he was up to today and that iwas going to go for a walk, should i head in his direction. he didnt reply so i went anyway, cars were outside but i didnt have the nerve to go to the door, what if he didnt want me there..or was busy or whatver. so i wandered elsewhere and txtd again and he finaaaaally replied 3hrs after first txt saying he was out, maybe another time. thats it. so i walked home again all rejected.
I dunno its just starting to hurt again not seeing him. and now i know its silly to get back together when he wont have time for me, and whats the point of being his 'girlfriend' when ill never see him. this sucks.
I neeeeeed direction. I want to finish my job now, but then what. i hate looking for jobs and interviews..im not good at them. and i have no confidence in myself, i wish i was different.
I changed my room around this afternoon. it felt a bit sinnister like i was letting go of the past and i dont want to. the bed Kyle and i used to lie on isnt in the same place, it kinda made me sad.
I wish all these bad feelings would disappear and everything would be happy again.