hot chocolate =)
okayy so at the moment there are like 49859878 things running through my head. but arent there alwayss... anyways so i applied to suny cortland a couple of weeks ago. i still have absolutely no fucking idea what im doing about school next yr. some days i wanna go away so bad and then there are days where i really wanna stay at home. fuckk why does this have to be so complicated. i feel like when im trying to make my decision its family vs. freedom/partying ofcourse. now dont get my wrong i have basically everything i could everrr ask for at home. my own room which btw is fucking huge. brand new laptop. brand new puuuurty car. and this list just keeps going. but i feel so dependant on everyone for everything especially mamaa stallone. i feel like me going away to school will be my chance to officially be independant and see how i deal with being on my own. even though its almost impossible to understand i have never done a single load of laundry in my life. couldnt even tell ya how to do it. yea its that bad. so basically until my letter of acceptance comes i will forever be pacing on what to do. ohhh and lets no even talk about the moneyyy thing. im on a scholarship right now and im paying less than half the tuition for st. joes. with cortland i will be paying tuition then on top of that room and board. oh and guess whos paying for college yea not me. mom and dad so now thats ten grand more on their part. then they have jstall in a yr for college and then coming around is jonny in three yrs. wonderful. my life is soo fucking confusing about this i have no idea what im gonna dooooo. shhhhiiit.
okayy well on a lighter note about this entry., i have decided it is time to visit benjie at bing. i miss that little bitch like fucking crazy. seriously when he was here yes he did get on my nerves at times ( but then again thats normal for bestfriends ) but now that he isnt here its so weird. everyday when i come home i expect to see his car outside his house but ofcourse its not there. actually some random car has been there and uhh yea thats ben spot sorry =). he has been asking me to come up for quite some time now and i wanted to be the perfect time and i think its finally hit its peak. so we set a weekend that was good for both of us. that happens to be next weekend march 7-9. so ofcourse the one weekend that i thought might be good doesnt work for some people. well for kdon pete is here for the weekend and i would never expect or ask her seriously to come with me bc hes only here for a week. enough said. laura i feel like she never is gnna be able to because of school, i want her to soooo good this semester. she deserves it because i know she works hard. so i turn to nicole =). i figure she is the BESTTT person . becuase
a. her and ben are close and she was one of the ppl on his list of who he wanted to visit him !
b. amico goes there.... need i say more
so basically i figure if she is able to come we can all hang out. and then at times her and amico can go and hang out by themselves and me and ben can be alone for a while like old times ofcourse. so im hoping she can come because it is just perfff.
well anyways i dont feel this should be any longer than it already is. but i will most likely write a little more later after "studying" and shit. i didnt really think i had so much to say but i guess i do. so ill sip some of my hot cocoa and bee backkk.