on the previous *CLOSED* - extended version
i was out of town for the weekend and so couldn't answer mail. in brief, yes i'm all right, i haven't been hit with a brick, or overdosed on weed, or enrolled into La Legion etrangere to march off into sunset. nothing of the kind.
it wasn't too polite to disappear like this, but i've grumbled about deleting my LJ[s] since last winter and thought another such post would sound too much like attention-craving emo shit. well, either way it turned out awkward :(
the thing is, at the moment i don't see much use for since its primary purpose was fandomish activities, namely showcasing my fiction. without that, i don't know what to put there [RL? who wants to read about RL??]; chances are i'll bring it back as a portal to read, say, communities, or even to post. or maybe not. there's still a month to decide.
another awkward moment was that i decided to delete it in the wake of LJ purge/policy riot. well, one thing is certain: i have nothing to do with that. no migration to greatjournal or anyplace else, so please don't think i've run off into the dark without notice to get rid of old acquaintances or something.
well, to sum up the main reason, i've re-written this post a few times already, and it still sounds whiny and trite. we've all heard this before: ohh, i'm not being read, i won't post another fic until i get more feedback. technically, i can subscribe to that, even if i'd have preferred a less primitive/straightforward phrasing.
my old LJ had, afair, about 110 readers. of those there was perhaps a handful i friended myself; all others presumably arrived there through fandom interest search, and presumably that's what we had in common. i also assume they came there for fanfics, because i didn't produce anything else in fandoms. presumably, because i never heard a word from them, apart from the half a dozen of readers who did reveal themselves. weirder still, some of those lurkers apparently - judging from their own posts - had opposite [and i'd say, at places belligerently opposite] opinions about canon, characterisation, and narrative techniques than what i normally put in my fics. what was the reason of their interest in my journal? i'll never know.
anyway, what i'm trying to say, i'm not a fucking library. or a curiosity shop. as it is, i'm not going to write fics that aren't read. in published fiction, the currency is money, here in fandom the payment is interactivity. mind you, i'm not saying i crave praise; i want discussion and drooling over objects of common interest. without that, i'd rather have the plots of potential fics run through my head in all their visual perfection without turning to the pains of rendering and limiting them to written word. seriously, i envy those people who just open the LJ posting window and let the story flow onward unhinged; i couldn't do that first of all because English isn't my native language, and i'm generally a slow speaker, so there's absolutely NO joy for me in writing for its own decorative sake.
well, that's it. i hope i haven't offended anyone, and there are billions of 'very nice' stories out there to keep you busy. i've taken offline most of my fics, too - the people who have openly expressed interest already have them, and those who didn't - well, sorry folks, i had no way of knowing that you exist.
it wasn't too polite to disappear like this, but i've grumbled about deleting my LJ[s] since last winter and thought another such post would sound too much like attention-craving emo shit. well, either way it turned out awkward :(
the thing is, at the moment i don't see much use for since its primary purpose was fandomish activities, namely showcasing my fiction. without that, i don't know what to put there [RL? who wants to read about RL??]; chances are i'll bring it back as a portal to read, say, communities, or even to post. or maybe not. there's still a month to decide.
another awkward moment was that i decided to delete it in the wake of LJ purge/policy riot. well, one thing is certain: i have nothing to do with that. no migration to greatjournal or anyplace else, so please don't think i've run off into the dark without notice to get rid of old acquaintances or something.
well, to sum up the main reason, i've re-written this post a few times already, and it still sounds whiny and trite. we've all heard this before: ohh, i'm not being read, i won't post another fic until i get more feedback. technically, i can subscribe to that, even if i'd have preferred a less primitive/straightforward phrasing.
my old LJ had, afair, about 110 readers. of those there was perhaps a handful i friended myself; all others presumably arrived there through fandom interest search, and presumably that's what we had in common. i also assume they came there for fanfics, because i didn't produce anything else in fandoms. presumably, because i never heard a word from them, apart from the half a dozen of readers who did reveal themselves. weirder still, some of those lurkers apparently - judging from their own posts - had opposite [and i'd say, at places belligerently opposite] opinions about canon, characterisation, and narrative techniques than what i normally put in my fics. what was the reason of their interest in my journal? i'll never know.
anyway, what i'm trying to say, i'm not a fucking library. or a curiosity shop. as it is, i'm not going to write fics that aren't read. in published fiction, the currency is money, here in fandom the payment is interactivity. mind you, i'm not saying i crave praise; i want discussion and drooling over objects of common interest. without that, i'd rather have the plots of potential fics run through my head in all their visual perfection without turning to the pains of rendering and limiting them to written word. seriously, i envy those people who just open the LJ posting window and let the story flow onward unhinged; i couldn't do that first of all because English isn't my native language, and i'm generally a slow speaker, so there's absolutely NO joy for me in writing for its own decorative sake.
well, that's it. i hope i haven't offended anyone, and there are billions of 'very nice' stories out there to keep you busy. i've taken offline most of my fics, too - the people who have openly expressed interest already have them, and those who didn't - well, sorry folks, i had no way of knowing that you exist.