still retarded.
i'm just confirming my earlier post where i said that i'm retarded when it comes to guys. like heavily WHACKED. so i was seriously trying to avoid this guy at all costs because i was uncomfortable he'd try something or i'd have to tell him to back off. so he shows up at the bar we hang out at, on st. patrick's day. i wasnt surprised but i was uncomfortable. so he like ..caresses my leg, and i'm shy so i ignore it. and then he tells my cousin, when i wasn't around, that he really likes me and wondered if i had said anything to her, and he's worried that cause we were both drunk ..it was just a one time kinda thing. so i kind of lie to him and tell him that i don't remember much cause i don't want to give him the speech about thinking something was there and there really wasn't. NOW I LIKE HIM AGAIN. my god, i'm seriously a freak. he apologized for kissing me because i was obviously drunk, which i said he didnt have to cause i'm an adult and obviously wanted to or i wouldnt have. i think though ..that because i've only had one boyfriend ..even though i always thought i'd be so into having attention and actually being asked out would be great, i was wrong. i got scared. he came on too strong and that's the reason why i thought i didn't like him anymore. so i ended up leaving early that night and didn't really get to further explain anything to him ..so this week when i see him, i'm going to tell him that i didnt mean that i didnt like him, but i'll be completely honest with him and tell him he came on a little strong and i got scared. like ..he's good friends with all my friends but i dont know him all that well. so i'm going to tell him that i think we should hang out as friends and get to know eachother and then maybe take it to the next level when i'm ready. i still feel bad though. i know he wasn't mad or anything but we didnt really get a chance to talk and i have to wait all week to see him again ..i hope he doesnt like think i'm a bitch and completely write me off. i wasnt mean though when i said that stuff to him ..and he gave me a nice hug when i left, and i told him i'd probably see him next weekend. so hopefully that happens. he really is a nice guy and would probably be fun to date ..we'll just have to take it slow because apparently i'm a wimp. anyways, that's all really.