Why, Why, Why?
Manifesto for whedonland.
OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE ALL MEANT FOR EACH OTHER
LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND LOOK AT ALL THEIR FACES
THEIR FACES
FULL
OF LOVE.
AND MAYBE FULL OF FACE STUFF TOO BUT MOSTLY FULL OF LOVE. CAN'T YOU FEEL IT?
LOOK AT HOW ANYA HOLDS THOSE GRAPES. LOOK AT ANGEL'S HALF-CLOSED EYES. LOOK AT KENNEDY AND THAT CEREAL. RIVER ON THAT COFFIN. THOSE TWO RANDOM GUYS. YOU CAN TELL THE GUY ON THE RIGHT IS TOTALLY INTO THAT OTHER GUY'S HAT. THAT'S WHY HE HAS TO WEAR IT. WHY ELSE WOULD ANYONE MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WEAR A STUPID HAT LIKE THAT EVEN IF IT IS THE FIFTIES OR SOMETHING? AND GUNN AND WESLEY. JUST FORGET THE PART OF THIS SONG WHERE IT SAYS IT'S NOT A ROMANTIC LOVE AND IT APPLIES PERFECTLY TO THEM. BECAUSE IT FITS THEM. I MEAN, THEIR NAMES EVEN FIT RIGHT INTO THE SONG. INSTEAD OF "TURK AND J.D," JUST CHANGE IT TO "GUNN AND WESLEY." SEE? PERFECT.
NOW GO FIND THE MOST ROMANTIC SONG YOU KNOW AND TAKE IT AND LISTEN TO IT AND LOOK AT THOSE PHOTOGRAPHS AND THINK REAL HARD ABOUT THE MEANING OF LIFE AND I THINK IF YOU DO EXACTLY AS I SAY (CANDLES AND CHOCOLATE MAY HELP) THAT IT WILL COME TO YOU IN A DREAM
THAT'S WHAT IT DID FOR ME YOU SEE
THAT'S WHY I AM SO WISE
1. THEY LIFT WEIGHTS TOGETHER. THAT'S WHAT MEN DO WHEN THEY LOVE EACH OTHER BUT THEY ARE AFRAID TO SAY IT.
2. THEY ARE BOTH VERY VERY MANLY. YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE JAYNE WEARS A TOWEL AROUND HIS NECK TO SIGNIFY THE LEGENDARY TOWEL OF MANLINESS THAT, ACCORDING TO MYTH, WILL ONE DAY BE FOUND BY A GREAT WARRIOR AND SIGNIFY THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ERA OF MANLINESS. OBVIOUSLY JAYNE CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN
3. THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING BETWEEN THEM I MEAN HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE IT
4. WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND MUTE THE SCENE AND PLAY SOME MUSIC OVER IT AND SEE IF YOU STILL DISARGEE, CAUSE I GUARANTEE, BABY, YOU WON'T
5. LISTEN TO THAT SONG. DOESN'T IT FIT? RESTLESS WARRIOR? WIDE-EYED WANDERER? THIS SONG WAS WRITTEN FOR THEM. FOR BAYNE. OBVIOUSLY. YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SEE IT BECAUSE IF YOU CAN'T THERE'S SOMETHING TOTALLY WRONG WITH YOU AND YOU SHOULD GET IT CHECKED OUT, SERIOUSLY MAN. SEE A DOCTOR.
LOOK AT THE WAY NISKA TOUCHES HIM.
LOOK AT THE WAY MAL LOOKS AT HIM.
THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE AIR, AND IT ISN'T JUST THE SMELL OF BLOOD.
I THINK IT'S TRUE LOVE GUYS. DON'T YOU? IT COULDN'T BE MORE OBVIOUS.
PLUS EVERYTHING THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IS A CODE. SO YOU KNOW, WHEN NISKA SAYS "I WANT TO KILL YOU" WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS "I AM USING AN ANCIENT 19TH CENTURY CODE INVENTED BY MY ANCESTORS TO TELL YOU SECRETLY THAT I LOVE YOU AND I DO NOT SAY SO EXPLICITLY BECAUSE MY GOONS WILL ALL BE JEALOUS YOU SEE IF THEY FIND OUT THAT I LOVE ANOTHER MAN THEY WILL LEAVE ME AND THEN I WILL HAVE NOBODY TO BRING ME JELLO ON TUESDAYS"
SO THEIRS IS A FORBIDDEN LOVE
AND THAT'S WHY WE NEVER HEAR ABOUT IT; BECAUSE IT GOT CANCELLED BEFORE NISKA WORKED UP THE NERVE TO GIVE UP HIS JELLO.
TRUST ME GUYS
IT'S IN THE DVD COMMENTARY
LOOK AT THAT
LOOK AT THAT
LOOK AT THAT PASSION
DON'T YOU SEE IT? DON'T YOU SEE IT? LOOK CLOSER NOW IF YOU DON'T. BUT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO LOOK CLOSER
AND THIS IS *THEIR SONG.*
A PERFECT SUMMATION OF HOW SPIKE IS RULED BY HIS LOVE
HIS LOVE FOR PIKACHU
THEY HAVE MANY SHARED INTERESTS YOU SEE:
SPIKE WILL FIERCELY PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES FROM ANY HARM
SO WILL PIKACHU
SPIKE WILL DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR THOSE HE LOVES
SO WILL PIKACHU
SPIKE LOVES FIGHTING AND BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF OTHERS OF HIS SPECIES
SO DOES PIKACHU
NOW SOME PEOPLE MISINTERPRET ALL OF HIS SIGNALS AND THEY THINK HE LOVES DRUSILLA OR BUFFY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ON IF YOU THINK THAT BECAUSE MAN YOU ARE SO WRONG IT MAKES ME ABSOLUTELY LITERALLY SICK. SICK I SAY.
NOW I WANT YOU TO REREAD THIS MANIFESTO EVERY NIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED. I WANT YOU TO READ IT ALOUD, REPEAT EACH WORD, GATHER YOUR FRIENDS AND RECITE IT TOGETHER LIKE A PRAYER BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW DO YOU HEAR ME? AND KEEP IT ON YOUR MIND EACH DAY AS YOU GO ABOUT YOUR ROUTINE. AND RECITE IT TO YOURSELF EVERY FEW HOURS. AND BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR LIFE AND REPEAT TO YOURSELF THE ONE UNIVERSAL TRUTH: THAT YOU ARE HERE TODAY BECAUSE OF SPIKE'S LOVE FOR PIKACHU
NOW OBVIOUSLY IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME NOW I AM FORCED TO WONDER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. I PROVIDED PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE FOR EACH OF THESE SHIPS AND YOU SERIOUSLY MUST BE MENTALLY DEFICIENT IF YOU DO NOT AGREE I MEAN SERIOUSLY THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST ROMANTIC THING SINCE YOU KNOW EVER.
THANK YOU FOR READING
AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT/WHATEVER TIME IT IS THERE
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
I REALLY DO
BUT NOT AS MUCH AS SPIKE LOVES PIKACHU
OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE ALL MEANT FOR EACH OTHER
LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND LOOK AT ALL THEIR FACES
THEIR FACES
FULL
OF LOVE.
AND MAYBE FULL OF FACE STUFF TOO BUT MOSTLY FULL OF LOVE. CAN'T YOU FEEL IT?
LOOK AT HOW ANYA HOLDS THOSE GRAPES. LOOK AT ANGEL'S HALF-CLOSED EYES. LOOK AT KENNEDY AND THAT CEREAL. RIVER ON THAT COFFIN. THOSE TWO RANDOM GUYS. YOU CAN TELL THE GUY ON THE RIGHT IS TOTALLY INTO THAT OTHER GUY'S HAT. THAT'S WHY HE HAS TO WEAR IT. WHY ELSE WOULD ANYONE MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WEAR A STUPID HAT LIKE THAT EVEN IF IT IS THE FIFTIES OR SOMETHING? AND GUNN AND WESLEY. JUST FORGET THE PART OF THIS SONG WHERE IT SAYS IT'S NOT A ROMANTIC LOVE AND IT APPLIES PERFECTLY TO THEM. BECAUSE IT FITS THEM. I MEAN, THEIR NAMES EVEN FIT RIGHT INTO THE SONG. INSTEAD OF "TURK AND J.D," JUST CHANGE IT TO "GUNN AND WESLEY." SEE? PERFECT.
NOW GO FIND THE MOST ROMANTIC SONG YOU KNOW AND TAKE IT AND LISTEN TO IT AND LOOK AT THOSE PHOTOGRAPHS AND THINK REAL HARD ABOUT THE MEANING OF LIFE AND I THINK IF YOU DO EXACTLY AS I SAY (CANDLES AND CHOCOLATE MAY HELP) THAT IT WILL COME TO YOU IN A DREAM
THAT'S WHAT IT DID FOR ME YOU SEE
THAT'S WHY I AM SO WISE
1. THEY LIFT WEIGHTS TOGETHER. THAT'S WHAT MEN DO WHEN THEY LOVE EACH OTHER BUT THEY ARE AFRAID TO SAY IT.
2. THEY ARE BOTH VERY VERY MANLY. YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE JAYNE WEARS A TOWEL AROUND HIS NECK TO SIGNIFY THE LEGENDARY TOWEL OF MANLINESS THAT, ACCORDING TO MYTH, WILL ONE DAY BE FOUND BY A GREAT WARRIOR AND SIGNIFY THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ERA OF MANLINESS. OBVIOUSLY JAYNE CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN
3. THERE IS OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING BETWEEN THEM I MEAN HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE IT
4. WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND MUTE THE SCENE AND PLAY SOME MUSIC OVER IT AND SEE IF YOU STILL DISARGEE, CAUSE I GUARANTEE, BABY, YOU WON'T
5. LISTEN TO THAT SONG. DOESN'T IT FIT? RESTLESS WARRIOR? WIDE-EYED WANDERER? THIS SONG WAS WRITTEN FOR THEM. FOR BAYNE. OBVIOUSLY. YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SEE IT BECAUSE IF YOU CAN'T THERE'S SOMETHING TOTALLY WRONG WITH YOU AND YOU SHOULD GET IT CHECKED OUT, SERIOUSLY MAN. SEE A DOCTOR.
LOOK AT THE WAY NISKA TOUCHES HIM.
LOOK AT THE WAY MAL LOOKS AT HIM.
THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE AIR, AND IT ISN'T JUST THE SMELL OF BLOOD.
I THINK IT'S TRUE LOVE GUYS. DON'T YOU? IT COULDN'T BE MORE OBVIOUS.
PLUS EVERYTHING THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IS A CODE. SO YOU KNOW, WHEN NISKA SAYS "I WANT TO KILL YOU" WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS "I AM USING AN ANCIENT 19TH CENTURY CODE INVENTED BY MY ANCESTORS TO TELL YOU SECRETLY THAT I LOVE YOU AND I DO NOT SAY SO EXPLICITLY BECAUSE MY GOONS WILL ALL BE JEALOUS YOU SEE IF THEY FIND OUT THAT I LOVE ANOTHER MAN THEY WILL LEAVE ME AND THEN I WILL HAVE NOBODY TO BRING ME JELLO ON TUESDAYS"
SO THEIRS IS A FORBIDDEN LOVE
AND THAT'S WHY WE NEVER HEAR ABOUT IT; BECAUSE IT GOT CANCELLED BEFORE NISKA WORKED UP THE NERVE TO GIVE UP HIS JELLO.
TRUST ME GUYS
IT'S IN THE DVD COMMENTARY
LOOK AT THAT
LOOK AT THAT
LOOK AT THAT PASSION
DON'T YOU SEE IT? DON'T YOU SEE IT? LOOK CLOSER NOW IF YOU DON'T. BUT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO LOOK CLOSER
AND THIS IS *THEIR SONG.*
A PERFECT SUMMATION OF HOW SPIKE IS RULED BY HIS LOVE
HIS LOVE FOR PIKACHU
THEY HAVE MANY SHARED INTERESTS YOU SEE:
SPIKE WILL FIERCELY PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES FROM ANY HARM
SO WILL PIKACHU
SPIKE WILL DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR THOSE HE LOVES
SO WILL PIKACHU
SPIKE LOVES FIGHTING AND BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF OTHERS OF HIS SPECIES
SO DOES PIKACHU
NOW SOME PEOPLE MISINTERPRET ALL OF HIS SIGNALS AND THEY THINK HE LOVES DRUSILLA OR BUFFY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ON IF YOU THINK THAT BECAUSE MAN YOU ARE SO WRONG IT MAKES ME ABSOLUTELY LITERALLY SICK. SICK I SAY.
NOW I WANT YOU TO REREAD THIS MANIFESTO EVERY NIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED. I WANT YOU TO READ IT ALOUD, REPEAT EACH WORD, GATHER YOUR FRIENDS AND RECITE IT TOGETHER LIKE A PRAYER BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW DO YOU HEAR ME? AND KEEP IT ON YOUR MIND EACH DAY AS YOU GO ABOUT YOUR ROUTINE. AND RECITE IT TO YOURSELF EVERY FEW HOURS. AND BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR LIFE AND REPEAT TO YOURSELF THE ONE UNIVERSAL TRUTH: THAT YOU ARE HERE TODAY BECAUSE OF SPIKE'S LOVE FOR PIKACHU
NOW OBVIOUSLY IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME NOW I AM FORCED TO WONDER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. I PROVIDED PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE FOR EACH OF THESE SHIPS AND YOU SERIOUSLY MUST BE MENTALLY DEFICIENT IF YOU DO NOT AGREE I MEAN SERIOUSLY THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST ROMANTIC THING SINCE YOU KNOW EVER.
THANK YOU FOR READING
AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT/WHATEVER TIME IT IS THERE
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
I REALLY DO
BUT NOT AS MUCH AS SPIKE LOVES PIKACHU