[One-shot] World Without Aiba Masaki
Title : World Without Aiba Masaki
Author : lovu_lovu_aiba
Beta : andreja1989
Pairing : Sakuraiba
Genre : Romance, angst here and there
Rating : NC17
Disclaimer : The boys aren't mine, I really hope I own them tho XD
Summary : No one was born to be useless so don't ever think to gone from this world. You will never know what will happened to the world without your existence. One soul of human is not a small thing for this world.
Note : For my beloved midorinohana Happy birthday love! :D
I won't write anything sappy atm because I know you will cry like baby and we don't need swollen eyes birthday girl. Just to let you know, I'm glad to have you in my life~ no matter how easy we got into argument as I said, we will be okay and argument showed how close we are to each other, be happy always or I will kill ya if you dare to be sad~ otanjoubi omedetou~~ XD
~*~
There was one thing that Aiba Masaki hated about Sakurai Sho, of course Sho was smart, handsome, kind hearted, mother-hen like that would really, really easily worry about small stuff, small stuff like how pale Nino looks when he dyed his hair into blond and so persistent to ask him to eat half of his bento since Nino looked too skinny for his taste. Or when Ohno looked too dark and Nino looked even paler besides him, he said, ‘stop fishing and make Nino look at least a bit healthy besides you!’ But now Nino was black again, his hair at least, so Ohno was saved from long argument with Sho, mostly Sho argued and Ohno only nodded, sometimes mumbled unrealistic things like Nino could join him so his skin would look darker. Sho argued back with: Nino… is seasick or everything-related-to-sea sick, excluded Ohno Satoshi of course, just because his ass was squeezable.
Of course, he was worried over Aiba also. Aiba was energetic, with a super high tension that couldn’t be turned off, he always smiled, even when he couldn’t breathe properly, even when he was dying, that made Sho even more worried. That was the moment that made Sho realize that he worried about Aiba a bit more than other members, not only when Aiba was sick but also when he talked too much to Nino and made Sho feel like an outsider also when Aiba asked Ohno to dinner with him without offering the same to Sho. That was the time when Sho couldn’t make any difference between worry and jealous, unreasonable desire to touch Aiba’s lips and his very own urge to kiss Aiba, when he couldn’t make any difference between his imagination and love.
He loves Aiba…
Simple but honest.
And Aiba loves him back…
Passionately but no less honest.
Although Aiba really hated to hide their relationship from other members when obviously, people with eyes, who shared the same green room with them, would notice. They were still looking as normal as usual, nothing more than Sho would eyeing Aiba with a very soft gaze, even softer when Aiba laughed to Nino’s joke. So Aiba felt fabricated when Sho rejected to lend his shoulder as Aiba really wanted to sleep or when Sho rejected to kiss him just because Ohno was in the room, sleeping! The more Sho said that it would be better for them to hide it from other members, the more Aiba felt Sho felt embarrassed to date him, ashamed of their relationship. It hurts…
And Aiba couldn’t stand it anymore…
“Let’s break up, Sho-chan…” Aiba finally said as they reached the apartment that they rented, Sho wrote an unbelievable amount of zeroes in his check book to get it because Aiba said he loves to see the scenery so much.
Sho was in utter shock until he didn’t even remember to close the front door as he followed the younger, “What the hell are you talking about Aiba Masaki?! This is not funny! And I’m not breaking up with you!” Sho exclaimed almost shouted at him.
Aiba was being extremely quiet and busied himself to take some water as Sho cornered him to the kitchen table, placed both his hands to the younger’s sides so he couldn’t run away, “What’s gotten into you, Masaki?”
“Sho-chan, please…” he boosted the other away but failed and still trapped between table and the rapper’s body.
“What is it? What did I do?” Sho questioned his lover again as the other stubbornly kept his lips glued. “Is it because I rejected to kiss you?”
Aiba was honest, always so honest, even if he lied or hid something, other people would able see it easily, just like when he answered with a ‘no’ but diverted his gaze, rejected to look back at Sho. “For God’s sake, Masaki! There is someone else there, what if they see?”
Sho almost backed off when he saw the other’s eyes glisten with tears, “What if I don’t care?” The older was ready to argue when Aiba continued, “What if I still want you to kiss me, to hold me even if there is someone else there? What if I don’t care people seeing us?”
“You are not serious…”
“I’m serious Sho-chan! You are the only one who wants to hide us from other members, not me!” Aiba started to struggle from Sho’s embrace.
“I told you my reason! We can’t mix our work with our relationship! I don’t understand why this small matter makes you want to break up with me!”
Aiba’s eyes widened in disbelief, “Small matter? I’m really sorry if my feelings are a small matter for you, I’m really sorry if I feel extremely unconfident to date you, I’m sorry because I never will be good enough for you!”
Sho looked taken a back, “I never feel ashamed to date you…” As his trial to talk calmly to Aiba when he understood perfectly what’s the younger’s problem was, he lowered his voice, “I was the one who confessed, I was the one who asked you to date me, why would I feel ashamed about that?”
“Maybe because you don’t love me…”
“For God’s sake, I love you! Please think realistic, why did I confess to you if I don’t love you?”
A tear ran down Aiba’s cheek and Sho grips harder on the table, Aiba’s tears were one of Sho’s weak points, he couldn’t stand to see it, not when he cried in the Budokan some years back as he told the other members about how grateful he was to be part of Arashi, nor his tears in general because Aiba was always being so Aiba with all melancholic stuff covered by his bright smiles. “Maybe it was a mistake…”
He pushed Sho away and barged to their bedroom as the older ran after him and caught his hand right when Aiba reached to door knob to close the door, “I’m really sorry to be a mistake in your life, Sho-chan! Maybe it would be better if you never met me, maybe even better if I never existed!” Aiba flinched his hand away and closed the door before Sho could do anything, not even to say that Aiba never be anyone’s mistake, that ‘they’ never were a mistake.
Aiba threw himself on the bed and cried, like he used to do whenever he felt hard, sad, happy, he just couldn’t stop being Arashi’s crybaby. The different thing was that he was alone now, while usually he had Sho who would hug him to cast his worries away or Jun who would cry together with him despite his so called DoS side or Nino although he most probably would just hit him on the head and say something like Aiba was being so noisy, even their leader who would only stay there because he didn’t need to do anything to make Aiba feel comfortable around him, but none of them were there.
He buried himself on the bed as a thought crossed his mind, Sho would need to sleep in the couch without a blanket.
And he couldn’t stand cold…
Aiba let out a muffled sigh as he crawled from the bed and dragged the bed cover together with him. He reached the door and opened it slowly, in his own shock, Sho was still flabbergasted behind the door, “Masaki! I’m not break-”
“-ing uppp with you!” his voice fainted under the blanket that Aiba threw to his face as the younger locked himself up again in their room.
Aiba’s slumber wasn’t full of beautiful dream, in fact he kept waking up in the middle of night although he couldn’t remember if he got any nightmare. When he awakened for the nth time that night, he realized that his roistering sleep was because of the loss of Sho’s presence in the very same bed but he shrugged the thoughts away and shut his eyes tightly. There was no more Sho and Masaki… He would vanish from Sho’s life for good…
~*~
Aiba awakened when he heard a familiar snoring beside him and another weird sound that the zookeeper noticed as the sound of gritted teeth. His awareness was back so fast as he threw himself out of the bed. Sho… His gaze wandered and found Sho’s figure on the bed, obviously not even disturbed by Aiba’s sudden commotion. Why did Sho sleep in the room? He made sure to lock the door and even if he didn’t Sho would never barge in, he valued Aiba’s feelings too much and won’t even consider to use spare key to sleep on the bed. But why…?
Aiba needed some more minutes to absorb his surroundings, the first time he noticed was the missing of his picture and Sho in the night stand, then the shape of the table was different, it wasn’t the night stand that he bought together with Sho, he remembered clearly they got into long argument to choose between two and of course Aiba won and Sho gave up on his black and classy night stand. Then Aiba started to realize that he was standing in a different room, he didn’t awake in his apartment with Sho… It wasn’t their wide bedroom with large window that Aiba loved because they lived in 25th floor and the city’s view under them was always so amazing. That window made Aiba blush randomly since for some reasons that Aiba didn’t understand, Sho liked to make love with him near the window, made their bed totally useless. But instead seeing the window he loved, Aiba found a plain and normal looking window, this room for sure was smaller than their bedroom and every single thing was so different with their bed room. Where am I…?
Aiba was at the verge of cring when Sho moved from the bed, lazily rubbed his eyes to drift his sleepiness away. Aiba was too panicked to even remember that Sho was sleeping there, he was sure something bad happened to his head, or maybe some crazy stalkers kidnapped him and Sho?
“Sho-chan…”He whimpered in dread and horror. “Sho-chan, where is this…? What kind of place is this? Why didn’t we sleep in our apartment?”
Sho… Sho always got answer for Aiba’s questions no matter how silly it was but Sho didn’t even answer him. Totally ignoring the younger, he stretched his arms calmly as he rose up. “Sho-chan, I know you are mad but this is not funny… where are we?”
Aiba started to cry when he stomped in front of Sho, who for some reasons looked unable to see Aiba, instead answering or actually looking into the younger in front of him, he continued his stretching. “Sho-chan!” Aiba’s eyes widened when he reached for his lover but instead grasped his arm, Aiba’s hand went through Sho body like it wasn’t solid.
“What happened to me?!” Aiba shrieked in desperation as Sho walked through his body. Did he die…? When? What happened? Why did he die? All the realizations punched Aiba in one go, there were so many things he hadn’t do and he wanted to do, he hasn’t called his family for a long time because of his tight schedule, now he couldn’t even talk to them anymore, nor telling them how much he loved them, and Arashi members… and Sho… The last thing he said to Sho before he died was their relationship was a mistake. So many feelings about Sho bursted out as he bawled his heart out, how patient, understanding, kind and how Sho loved him despite of all Aiba’s selfishness.
Sho was walking out from another room that looked like a bathroom as he busied to dry his hair with white towel. Tears were still running down Aiba’s cheeks as thoughts were spinning around in his head, ‘I didn’t see any light…’ ‘I think we need to follow the light to go to heaven?’ ‘I’m not seeing any angle appearance also…’ ‘Why does no one pick me up if I died? People said if we become a ghost means we still have things to do? What is it? I still have bunch of contracts that haven’t finished yet with VS Arashi, Arashi ni Shiyagare, Himitsu no Arashi-chan, and Tensai! Shimura Doubutsuen though…’
But can we become a ghost because we haven’t finished work’s contract…?
He stared at Sho as the later put on a very ugly suit and a very tacky necktie. Sho didn’t even bother to see mirror and Aiba was sure he didn’t shave for more than a month. Aiba rose up and followed the older, now he was very sure it wasn’t their apartment, did he die for long? Did Sho already move out?
Aiba followed Sho as now he noticed Sho lived in very common apartment and went to office by foot. He could at least drive if no one picked him up, Aiba was wondering, why did the manager let Sho walk to work. What if someone spotted him? But amazingly no one did, no one recognized the guy who walked in front of him was Arashi’s Sakurai Sho. That was weird… because aside from the fact that Sho didn’t shave for a week, every single thing about him was the same, uncovered but people just passed like Sho was… ordinary person. Aiba almost freaked out because a group of high school girls walked the opposite direction with Sho but as a matter of fact none of them even glanced to him. Sho stopped in front of a small bakery and walked in, Aiba kept following his lover since he really had no idea what to do.
“Irrashaimase!” The shopkeeper greeted Sho as Aiba felt his heart sink when he saw the shopkeeper. His eyes were still sleepy and unfocused although his movement not even near to clumsy, he steadily walked around the tables while bringing a tray full of warm breads. “Oh, Sakurai-kun! Coffee?”
Sho nodded as he sat beside a guy with plaid shirt and dingy cap, “As usual, Ohno-kun, thanks!”
He felt the same sensation as the first time he saw Ohno brought a tray full of breads as now he saw the familiar mole on the-nerd-beside-Sho’s chin. “Black coffee before office, your life is plain boring, Sho-san…”
“I don’t want to hear it from an otaku like you, Nino!”
Nino shrugged, “At least my job needs creativity and is really adventurous.”
“Please… you are just game programmer…”
“And you are just boring employee, Sho-san…”
“Boys, boys… no need to be that worked up in the morning, here is your dark coffee, Sakurai-kun…” Ohno placed a cup of black coffee in front of Sho as he continued, “without sugar…”
Sho smiled to the older, “Thanks!”
Shopkeeper…? Game programmer? Employee? What the hell do they talk about?
They didn’t continue Arashi after he died? Was he dead for that long…? But they still looked like usual, early thirties men. What happened?
“Did you guys meet MatsuJun lately? I didn’t see him stop by to eat breakfast here, lately…” Nino raised his eyebrow as the way he asked to Ohno and Sho.
“I heard he got job outside Tokyo, I will meet him tonight though, want to join?” Sho answered as he checked his watch. “Crap, I need to go now! So? Nino? Ohno-kun?”
“Text us the time and place, we will see…” Nino answered as he slurped his cappuccino. Sho nodded hurriedly as he ran out the café while mumbled incoherent ittekimasu, both Ohno and Nino answered lazily.
Feverishly Aiba followed Sho as the later breathlessly caught up the queue to enter the bus. Aiba was standing invisible between people, at least he didn’t consume the bus’s cramped space that way. After some bus stops, Sho escaped from the crowded bus and walked to a big building, a publisher company. Some people with weary face greeted Sho as he entered his office and sat down in a messed room. He picked up a magazine from his desk and opened the pages randomly, Aiba could see it was an idol magazine and there were so many Johnny’s artists there. So if the agency still existed why didn’t they continue? Aiba really had no clue about what had happened actually. He saw so many groups he knew, mostly juniors of Arashi, KAT-TUN, Kis-My-Ft2, Sexy Zone, but no trace of Hey! Say! JUMP at all. Sho reached his phone as he speaks rapidly to the other person in the end of the line, “…just use other picture, they looked better in that one, okay? I will leave it to you then!”
He threw the magazine above his table as he started to drown himself into other papers. Aiba gazed to his lover as his heart felt warmer, Sho always worked hard no matter what, no matter he was an idol or a head editor, he wouldn’t do his job half heartedly. Aiba felt the wave of proud feelings toward his lover and the urge to touch Sho’s cheek. He moved closer and tried but of course his hand just gone through Sho’s face. He felt the sting on his heart as tears started to flood his face, “What am I supposed to do, Sho-chan? What happened to me? What happened to us?” Sadly Mr. I-know-everything couldn’t even hear his question and Aiba was giving up to talk to Sho.
Aiba spent that day inside Sho’s office since the older didn’t leave his office at all, he even made his subordinate to buy lunch for him. Sho left office when he got a call from MatsuJun as he earlier got a call from Nino who informed him that he and Ohno would join the dinner. The sun was completely set when Sho reached a small restaurant, he entered and immediately asked a table for four, Aiba felt another sting in his heart… Table for four…
Sho rejected politely when a waiter asked his order and told her he was still waiting for friends, the waiter bowed deeply before leaving Sho. After the waiter gone Sho made Aiba startled by pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, absent mindedly he opened it slowly and stared at it. The younger moved closer to see what did Sho read when he caught Ohno’s familiar scratch on it, he felt his cheek wet because of the tears as he recognized the guy in the picture, there was no doubt that it was Aiba… Sho brought his drawing…
The chief editor flinched when a hand grasped on his shoulder lightly, “Oh please Sho… not that drawings again!”
“Hi too, Jun!” Sho hastily folded the paper and put it inside his pocket again.
“Say, it’s Ohno-kun’s drawing right?”
Sho nodded, “yes, great as usual…”
“Please Sho-san! We all know you bring that paper everywhere not because it’s great!” He rolled his eyes as started to read the menu book. There was no replication from Sho as he chose to stare blankly to his shoes.
“You better start thinking about getting a wife than your imaginary friend.”
“He is not an imaginary friend Jun!” Sho retorted, “You won’t understand! I know he might be only existing in my head and my dream but I can’t stop the feeling that he is important…”
Jun sighed as he replied calmly, “What kind of important?”
“Like… like… if my life is a puzzle then he is the last piece of puzzle that can complete everything, I can’t stop that feeling… that somehow… somehow… that guy is important… although he never existed… I always feel that there is a hole in my heart and by remembering that guy that hole was gone…” Sho took a deep breath, “You think I’m crazy…”
Jun nodded, “Kind of…” He stared at Sho intensely as he continued, “I know it was a bad decision to let Ohno-kun draw your imaginary friend for you…”
“I told you he is not my-”
“Hey! Sorry we are late!” Nino interrupted the heated conversation by his appearance with Ohno, “Did you bring me anything from Osaka, MatsuJun? And don’t give me your photographs, I have enough of it!”
Jun threw some snacks to Nino as the older sat down beside Sho while Ohno positioned himself besides Nino and him. Jun didn’t bring up the conversation about the imaginary guy during the dinner, while Aiba stood near with them, invisible, forgotten and might be never existed…
Never existed…
Aiba shivered when he blurry recalled his last conversation with Sho, “…Maybe it would be better if you never met me, maybe even better if I never existed!”
He grasped his heart as the realization filled his head, he wished to be gone for good and he has disappeared from the world for real. This was the world without Aiba Masaki… If he was never born, Arashi won’t form… that’s why Ohno, Nino, Jun and Sho had different jobs, that’s why Sho lived in different apartment, that’s why there is no Hey! Say! JUMP in the magazine. Chinen joined the agency because he liked Ohno, but Arashi never formed nor debuted so he never tried to join, and if Chinen didn’t enter the agency then there is no Hey! Say! JUMP. Why did everything needed to be connected to each other and Aiba felt like a jerk that ruined the balance of the world.
He stared at Sho who was busy to talk about a column on his magazine and offered Jun to fill in since it was about photography. Sho…
Sho-chan…
The only one who remembered about him although he was never born… Sho never changed… he was still hard working as he was in Arashi and he still treasured Aiba deep down in his heart… Aiba tried to wipe his tears away but it just won’t to stop…
What did he do when he still had Sho for himself, when he could talk to him, when he could touch him… he complained about small stuff, threw anger to him, broke up with him although Sho rejected whole heartedly… He has hurt Sho… He has hurt him yet Sho still loved him… He wanted to touch Sho, he wanted to tell him about how grateful he was to love him and to be loved by him… he wanted to tell Sho how much he loved him…
Jun was back from rest room when he informed that he paid the dinner already and it was his treat, Aiba sniffed. It was so Jun…
He didn’t change either, they didn’t change at all, the only thing that different is there was no Aiba’s presence between them…
They called it a day not long after that and went separate paths outside the restaurant. Aiba followed Sho as he thought he would do this for the rest of his life, how long he would live anyway? Would there be an end of this nonexistence life?
Aiba smiled when Sho pulled out his drawing again and stared at it while walking slowly. Aiba’s mind was too preoccupied with other stuff as Sho slowly crossed the street. There was a loud horn of car and glinted of light, Aiba tried to reach and pulled Sho but his not solid hand went through Sho’s body, he grasped nothing but air and the bright light blinded his eyes, “SHO-CHAN!!!”
“SHO-CHAN!! SHO-CHAN!!”
Aiba closed his eyes tightly, he didn’t want to see it… he didn’t want to see it! He just screamed, screamed Sho’s name again and again… Because he would reply… That accident was just a nightmare, “SHO-CHAN!!”
Sho-chan please… don’t leave me…
“SHO-CHAN!”
There were footsteps and the sound of unlocked door, not long after Aiba felt a pair of firm arms embrace him tightly. “Masaki?! What happened? Masaki, I’m here…”
The familiar scent filled his lungs and brought Aiba back to senses, “Sho-chan…”
“Yes, yes, I’m here…”
He grasped on Sho, he could feel his warm skin, he could touch Sho, he could feel Sho’s warmth that wraps him, protected him from wreck. Aiba opened his eyes slowly and found Sho was staring at him, terror and worry projected from his eyes.
“Sho-chan… Sho-chan…”
“What is it, love? Bad dream?”
Aiba threw himself to Sho as he attempted to feel Sho more, his hands roamed to the rapper’s body and cupped his face, before Sho opened his lips to ask more Aiba covered it with his. “Sho-chan, I’m sorry! I’m stupid and egoist! I love you! I really do love you!”
Sho stunned, couldn’t really follow where their conversation lead to, “I love you too, you know it…”
“I love you, Sho-chan… I love you…” Sho frowned when obviously Aiba started to cry again.
“I know, Masaki… now tell me about your dream…” He patted his lover’s back as he brought them to lay on the bed.
“It was not a dream! I wasn’t born but I was there and you had different life, you weren’t idol and there was no Hey! Say! JUMP because we never debuted but you had my picture! Although you supposed to never have met me because I never existed!”
Sho almost laughed if he didn’t notice that his lover was being deadly serious. “Okay, can you breathe while telling me your dream? Slowly…”
Aiba nodded, “Can you hug me?”
“I’m hugging you, Masaki…”
“Tighter… please?”
Sho closed their distances as Aiba started to tell him everything, he insisted it wasn’t a dream as Sho only nodded to calm him down. “…Then suddenly there was a car… With full speed it ran to you and I tried to reach you! To pull you back but I couldn’t touch you! Sho-chan… I-I…”
“Shhh… it’s okay, it’s okay, I understand…”
“I don’t want to disappear from your life…”
Sho chuckled as he kissed Aiba’s forehead tenderly, “Neither do I… Everything is okay now… let’s sleep…”
But the younger seemed to have different plan, Aiba drew random pattern on Sho’s chest as he whispered, “Sho-chan… can we do it?”
“Nnn? Do what?”
He pulled Sho into another kiss and when he licked the rapper’s lower lip, Sho got the full idea what was the meaning of Aiba’s ‘it’. “We have shooting in the morning…”
“Please?”
“Masaki…”
“Please, Sho-chan, please…?”
Sho sighed as closed their distance again but now aggressively pinned the younger under his body, locked him in his arms. He never voiced it out because he knew Aiba would be mad at him but sometimes he thought Aiba was more fragile than crystal glass, when Sho got distracted by something, even just a bit, Aiba would broke down. Sometimes Sho was afraid to touch him more because of that, he didn’t want to be Aiba’s reason for sadness. But Aiba was strong, when everything felt so wrong for Sho, he just needed to embrace Aiba and every single worries faded away, Aiba made him stand still when his world somersaulted.
He looked down and found his lover’s brown eyes stare back at him, Aiba’s smile spread as he said an inaudible ‘I love you’. Sho was defeated; he kissed those lips, to seize the words from his owner. Sometimes Sho still couldn’t believe that Aiba loved him back, he always treated people equally, loved people equally until Sho wanted to be selfish and locked Aiba up, owned his love for him only. He kissed Aiba’s cheek and then moved further down to his neck, collarbone and chest. Sho let out a giggle when he felt Aiba’s body tensed as he moved lower and ended his kisses campaign on Aiba’s inner thigh. Sho fisted Aiba’s shaft when he felt his hand on Sho’s shoulder, resisting him for doing any further. Sho stared at him in confusion as Aiba answered his unspoken question, “Use your lips to kiss here only, Sho-chan…” Aiba said as he put his finger to his lips. Without the need for further requests Sho gummed their lips together again and started to explore the other’s cavity with his tongue.
Sho was so familiar with the body under him, he knew which part to touch first, which one more sensitive than other that would make Aiba make a sexy voice deep down in his throat. He also knew the best angle that would make resisting moans became pleasure screams. Usually Aiba would bite his lower lip if he felt good when he had sex, but ‘good’ can never satisfy Sho, he rested Aiba’s thigh on his shoulder as he now targeted to one spot.
“Ahh! Sho-chan!” Sho knew he hit the right spot when Aiba grasped on his back painfully, or when Sho felt even more tightness around him, or when Aiba closed his eyes and started to chant Sho’s name from his parted lips. Call him maniac but Sho loved it, he loved it when he was the only one that filled up Aiba’s mind and the only one who Aiba could see.
“Sho-Sho, Sho-chan… I-I…” Sho saw how Aiba’s head sank into the fluffy pillow and the way he arched his back that made impossible for Sho to move anymore when Aiba came all over their stomachs. Sho bit his neck as he thrust some more to reach his own peak. Aiba immediately reached for a kiss when Sho spilled everything inside him, he felt full of Sho’s love.
Aiba’s head rested on his lover’s arm as they slowly drifted to sleep, too lazy to clean themselves as they liked the fragrance of sex still lingering around them. “Masaki, do you know butterfly effect?”
“Is it something hard to understand…?” Aiba was already half asleep and didn’t really want to hear about hard things, he would never understood anyway.
“No, butterfly effect is a small change that can make big difference to the whole condition…” He stroke Aiba’s hair slowly as he continued, “That what happened when we think our life is useless and we want to disappear from this world. Just one human, it seems like only a small thing if it’s gone but everything will be different without one soul in this world…”
Sho turned to his lover as he didn’t get any respond and found Aiba was sleeping soundly on his arm which made him smiled to the sight. He brushed his lips to Aiba’s nose tenderly and landed a chaste kiss on his lover’s lips as he whispered, “Night’ Masaki…”
~*~
A/N : Ahhh~ it's nice to post fanfic since I didn't really write anything lately, my RL ate all my time. This story is prompt from the birthday girl although the request only quarrel sakuraiba, fluffy NC and no complicated stuff. But I didn't write NC for long time and it was kind of hard to start again XD
Even so, I hope you guys enjoyed it :)
Author : lovu_lovu_aiba
Beta : andreja1989
Pairing : Sakuraiba
Genre : Romance, angst here and there
Rating : NC17
Disclaimer : The boys aren't mine, I really hope I own them tho XD
Summary : No one was born to be useless so don't ever think to gone from this world. You will never know what will happened to the world without your existence. One soul of human is not a small thing for this world.
Note : For my beloved midorinohana Happy birthday love! :D
I won't write anything sappy atm because I know you will cry like baby and we don't need swollen eyes birthday girl. Just to let you know, I'm glad to have you in my life~ no matter how easy we got into argument as I said, we will be okay and argument showed how close we are to each other, be happy always or I will kill ya if you dare to be sad~ otanjoubi omedetou~~ XD
~*~
There was one thing that Aiba Masaki hated about Sakurai Sho, of course Sho was smart, handsome, kind hearted, mother-hen like that would really, really easily worry about small stuff, small stuff like how pale Nino looks when he dyed his hair into blond and so persistent to ask him to eat half of his bento since Nino looked too skinny for his taste. Or when Ohno looked too dark and Nino looked even paler besides him, he said, ‘stop fishing and make Nino look at least a bit healthy besides you!’ But now Nino was black again, his hair at least, so Ohno was saved from long argument with Sho, mostly Sho argued and Ohno only nodded, sometimes mumbled unrealistic things like Nino could join him so his skin would look darker. Sho argued back with: Nino… is seasick or everything-related-to-sea sick, excluded Ohno Satoshi of course, just because his ass was squeezable.
Of course, he was worried over Aiba also. Aiba was energetic, with a super high tension that couldn’t be turned off, he always smiled, even when he couldn’t breathe properly, even when he was dying, that made Sho even more worried. That was the moment that made Sho realize that he worried about Aiba a bit more than other members, not only when Aiba was sick but also when he talked too much to Nino and made Sho feel like an outsider also when Aiba asked Ohno to dinner with him without offering the same to Sho. That was the time when Sho couldn’t make any difference between worry and jealous, unreasonable desire to touch Aiba’s lips and his very own urge to kiss Aiba, when he couldn’t make any difference between his imagination and love.
He loves Aiba…
Simple but honest.
And Aiba loves him back…
Passionately but no less honest.
Although Aiba really hated to hide their relationship from other members when obviously, people with eyes, who shared the same green room with them, would notice. They were still looking as normal as usual, nothing more than Sho would eyeing Aiba with a very soft gaze, even softer when Aiba laughed to Nino’s joke. So Aiba felt fabricated when Sho rejected to lend his shoulder as Aiba really wanted to sleep or when Sho rejected to kiss him just because Ohno was in the room, sleeping! The more Sho said that it would be better for them to hide it from other members, the more Aiba felt Sho felt embarrassed to date him, ashamed of their relationship. It hurts…
And Aiba couldn’t stand it anymore…
“Let’s break up, Sho-chan…” Aiba finally said as they reached the apartment that they rented, Sho wrote an unbelievable amount of zeroes in his check book to get it because Aiba said he loves to see the scenery so much.
Sho was in utter shock until he didn’t even remember to close the front door as he followed the younger, “What the hell are you talking about Aiba Masaki?! This is not funny! And I’m not breaking up with you!” Sho exclaimed almost shouted at him.
Aiba was being extremely quiet and busied himself to take some water as Sho cornered him to the kitchen table, placed both his hands to the younger’s sides so he couldn’t run away, “What’s gotten into you, Masaki?”
“Sho-chan, please…” he boosted the other away but failed and still trapped between table and the rapper’s body.
“What is it? What did I do?” Sho questioned his lover again as the other stubbornly kept his lips glued. “Is it because I rejected to kiss you?”
Aiba was honest, always so honest, even if he lied or hid something, other people would able see it easily, just like when he answered with a ‘no’ but diverted his gaze, rejected to look back at Sho. “For God’s sake, Masaki! There is someone else there, what if they see?”
Sho almost backed off when he saw the other’s eyes glisten with tears, “What if I don’t care?” The older was ready to argue when Aiba continued, “What if I still want you to kiss me, to hold me even if there is someone else there? What if I don’t care people seeing us?”
“You are not serious…”
“I’m serious Sho-chan! You are the only one who wants to hide us from other members, not me!” Aiba started to struggle from Sho’s embrace.
“I told you my reason! We can’t mix our work with our relationship! I don’t understand why this small matter makes you want to break up with me!”
Aiba’s eyes widened in disbelief, “Small matter? I’m really sorry if my feelings are a small matter for you, I’m really sorry if I feel extremely unconfident to date you, I’m sorry because I never will be good enough for you!”
Sho looked taken a back, “I never feel ashamed to date you…” As his trial to talk calmly to Aiba when he understood perfectly what’s the younger’s problem was, he lowered his voice, “I was the one who confessed, I was the one who asked you to date me, why would I feel ashamed about that?”
“Maybe because you don’t love me…”
“For God’s sake, I love you! Please think realistic, why did I confess to you if I don’t love you?”
A tear ran down Aiba’s cheek and Sho grips harder on the table, Aiba’s tears were one of Sho’s weak points, he couldn’t stand to see it, not when he cried in the Budokan some years back as he told the other members about how grateful he was to be part of Arashi, nor his tears in general because Aiba was always being so Aiba with all melancholic stuff covered by his bright smiles. “Maybe it was a mistake…”
He pushed Sho away and barged to their bedroom as the older ran after him and caught his hand right when Aiba reached to door knob to close the door, “I’m really sorry to be a mistake in your life, Sho-chan! Maybe it would be better if you never met me, maybe even better if I never existed!” Aiba flinched his hand away and closed the door before Sho could do anything, not even to say that Aiba never be anyone’s mistake, that ‘they’ never were a mistake.
Aiba threw himself on the bed and cried, like he used to do whenever he felt hard, sad, happy, he just couldn’t stop being Arashi’s crybaby. The different thing was that he was alone now, while usually he had Sho who would hug him to cast his worries away or Jun who would cry together with him despite his so called DoS side or Nino although he most probably would just hit him on the head and say something like Aiba was being so noisy, even their leader who would only stay there because he didn’t need to do anything to make Aiba feel comfortable around him, but none of them were there.
He buried himself on the bed as a thought crossed his mind, Sho would need to sleep in the couch without a blanket.
And he couldn’t stand cold…
Aiba let out a muffled sigh as he crawled from the bed and dragged the bed cover together with him. He reached the door and opened it slowly, in his own shock, Sho was still flabbergasted behind the door, “Masaki! I’m not break-”
“-ing uppp with you!” his voice fainted under the blanket that Aiba threw to his face as the younger locked himself up again in their room.
Aiba’s slumber wasn’t full of beautiful dream, in fact he kept waking up in the middle of night although he couldn’t remember if he got any nightmare. When he awakened for the nth time that night, he realized that his roistering sleep was because of the loss of Sho’s presence in the very same bed but he shrugged the thoughts away and shut his eyes tightly. There was no more Sho and Masaki… He would vanish from Sho’s life for good…
~*~
Aiba awakened when he heard a familiar snoring beside him and another weird sound that the zookeeper noticed as the sound of gritted teeth. His awareness was back so fast as he threw himself out of the bed. Sho… His gaze wandered and found Sho’s figure on the bed, obviously not even disturbed by Aiba’s sudden commotion. Why did Sho sleep in the room? He made sure to lock the door and even if he didn’t Sho would never barge in, he valued Aiba’s feelings too much and won’t even consider to use spare key to sleep on the bed. But why…?
Aiba needed some more minutes to absorb his surroundings, the first time he noticed was the missing of his picture and Sho in the night stand, then the shape of the table was different, it wasn’t the night stand that he bought together with Sho, he remembered clearly they got into long argument to choose between two and of course Aiba won and Sho gave up on his black and classy night stand. Then Aiba started to realize that he was standing in a different room, he didn’t awake in his apartment with Sho… It wasn’t their wide bedroom with large window that Aiba loved because they lived in 25th floor and the city’s view under them was always so amazing. That window made Aiba blush randomly since for some reasons that Aiba didn’t understand, Sho liked to make love with him near the window, made their bed totally useless. But instead seeing the window he loved, Aiba found a plain and normal looking window, this room for sure was smaller than their bedroom and every single thing was so different with their bed room. Where am I…?
Aiba was at the verge of cring when Sho moved from the bed, lazily rubbed his eyes to drift his sleepiness away. Aiba was too panicked to even remember that Sho was sleeping there, he was sure something bad happened to his head, or maybe some crazy stalkers kidnapped him and Sho?
“Sho-chan…”He whimpered in dread and horror. “Sho-chan, where is this…? What kind of place is this? Why didn’t we sleep in our apartment?”
Sho… Sho always got answer for Aiba’s questions no matter how silly it was but Sho didn’t even answer him. Totally ignoring the younger, he stretched his arms calmly as he rose up. “Sho-chan, I know you are mad but this is not funny… where are we?”
Aiba started to cry when he stomped in front of Sho, who for some reasons looked unable to see Aiba, instead answering or actually looking into the younger in front of him, he continued his stretching. “Sho-chan!” Aiba’s eyes widened when he reached for his lover but instead grasped his arm, Aiba’s hand went through Sho body like it wasn’t solid.
“What happened to me?!” Aiba shrieked in desperation as Sho walked through his body. Did he die…? When? What happened? Why did he die? All the realizations punched Aiba in one go, there were so many things he hadn’t do and he wanted to do, he hasn’t called his family for a long time because of his tight schedule, now he couldn’t even talk to them anymore, nor telling them how much he loved them, and Arashi members… and Sho… The last thing he said to Sho before he died was their relationship was a mistake. So many feelings about Sho bursted out as he bawled his heart out, how patient, understanding, kind and how Sho loved him despite of all Aiba’s selfishness.
Sho was walking out from another room that looked like a bathroom as he busied to dry his hair with white towel. Tears were still running down Aiba’s cheeks as thoughts were spinning around in his head, ‘I didn’t see any light…’ ‘I think we need to follow the light to go to heaven?’ ‘I’m not seeing any angle appearance also…’ ‘Why does no one pick me up if I died? People said if we become a ghost means we still have things to do? What is it? I still have bunch of contracts that haven’t finished yet with VS Arashi, Arashi ni Shiyagare, Himitsu no Arashi-chan, and Tensai! Shimura Doubutsuen though…’
But can we become a ghost because we haven’t finished work’s contract…?
He stared at Sho as the later put on a very ugly suit and a very tacky necktie. Sho didn’t even bother to see mirror and Aiba was sure he didn’t shave for more than a month. Aiba rose up and followed the older, now he was very sure it wasn’t their apartment, did he die for long? Did Sho already move out?
Aiba followed Sho as now he noticed Sho lived in very common apartment and went to office by foot. He could at least drive if no one picked him up, Aiba was wondering, why did the manager let Sho walk to work. What if someone spotted him? But amazingly no one did, no one recognized the guy who walked in front of him was Arashi’s Sakurai Sho. That was weird… because aside from the fact that Sho didn’t shave for a week, every single thing about him was the same, uncovered but people just passed like Sho was… ordinary person. Aiba almost freaked out because a group of high school girls walked the opposite direction with Sho but as a matter of fact none of them even glanced to him. Sho stopped in front of a small bakery and walked in, Aiba kept following his lover since he really had no idea what to do.
“Irrashaimase!” The shopkeeper greeted Sho as Aiba felt his heart sink when he saw the shopkeeper. His eyes were still sleepy and unfocused although his movement not even near to clumsy, he steadily walked around the tables while bringing a tray full of warm breads. “Oh, Sakurai-kun! Coffee?”
Sho nodded as he sat beside a guy with plaid shirt and dingy cap, “As usual, Ohno-kun, thanks!”
He felt the same sensation as the first time he saw Ohno brought a tray full of breads as now he saw the familiar mole on the-nerd-beside-Sho’s chin. “Black coffee before office, your life is plain boring, Sho-san…”
“I don’t want to hear it from an otaku like you, Nino!”
Nino shrugged, “At least my job needs creativity and is really adventurous.”
“Please… you are just game programmer…”
“And you are just boring employee, Sho-san…”
“Boys, boys… no need to be that worked up in the morning, here is your dark coffee, Sakurai-kun…” Ohno placed a cup of black coffee in front of Sho as he continued, “without sugar…”
Sho smiled to the older, “Thanks!”
Shopkeeper…? Game programmer? Employee? What the hell do they talk about?
They didn’t continue Arashi after he died? Was he dead for that long…? But they still looked like usual, early thirties men. What happened?
“Did you guys meet MatsuJun lately? I didn’t see him stop by to eat breakfast here, lately…” Nino raised his eyebrow as the way he asked to Ohno and Sho.
“I heard he got job outside Tokyo, I will meet him tonight though, want to join?” Sho answered as he checked his watch. “Crap, I need to go now! So? Nino? Ohno-kun?”
“Text us the time and place, we will see…” Nino answered as he slurped his cappuccino. Sho nodded hurriedly as he ran out the café while mumbled incoherent ittekimasu, both Ohno and Nino answered lazily.
Feverishly Aiba followed Sho as the later breathlessly caught up the queue to enter the bus. Aiba was standing invisible between people, at least he didn’t consume the bus’s cramped space that way. After some bus stops, Sho escaped from the crowded bus and walked to a big building, a publisher company. Some people with weary face greeted Sho as he entered his office and sat down in a messed room. He picked up a magazine from his desk and opened the pages randomly, Aiba could see it was an idol magazine and there were so many Johnny’s artists there. So if the agency still existed why didn’t they continue? Aiba really had no clue about what had happened actually. He saw so many groups he knew, mostly juniors of Arashi, KAT-TUN, Kis-My-Ft2, Sexy Zone, but no trace of Hey! Say! JUMP at all. Sho reached his phone as he speaks rapidly to the other person in the end of the line, “…just use other picture, they looked better in that one, okay? I will leave it to you then!”
He threw the magazine above his table as he started to drown himself into other papers. Aiba gazed to his lover as his heart felt warmer, Sho always worked hard no matter what, no matter he was an idol or a head editor, he wouldn’t do his job half heartedly. Aiba felt the wave of proud feelings toward his lover and the urge to touch Sho’s cheek. He moved closer and tried but of course his hand just gone through Sho’s face. He felt the sting on his heart as tears started to flood his face, “What am I supposed to do, Sho-chan? What happened to me? What happened to us?” Sadly Mr. I-know-everything couldn’t even hear his question and Aiba was giving up to talk to Sho.
Aiba spent that day inside Sho’s office since the older didn’t leave his office at all, he even made his subordinate to buy lunch for him. Sho left office when he got a call from MatsuJun as he earlier got a call from Nino who informed him that he and Ohno would join the dinner. The sun was completely set when Sho reached a small restaurant, he entered and immediately asked a table for four, Aiba felt another sting in his heart… Table for four…
Sho rejected politely when a waiter asked his order and told her he was still waiting for friends, the waiter bowed deeply before leaving Sho. After the waiter gone Sho made Aiba startled by pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, absent mindedly he opened it slowly and stared at it. The younger moved closer to see what did Sho read when he caught Ohno’s familiar scratch on it, he felt his cheek wet because of the tears as he recognized the guy in the picture, there was no doubt that it was Aiba… Sho brought his drawing…
The chief editor flinched when a hand grasped on his shoulder lightly, “Oh please Sho… not that drawings again!”
“Hi too, Jun!” Sho hastily folded the paper and put it inside his pocket again.
“Say, it’s Ohno-kun’s drawing right?”
Sho nodded, “yes, great as usual…”
“Please Sho-san! We all know you bring that paper everywhere not because it’s great!” He rolled his eyes as started to read the menu book. There was no replication from Sho as he chose to stare blankly to his shoes.
“You better start thinking about getting a wife than your imaginary friend.”
“He is not an imaginary friend Jun!” Sho retorted, “You won’t understand! I know he might be only existing in my head and my dream but I can’t stop the feeling that he is important…”
Jun sighed as he replied calmly, “What kind of important?”
“Like… like… if my life is a puzzle then he is the last piece of puzzle that can complete everything, I can’t stop that feeling… that somehow… somehow… that guy is important… although he never existed… I always feel that there is a hole in my heart and by remembering that guy that hole was gone…” Sho took a deep breath, “You think I’m crazy…”
Jun nodded, “Kind of…” He stared at Sho intensely as he continued, “I know it was a bad decision to let Ohno-kun draw your imaginary friend for you…”
“I told you he is not my-”
“Hey! Sorry we are late!” Nino interrupted the heated conversation by his appearance with Ohno, “Did you bring me anything from Osaka, MatsuJun? And don’t give me your photographs, I have enough of it!”
Jun threw some snacks to Nino as the older sat down beside Sho while Ohno positioned himself besides Nino and him. Jun didn’t bring up the conversation about the imaginary guy during the dinner, while Aiba stood near with them, invisible, forgotten and might be never existed…
Never existed…
Aiba shivered when he blurry recalled his last conversation with Sho, “…Maybe it would be better if you never met me, maybe even better if I never existed!”
He grasped his heart as the realization filled his head, he wished to be gone for good and he has disappeared from the world for real. This was the world without Aiba Masaki… If he was never born, Arashi won’t form… that’s why Ohno, Nino, Jun and Sho had different jobs, that’s why Sho lived in different apartment, that’s why there is no Hey! Say! JUMP in the magazine. Chinen joined the agency because he liked Ohno, but Arashi never formed nor debuted so he never tried to join, and if Chinen didn’t enter the agency then there is no Hey! Say! JUMP. Why did everything needed to be connected to each other and Aiba felt like a jerk that ruined the balance of the world.
He stared at Sho who was busy to talk about a column on his magazine and offered Jun to fill in since it was about photography. Sho…
Sho-chan…
The only one who remembered about him although he was never born… Sho never changed… he was still hard working as he was in Arashi and he still treasured Aiba deep down in his heart… Aiba tried to wipe his tears away but it just won’t to stop…
What did he do when he still had Sho for himself, when he could talk to him, when he could touch him… he complained about small stuff, threw anger to him, broke up with him although Sho rejected whole heartedly… He has hurt Sho… He has hurt him yet Sho still loved him… He wanted to touch Sho, he wanted to tell him about how grateful he was to love him and to be loved by him… he wanted to tell Sho how much he loved him…
Jun was back from rest room when he informed that he paid the dinner already and it was his treat, Aiba sniffed. It was so Jun…
He didn’t change either, they didn’t change at all, the only thing that different is there was no Aiba’s presence between them…
They called it a day not long after that and went separate paths outside the restaurant. Aiba followed Sho as he thought he would do this for the rest of his life, how long he would live anyway? Would there be an end of this nonexistence life?
Aiba smiled when Sho pulled out his drawing again and stared at it while walking slowly. Aiba’s mind was too preoccupied with other stuff as Sho slowly crossed the street. There was a loud horn of car and glinted of light, Aiba tried to reach and pulled Sho but his not solid hand went through Sho’s body, he grasped nothing but air and the bright light blinded his eyes, “SHO-CHAN!!!”
“SHO-CHAN!! SHO-CHAN!!”
Aiba closed his eyes tightly, he didn’t want to see it… he didn’t want to see it! He just screamed, screamed Sho’s name again and again… Because he would reply… That accident was just a nightmare, “SHO-CHAN!!”
Sho-chan please… don’t leave me…
“SHO-CHAN!”
There were footsteps and the sound of unlocked door, not long after Aiba felt a pair of firm arms embrace him tightly. “Masaki?! What happened? Masaki, I’m here…”
The familiar scent filled his lungs and brought Aiba back to senses, “Sho-chan…”
“Yes, yes, I’m here…”
He grasped on Sho, he could feel his warm skin, he could touch Sho, he could feel Sho’s warmth that wraps him, protected him from wreck. Aiba opened his eyes slowly and found Sho was staring at him, terror and worry projected from his eyes.
“Sho-chan… Sho-chan…”
“What is it, love? Bad dream?”
Aiba threw himself to Sho as he attempted to feel Sho more, his hands roamed to the rapper’s body and cupped his face, before Sho opened his lips to ask more Aiba covered it with his. “Sho-chan, I’m sorry! I’m stupid and egoist! I love you! I really do love you!”
Sho stunned, couldn’t really follow where their conversation lead to, “I love you too, you know it…”
“I love you, Sho-chan… I love you…” Sho frowned when obviously Aiba started to cry again.
“I know, Masaki… now tell me about your dream…” He patted his lover’s back as he brought them to lay on the bed.
“It was not a dream! I wasn’t born but I was there and you had different life, you weren’t idol and there was no Hey! Say! JUMP because we never debuted but you had my picture! Although you supposed to never have met me because I never existed!”
Sho almost laughed if he didn’t notice that his lover was being deadly serious. “Okay, can you breathe while telling me your dream? Slowly…”
Aiba nodded, “Can you hug me?”
“I’m hugging you, Masaki…”
“Tighter… please?”
Sho closed their distances as Aiba started to tell him everything, he insisted it wasn’t a dream as Sho only nodded to calm him down. “…Then suddenly there was a car… With full speed it ran to you and I tried to reach you! To pull you back but I couldn’t touch you! Sho-chan… I-I…”
“Shhh… it’s okay, it’s okay, I understand…”
“I don’t want to disappear from your life…”
Sho chuckled as he kissed Aiba’s forehead tenderly, “Neither do I… Everything is okay now… let’s sleep…”
But the younger seemed to have different plan, Aiba drew random pattern on Sho’s chest as he whispered, “Sho-chan… can we do it?”
“Nnn? Do what?”
He pulled Sho into another kiss and when he licked the rapper’s lower lip, Sho got the full idea what was the meaning of Aiba’s ‘it’. “We have shooting in the morning…”
“Please?”
“Masaki…”
“Please, Sho-chan, please…?”
Sho sighed as closed their distance again but now aggressively pinned the younger under his body, locked him in his arms. He never voiced it out because he knew Aiba would be mad at him but sometimes he thought Aiba was more fragile than crystal glass, when Sho got distracted by something, even just a bit, Aiba would broke down. Sometimes Sho was afraid to touch him more because of that, he didn’t want to be Aiba’s reason for sadness. But Aiba was strong, when everything felt so wrong for Sho, he just needed to embrace Aiba and every single worries faded away, Aiba made him stand still when his world somersaulted.
He looked down and found his lover’s brown eyes stare back at him, Aiba’s smile spread as he said an inaudible ‘I love you’. Sho was defeated; he kissed those lips, to seize the words from his owner. Sometimes Sho still couldn’t believe that Aiba loved him back, he always treated people equally, loved people equally until Sho wanted to be selfish and locked Aiba up, owned his love for him only. He kissed Aiba’s cheek and then moved further down to his neck, collarbone and chest. Sho let out a giggle when he felt Aiba’s body tensed as he moved lower and ended his kisses campaign on Aiba’s inner thigh. Sho fisted Aiba’s shaft when he felt his hand on Sho’s shoulder, resisting him for doing any further. Sho stared at him in confusion as Aiba answered his unspoken question, “Use your lips to kiss here only, Sho-chan…” Aiba said as he put his finger to his lips. Without the need for further requests Sho gummed their lips together again and started to explore the other’s cavity with his tongue.
Sho was so familiar with the body under him, he knew which part to touch first, which one more sensitive than other that would make Aiba make a sexy voice deep down in his throat. He also knew the best angle that would make resisting moans became pleasure screams. Usually Aiba would bite his lower lip if he felt good when he had sex, but ‘good’ can never satisfy Sho, he rested Aiba’s thigh on his shoulder as he now targeted to one spot.
“Ahh! Sho-chan!” Sho knew he hit the right spot when Aiba grasped on his back painfully, or when Sho felt even more tightness around him, or when Aiba closed his eyes and started to chant Sho’s name from his parted lips. Call him maniac but Sho loved it, he loved it when he was the only one that filled up Aiba’s mind and the only one who Aiba could see.
“Sho-Sho, Sho-chan… I-I…” Sho saw how Aiba’s head sank into the fluffy pillow and the way he arched his back that made impossible for Sho to move anymore when Aiba came all over their stomachs. Sho bit his neck as he thrust some more to reach his own peak. Aiba immediately reached for a kiss when Sho spilled everything inside him, he felt full of Sho’s love.
Aiba’s head rested on his lover’s arm as they slowly drifted to sleep, too lazy to clean themselves as they liked the fragrance of sex still lingering around them. “Masaki, do you know butterfly effect?”
“Is it something hard to understand…?” Aiba was already half asleep and didn’t really want to hear about hard things, he would never understood anyway.
“No, butterfly effect is a small change that can make big difference to the whole condition…” He stroke Aiba’s hair slowly as he continued, “That what happened when we think our life is useless and we want to disappear from this world. Just one human, it seems like only a small thing if it’s gone but everything will be different without one soul in this world…”
Sho turned to his lover as he didn’t get any respond and found Aiba was sleeping soundly on his arm which made him smiled to the sight. He brushed his lips to Aiba’s nose tenderly and landed a chaste kiss on his lover’s lips as he whispered, “Night’ Masaki…”
~*~
A/N : Ahhh~ it's nice to post fanfic since I didn't really write anything lately, my RL ate all my time. This story is prompt from the birthday girl although the request only quarrel sakuraiba, fluffy NC and no complicated stuff. But I didn't write NC for long time and it was kind of hard to start again XD
Even so, I hope you guys enjoyed it :)