[completed] Beyond The Bet (Side Story of The Bet) 5/5
Nino’s POV
I was a substitute, there was no doubt about that and I was the one who offered myself to him in the first place. If I said there was no love between us that truly hurtful for me, so I used the term that he loved me in different way, that he wanted me to stay beside him, until he didn’t need a substitute anymore. The condition that I selfishly hoped not to come, but as I expected, it came to us. The moment when Aiba left Sho, I understood that it was the time to back off, even more when he cried for Sho. It wasn’t a jealousy… It was a reality… A substitute would never get first place in his heart…
Ohno was always too nice and full of consideration, he just didn’t show it that much. He thought about everything thoroughly, dwelled every single feeling that involved in the problem. So when he chase after me, I tried not to bring my hope too high because he was just being considerate like usual. Ohno just didn’t want me to be hurt and noticed it was hurtful enough for me. It was hard for me to end everything with him as the longer I spent my time with him, the more my feelings were sprouting lushly. Forgetting about my position and his feeling to get whatever I want. It was easy for me to stay beside him and kept take advantage from him, but the longer I stayed with him the more questions appeared on my head. Will he be happy to be with me? Will he love me someday? Is it not too egoist of me?
I was egoist… whenever I did something I didn’t even understand it was for my personal benefit or for people around me. When I pushed Sho into a game I knew it was because I cared about him, that I knew he would never move if I didn’t do anything, and I knew Aiba needed his help. But after I knew Ohno’s feeling… did I really feel sorry to push Sho into relationship just like what I said to Ohno? Or I felt amazingly relieved because I could fill the hole Sho left? Did I pray for Sho and Aiba to be happy for their sake of my feeling’s sake? Because Ohno would never leave me if Aiba and Sho were together… The more I thought about it the more I felt no more than a jerk.
I wanted Aiba and Sho to be happy, I wanted Ohno to be happy more than anything, but was it wrong if I want to be happy also? Ohno would say no… and for that he would stay by my side.
I didn’t understand, was it love that made me called it over between me and him? Was it love that made me stay beside him as friend? What is love anyway?
Maybe it was love when I saw Aiba wandered around city hand in hand with Jun some years after he left Sho, as when I saw his smile I couldn’t bring myself to tell Sho about it. Aiba was happy, with other man, with someone that most probably was unthinkable by us, Jun. So I tried my best to support Sho and his lifeless life as a sacrifice to see Aiba’s happiness. There were so many times I almost spilled everything to Sho because I wanted to see the shimmer of his eyes back, I knew if I told him about Aiba I could see he was alive again. But was it fair for Aiba? Was it means I love Aiba?
I saw Ohno’s wish to see Sho back to normal disappeared together with mine, the only thing he could do was just accompany him just like me… We met, regularly; ate dinner, drank, talked about our jobs, saw how empty Sho’s eyes were when he forgot to try faking his smiles to us and I needed to remind myself that it was for Aiba’s sake. Years passed, sometimes I thought that one of us would settle with someone soon although I didn’t date, so did Sho, and Ohno… He didn’t date anyone nor try to reach Sho’s heart. Sometime I caught he stared at me and didn’t even try to hide it when I caught him up, he instead stared even more intensely to me… That sometime I shrugged it off with ‘is there anything on my face?’ question.
But out of nowhere, after 6 years, Sho found Aiba, and found out that he was together with Jun. I was shocked when I got his message, because Jun hid him perfectly for 6 years, why now it discovered? As I expected, Sho’s light was back and I guessed Ohno noticed it as much as it looked so clear for me. I didn’t believe in destiny but I couldn’t make any more explanation about it, it was destiny for them to meet, that it was their fate to be together, no matter how hard people around them tried to break them up, it was unbroken fate. Another shocking thing for me was Ohno’s call, he never called me for 6 years after we end everything, but that day he did, “Nino, it’s not a coincident… We need to talk to Aiba… If you are Sho’s friend then let’s fight for his love together…”
As much as how Sho’s love for Aiba didn’t change, I could see the same thing clearly from Aiba’s eyes. He was just as naïve as before, his eyes still radiated kindness and innocence, something that I would never have. Although he always said, “Nino is warm and kind…” that until now I didn’t understand what the reason brought him to praise me that high. Talking with him opened my eyes that there was something that couldn’t be change for years, he might be naïve but his love for Sho was honest and eternal, made me think if my decision to not letting Sho knew about for years was a good resolution or not.
“Sho will leave for a month only, you didn’t tell him that…” Ohno broke our silent walk.
I couldn’t help but smirk, “We don’t need to tell Aiba the whole things… Just the things needed to be told and left the details for him to find himself.”
Ohno smiled nonetheless, I didn’t see him smile at me for years and couldn’t stop stupid butterflies flied on my stomach, “You never change…”
“Don’t talk like you never meet me, we talk regularly,” I rolled his eyes on his words. “And don’t you think it’s good for us to not easily change because shit happens?”
He nodded, looked deep in thought, “Yes, I guess…”
“Seeing he struggled with his love I don’t want to regret everything… Do you have any regrets in your life Oh-chan?”
He smiled and answered composedly, “Of course I do, like how stupid I was to not make any move on you earlier, or how foolish I was to not tell you earlier that I love you…”
Did I just hear the three words and eight letters that I never got from him?
He looked at me with his unreadable gaze as he reached my cheek lightly, his hand felt so warm against my skin, “I love you, Kazu…”
“Everything might be change, but I still love you…” He patted my head tenderly, “Sayonara… Kazunari…”
His back was moving further, out of my reach… yet I couldn’t find any courage to run after him. I felt my tears ran down on my cheeks as they freeze immediately because the cold temperature. There were people who fated to be together, there were people who fated to be in love in wrong time…
Satoshi… I hoped we weren’t the second one…
~*~
A/N : Finally~ finally I managed to finish this fic! I posted first chapter in October 2010 and I finished it in 2012... what a long time, I'm really really sorry!
I tried to write again and again but I kept delete the file because the reason I didn't even understand...
About Nino and Ohno in this fic maybe you didn't understand how was it so complicated between them, they loved each other and all anyway? But don't you think sometimes love only is not enough? They weren't Sho and Aiba who would really honest with their feelings (although it took years for Sho to be honest with his feelings) and they had different persective to see things. At least that what I wanted to show to you from this fic :)
I have a plan to write the epilogue of the whole The Bet saga :D
One more and everything will be ended, let me know if you want me to write something in the epilogue! I will see what can I do later ^^
Jya~ see you soon guys ^.^v
I was a substitute, there was no doubt about that and I was the one who offered myself to him in the first place. If I said there was no love between us that truly hurtful for me, so I used the term that he loved me in different way, that he wanted me to stay beside him, until he didn’t need a substitute anymore. The condition that I selfishly hoped not to come, but as I expected, it came to us. The moment when Aiba left Sho, I understood that it was the time to back off, even more when he cried for Sho. It wasn’t a jealousy… It was a reality… A substitute would never get first place in his heart…
Ohno was always too nice and full of consideration, he just didn’t show it that much. He thought about everything thoroughly, dwelled every single feeling that involved in the problem. So when he chase after me, I tried not to bring my hope too high because he was just being considerate like usual. Ohno just didn’t want me to be hurt and noticed it was hurtful enough for me. It was hard for me to end everything with him as the longer I spent my time with him, the more my feelings were sprouting lushly. Forgetting about my position and his feeling to get whatever I want. It was easy for me to stay beside him and kept take advantage from him, but the longer I stayed with him the more questions appeared on my head. Will he be happy to be with me? Will he love me someday? Is it not too egoist of me?
I was egoist… whenever I did something I didn’t even understand it was for my personal benefit or for people around me. When I pushed Sho into a game I knew it was because I cared about him, that I knew he would never move if I didn’t do anything, and I knew Aiba needed his help. But after I knew Ohno’s feeling… did I really feel sorry to push Sho into relationship just like what I said to Ohno? Or I felt amazingly relieved because I could fill the hole Sho left? Did I pray for Sho and Aiba to be happy for their sake of my feeling’s sake? Because Ohno would never leave me if Aiba and Sho were together… The more I thought about it the more I felt no more than a jerk.
I wanted Aiba and Sho to be happy, I wanted Ohno to be happy more than anything, but was it wrong if I want to be happy also? Ohno would say no… and for that he would stay by my side.
I didn’t understand, was it love that made me called it over between me and him? Was it love that made me stay beside him as friend? What is love anyway?
Maybe it was love when I saw Aiba wandered around city hand in hand with Jun some years after he left Sho, as when I saw his smile I couldn’t bring myself to tell Sho about it. Aiba was happy, with other man, with someone that most probably was unthinkable by us, Jun. So I tried my best to support Sho and his lifeless life as a sacrifice to see Aiba’s happiness. There were so many times I almost spilled everything to Sho because I wanted to see the shimmer of his eyes back, I knew if I told him about Aiba I could see he was alive again. But was it fair for Aiba? Was it means I love Aiba?
I saw Ohno’s wish to see Sho back to normal disappeared together with mine, the only thing he could do was just accompany him just like me… We met, regularly; ate dinner, drank, talked about our jobs, saw how empty Sho’s eyes were when he forgot to try faking his smiles to us and I needed to remind myself that it was for Aiba’s sake. Years passed, sometimes I thought that one of us would settle with someone soon although I didn’t date, so did Sho, and Ohno… He didn’t date anyone nor try to reach Sho’s heart. Sometime I caught he stared at me and didn’t even try to hide it when I caught him up, he instead stared even more intensely to me… That sometime I shrugged it off with ‘is there anything on my face?’ question.
But out of nowhere, after 6 years, Sho found Aiba, and found out that he was together with Jun. I was shocked when I got his message, because Jun hid him perfectly for 6 years, why now it discovered? As I expected, Sho’s light was back and I guessed Ohno noticed it as much as it looked so clear for me. I didn’t believe in destiny but I couldn’t make any more explanation about it, it was destiny for them to meet, that it was their fate to be together, no matter how hard people around them tried to break them up, it was unbroken fate. Another shocking thing for me was Ohno’s call, he never called me for 6 years after we end everything, but that day he did, “Nino, it’s not a coincident… We need to talk to Aiba… If you are Sho’s friend then let’s fight for his love together…”
As much as how Sho’s love for Aiba didn’t change, I could see the same thing clearly from Aiba’s eyes. He was just as naïve as before, his eyes still radiated kindness and innocence, something that I would never have. Although he always said, “Nino is warm and kind…” that until now I didn’t understand what the reason brought him to praise me that high. Talking with him opened my eyes that there was something that couldn’t be change for years, he might be naïve but his love for Sho was honest and eternal, made me think if my decision to not letting Sho knew about for years was a good resolution or not.
“Sho will leave for a month only, you didn’t tell him that…” Ohno broke our silent walk.
I couldn’t help but smirk, “We don’t need to tell Aiba the whole things… Just the things needed to be told and left the details for him to find himself.”
Ohno smiled nonetheless, I didn’t see him smile at me for years and couldn’t stop stupid butterflies flied on my stomach, “You never change…”
“Don’t talk like you never meet me, we talk regularly,” I rolled his eyes on his words. “And don’t you think it’s good for us to not easily change because shit happens?”
He nodded, looked deep in thought, “Yes, I guess…”
“Seeing he struggled with his love I don’t want to regret everything… Do you have any regrets in your life Oh-chan?”
He smiled and answered composedly, “Of course I do, like how stupid I was to not make any move on you earlier, or how foolish I was to not tell you earlier that I love you…”
Did I just hear the three words and eight letters that I never got from him?
He looked at me with his unreadable gaze as he reached my cheek lightly, his hand felt so warm against my skin, “I love you, Kazu…”
“Everything might be change, but I still love you…” He patted my head tenderly, “Sayonara… Kazunari…”
His back was moving further, out of my reach… yet I couldn’t find any courage to run after him. I felt my tears ran down on my cheeks as they freeze immediately because the cold temperature. There were people who fated to be together, there were people who fated to be in love in wrong time…
Satoshi… I hoped we weren’t the second one…
~*~
A/N : Finally~ finally I managed to finish this fic! I posted first chapter in October 2010 and I finished it in 2012... what a long time, I'm really really sorry!
I tried to write again and again but I kept delete the file because the reason I didn't even understand...
About Nino and Ohno in this fic maybe you didn't understand how was it so complicated between them, they loved each other and all anyway? But don't you think sometimes love only is not enough? They weren't Sho and Aiba who would really honest with their feelings (although it took years for Sho to be honest with his feelings) and they had different persective to see things. At least that what I wanted to show to you from this fic :)
I have a plan to write the epilogue of the whole The Bet saga :D
One more and everything will be ended, let me know if you want me to write something in the epilogue! I will see what can I do later ^^
Jya~ see you soon guys ^.^v