(no subject)

[crumpetmlp]

I know it's been eons since I've been around, but I have been itching to get back online and check on everything. I hope everyone is okay and that you haven't all forgotten about me. I have definately not forgotten about any of you, you all have had such an impact on my life when things were not their best. I am such a different person today, and I am sorry I have shyed away so much that most of you never even saw the changes I have gone through. I feel like for the first time in my life I am ME. I feel like for the first time in my life that I want something because of the fact that I am ME. Problem is I feel like I have waited so long I have lost some of the chances I should have taken. When is it too late? Is there ever a time where you have to tell yourself you can't go back? I am 26 now, and have a 6 year old daughter. I have an okay job, but it's NOT a career by any means. It bothers me like a thorn in my side. I think about it night and day - and why do I sit here and let life pass me by knowing that every morning I have the power to get up and say that I am done wasting my life away? What in the hell is holding me back....this I can't figure out. I am starting to feel like I want to settle down, but how can I if my career is totally unsettled? I want my own family, I want to be married, I want this so much but feel afraid and that I'll never have it because I can't get my career together. What do I do? I should answer this myself, but I can't seem to find the answer that I'm looking for. That or I already know and just won't admit to it. I have so much more I'll talk about that is bringing me to this...I just hope someone is out there to listen and give me some advice. I don't want to be depressed when I shouldn't be. I finally have myself back and I don't want to lose it again.

Oh and when is it a good time TO settle down? I mean get married, and how long should you be with someone before you decide to actually marry? I'm curious as Im faced with a situation.

Thanks all,

Heather