Rhododendron Taxicabs
The feeling of neglecting LJ and using writing as a way to express my inner thoughts has been bugging me lately, so while I'm at work I'm going to try and "blog" a little. Even though this is NOT a blog. And as I went to the back room to get a glass of water, I realized that I preface nearly evry LJ entry the same. How original. What's wrong with me. Why do I feel the need to apologize about my boring prefaces? Because I want to be remembered as original. Creative. A decent writer, and when I cop out and preface my entries like I just did, I guess I feel as if I'm just saying the same thing over and over again. But it's shit to get down on yourself. So here's some writing from my brain.
It's Summer Reading Kickoff today, our theme is "Catch the Reading Bug." I'm wearing my library-issued "uniform" which is a bright green t-shirt with cartoon bugs reading on it. This will make getting dressed on Fridays easy, I tell you what.
Despite that preface, it is true. LJ is what I use when I have thoughts that need to be put down so they don't explode in my brain. So basically what I want to put down here is my thoughts and dreams about trying LSD. Acid. L. 'cid. Whatever you call it, I want to try it. I've wanted to try it for over a decade, and with the passing of ALbert Hoffman, I feel it is TIME.
I feel that I'm in a good mental place to trip on acid right now. The only thing really worrying me is gas prices, and now that I've made peace with the idea of taking a "stay-cation" it just pisses me off more than worries me. Thank the Great Magnet for the Volkswagen. If I didn 't have Franz to cart around in I'd be screwed.
I also need to get both cars in for checkups. That's more money trouble. But money is so...absurd to me. Paper and metal tokens that we exchange for the shit we absolutley must have, and even the shit that we only want. Like that block of foam papers I bought. Wtf, Crumbs? I just wanted to cut up colors that day, and it was only a dollar, so what the fuck.
But I digress. THis post is about how I'm READY and in a good mental place to trip on LSD. I just need the materials, time, and place. I have the place (my house) and I can get the time, it's just the materials that we must procure. Chester has a connection out West, but we haven't heard from them yet. I've been praying to God/Jesus/Great Magnet everyday with thanks and praise, hoping that my good graces will enchant the spirits enough to have this drug trip fantasy become a reality.
Yes, we experienced Morning GLory seeds, but that was relatively expensive and GROSS. The only way I'll do that again is putting the stuff into gelcaps. All in all, it would probably take about $17 (estimate) to trip on the seeds. And that's assuming I can get at least 10 packages and a bottle of echinacea or other cheap herb that I can sadly *waste* just to get the capsules. It's stupid pricey to buy empty capsules, and you have to wait for them to arrive, and you have to buy a shitload that would last the greatest vitamin nut until they died of some ironic health realted cause.
But devil LSD, the elusive bastard I have searched and longed for since I was in the 7th grade, is much cheaper. And less time consuming. The last time I attempted to trip on the seeds I put the powder in capsules, but NOTHING happened. I'm not sure if it was the seeds or the setting, but it was a total waste. At least with chewing a little piece of paper you don't have the wicked grit and taste of the dreaded MG powder.
I'm not afraid of death, I've dealt with my past, and I am somewhat mentally stable unless provoked before going to work. This leads me to believe that I'm in a good place to trip. I've read reports of other mentally ill people taking acid and not going "permanently crazy" even though that is a fearful possibility I'm choosing not to entertain. I've tripped on LSA, technically twice but really only once, and I made it through. My biggest concern is that I weigh more than I did when originally tripping in 2005. I'm not sure if I"ll need more because of this or not. We shall see.
I keep wanting to write something really meaningful and deep, but when I am pondering thoughts in my mind, I'm never somewhere where I can jot the ideas and musings down. I used to carry a mini notebook with me, but I just haven't felt creative in my writing for a long time. In the middle of the day I will get these intense bursts of self-awareness and little "truth bubbles" come from the heavens and pop on my head. But when this happens it seems the closer I get to writing down what's happening, the thoughts and ideas fade away. It's very frustrating, and probably the greatest source of sadness for me.
I used to be able sit down at a keyboard and just weild my authorative power, but not lately. I think I'm just not making time for it. I haven't been really inspired, but I feel that taking a deep mental journey might wake something up inside of me that was alive in 2005. That was an amazing year, and because I succumbed to my mental illness, everytthing went down the tubes- my health, my weight, everything. But there is still a little part of me that is not conquered by the changes, I am working on returning to my 2005 self, it is just a slow process.
I sincerely feel that taking an lsd trip might give me a feeling of renewal and a newfound feeling of being AWAKE. And aware. I'm intensely AWARE of what is going on in this world, yet I'm not AWAKE enough to attack at the wrongs and make them feel right. Gas, politics, fucking elections, there will be another Great Depression, and things are going to get BAD. I intend on exiting the planet if things get too horrible, but for now I'm just going to enjoy the "calm" before the storm.
I need to get to work because the chillens are arriving, but I just want to document one last thing. Icky Thump by the White Stripes is the greatest album of Summer 2008. I know it came out last year, and I feel shamefully out of the loop, but THIS is the time I was supposed to discover Icky Thump. Last weekend, Chester and I were sitting outside and smoking on a warm evening when we saw the Icky Thump BUG! I swear, there was this bug who was dancing to the White Stripes. During the slower songs he took off, but as soon as Meg started smashing the drums, back he came to dance on the lantern lights! It was truly amazing. Chester tried to document the occaision, but to no avail. Maybe this weekend.
Anyway, it's mad busy now, so ADIOS!
It's Summer Reading Kickoff today, our theme is "Catch the Reading Bug." I'm wearing my library-issued "uniform" which is a bright green t-shirt with cartoon bugs reading on it. This will make getting dressed on Fridays easy, I tell you what.
Despite that preface, it is true. LJ is what I use when I have thoughts that need to be put down so they don't explode in my brain. So basically what I want to put down here is my thoughts and dreams about trying LSD. Acid. L. 'cid. Whatever you call it, I want to try it. I've wanted to try it for over a decade, and with the passing of ALbert Hoffman, I feel it is TIME.
I feel that I'm in a good mental place to trip on acid right now. The only thing really worrying me is gas prices, and now that I've made peace with the idea of taking a "stay-cation" it just pisses me off more than worries me. Thank the Great Magnet for the Volkswagen. If I didn 't have Franz to cart around in I'd be screwed.
I also need to get both cars in for checkups. That's more money trouble. But money is so...absurd to me. Paper and metal tokens that we exchange for the shit we absolutley must have, and even the shit that we only want. Like that block of foam papers I bought. Wtf, Crumbs? I just wanted to cut up colors that day, and it was only a dollar, so what the fuck.
But I digress. THis post is about how I'm READY and in a good mental place to trip on LSD. I just need the materials, time, and place. I have the place (my house) and I can get the time, it's just the materials that we must procure. Chester has a connection out West, but we haven't heard from them yet. I've been praying to God/Jesus/Great Magnet everyday with thanks and praise, hoping that my good graces will enchant the spirits enough to have this drug trip fantasy become a reality.
Yes, we experienced Morning GLory seeds, but that was relatively expensive and GROSS. The only way I'll do that again is putting the stuff into gelcaps. All in all, it would probably take about $17 (estimate) to trip on the seeds. And that's assuming I can get at least 10 packages and a bottle of echinacea or other cheap herb that I can sadly *waste* just to get the capsules. It's stupid pricey to buy empty capsules, and you have to wait for them to arrive, and you have to buy a shitload that would last the greatest vitamin nut until they died of some ironic health realted cause.
But devil LSD, the elusive bastard I have searched and longed for since I was in the 7th grade, is much cheaper. And less time consuming. The last time I attempted to trip on the seeds I put the powder in capsules, but NOTHING happened. I'm not sure if it was the seeds or the setting, but it was a total waste. At least with chewing a little piece of paper you don't have the wicked grit and taste of the dreaded MG powder.
I'm not afraid of death, I've dealt with my past, and I am somewhat mentally stable unless provoked before going to work. This leads me to believe that I'm in a good place to trip. I've read reports of other mentally ill people taking acid and not going "permanently crazy" even though that is a fearful possibility I'm choosing not to entertain. I've tripped on LSA, technically twice but really only once, and I made it through. My biggest concern is that I weigh more than I did when originally tripping in 2005. I'm not sure if I"ll need more because of this or not. We shall see.
I keep wanting to write something really meaningful and deep, but when I am pondering thoughts in my mind, I'm never somewhere where I can jot the ideas and musings down. I used to carry a mini notebook with me, but I just haven't felt creative in my writing for a long time. In the middle of the day I will get these intense bursts of self-awareness and little "truth bubbles" come from the heavens and pop on my head. But when this happens it seems the closer I get to writing down what's happening, the thoughts and ideas fade away. It's very frustrating, and probably the greatest source of sadness for me.
I used to be able sit down at a keyboard and just weild my authorative power, but not lately. I think I'm just not making time for it. I haven't been really inspired, but I feel that taking a deep mental journey might wake something up inside of me that was alive in 2005. That was an amazing year, and because I succumbed to my mental illness, everytthing went down the tubes- my health, my weight, everything. But there is still a little part of me that is not conquered by the changes, I am working on returning to my 2005 self, it is just a slow process.
I sincerely feel that taking an lsd trip might give me a feeling of renewal and a newfound feeling of being AWAKE. And aware. I'm intensely AWARE of what is going on in this world, yet I'm not AWAKE enough to attack at the wrongs and make them feel right. Gas, politics, fucking elections, there will be another Great Depression, and things are going to get BAD. I intend on exiting the planet if things get too horrible, but for now I'm just going to enjoy the "calm" before the storm.
I need to get to work because the chillens are arriving, but I just want to document one last thing. Icky Thump by the White Stripes is the greatest album of Summer 2008. I know it came out last year, and I feel shamefully out of the loop, but THIS is the time I was supposed to discover Icky Thump. Last weekend, Chester and I were sitting outside and smoking on a warm evening when we saw the Icky Thump BUG! I swear, there was this bug who was dancing to the White Stripes. During the slower songs he took off, but as soon as Meg started smashing the drums, back he came to dance on the lantern lights! It was truly amazing. Chester tried to document the occaision, but to no avail. Maybe this weekend.
Anyway, it's mad busy now, so ADIOS!