From New York to Los Angeles and all points in between
So I changed my name to Crumb Bum. I've given myself Dharma Bum status because I rule. And "Crumb Bum" sounds funny. Try saying. I guarentee you'll like it.
Anyway...it's dead at the Library and I don't feel like starting any new projects as we close in 40 minutes, soo...I shall continue my Electric Six tale.
I believe I already regaled the audience with how we met Johnny Na$hinal outside the club and Dick Valentine's new cape, so forgive me if I repeat myself.
The concert started with the dj playing some funkdefied version of "It's Showtime!" as Dick Valentine took to the stage, "enrobed in a royal purple cape" that said "SHOWTIME" on the back in big letters. Of course the first song of the show was "It's Showtime!" What a great opener. I wonder if they were actually totally filled with hate now. I hope not, because my love for E6 should have conquered all the horrible "Gay Bar" loving pseudo-fans.
They played songs from all four albums, but I was hoping for more from Exterminate. But hey, I'm not complaining! Percussion World was fucking ON that night. His drumming was amazing for the whole show. Tait looked a little tired, but the rest of the guys blew my dick off. I remember our very first E6 show, I knew it was going to rock when Dick Valentine came out on stage and said "This show (or song) is going to BLOW YOUR DICK OFF!!!" And that it did. To this day I still don't have a dick.
I'm enjoying the show when it gets a million times more awesome. The band launches into "Future Boys", and at the appropriate timing, Smorgasbord and Valentine start doing kicks. Well, when he started jumping around, Chester and I noticed that something was happening to Dick's fly- his pants were ripping. The more he kicked and rocked out, the more his pants ripped!!!!! Basically the whole crotch of his pants got destroyed, revealing his boxers! We even got some hot inner thigh action!
This story is especially hilarious when you take into consideration what happened at their last concert in April. During the whole show, Dick's fly kept unzipping lower and lower with each song! XYZ, Dick!
After his pants were destroyed, Dick just kept on performing. I yelled for him to take them off, adding that he might be more comfortable since it was so hot in the venue, to which he said maybe later in the show! That didn't happen, but something much much better did...
I must admit I do feel bad that Chester didn't get to experience what I did, but I just have to look at what happened to me as a gift from the Karma Train. Ok, here goes: They start playing "Dance Pattern" to which Chester and I start dancing and grooving, because you'd have to be a fucking corpse not to. Anyway, the song is being played, and it was like an unbelievable vision before me: Dick Valentine starts to walk to the front of the stage, right in front of me, and proceeds to get down to crowd level--- and puts his arms fucking AROUND ME. I was getting hugged by THE Dick Valentine. It was intoxicating, I can't even describe it. I was so close to him that I had my head on his chest!!!! He smelled wonderful. Then for extra effect I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair and gave him a mini scalp massage!!!
Well my friends, it's just about closing time. Time to be hittin' that ole dusty trail. Until next time, RIP IT!
Anyway...it's dead at the Library and I don't feel like starting any new projects as we close in 40 minutes, soo...I shall continue my Electric Six tale.
I believe I already regaled the audience with how we met Johnny Na$hinal outside the club and Dick Valentine's new cape, so forgive me if I repeat myself.
The concert started with the dj playing some funkdefied version of "It's Showtime!" as Dick Valentine took to the stage, "enrobed in a royal purple cape" that said "SHOWTIME" on the back in big letters. Of course the first song of the show was "It's Showtime!" What a great opener. I wonder if they were actually totally filled with hate now. I hope not, because my love for E6 should have conquered all the horrible "Gay Bar" loving pseudo-fans.
They played songs from all four albums, but I was hoping for more from Exterminate. But hey, I'm not complaining! Percussion World was fucking ON that night. His drumming was amazing for the whole show. Tait looked a little tired, but the rest of the guys blew my dick off. I remember our very first E6 show, I knew it was going to rock when Dick Valentine came out on stage and said "This show (or song) is going to BLOW YOUR DICK OFF!!!" And that it did. To this day I still don't have a dick.
I'm enjoying the show when it gets a million times more awesome. The band launches into "Future Boys", and at the appropriate timing, Smorgasbord and Valentine start doing kicks. Well, when he started jumping around, Chester and I noticed that something was happening to Dick's fly- his pants were ripping. The more he kicked and rocked out, the more his pants ripped!!!!! Basically the whole crotch of his pants got destroyed, revealing his boxers! We even got some hot inner thigh action!
This story is especially hilarious when you take into consideration what happened at their last concert in April. During the whole show, Dick's fly kept unzipping lower and lower with each song! XYZ, Dick!
After his pants were destroyed, Dick just kept on performing. I yelled for him to take them off, adding that he might be more comfortable since it was so hot in the venue, to which he said maybe later in the show! That didn't happen, but something much much better did...
I must admit I do feel bad that Chester didn't get to experience what I did, but I just have to look at what happened to me as a gift from the Karma Train. Ok, here goes: They start playing "Dance Pattern" to which Chester and I start dancing and grooving, because you'd have to be a fucking corpse not to. Anyway, the song is being played, and it was like an unbelievable vision before me: Dick Valentine starts to walk to the front of the stage, right in front of me, and proceeds to get down to crowd level--- and puts his arms fucking AROUND ME. I was getting hugged by THE Dick Valentine. It was intoxicating, I can't even describe it. I was so close to him that I had my head on his chest!!!! He smelled wonderful. Then for extra effect I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair and gave him a mini scalp massage!!!
Well my friends, it's just about closing time. Time to be hittin' that ole dusty trail. Until next time, RIP IT!