Notorious B.A.G.
Phew, haven't been to the LJ corner of the intanets in a while! I don't even think I ever finished writing about Scranton or meeting Neil Hamburger. Well good news kids, my boss isn't here on Fridays, so in between my work I shall entertain thee with mine words written here.
Where were we? Oh yea, well, once we got back into CT coming home from Scranton, we decided to take the scenic route home rather than fuck around going into Hartford. We passed this dino mini golf course that brought back some odd memories. For you see, the day before I had my tonsils taken out when I was very young, my parents thought going on an outing and playing dino mini golf would be fun. All I remember was trying to have fun, but this feeling of dread and terror and anticipatory anxiety overwhelmed me. In other words, I didn't really have any fun. But driving by there sure brought back a lot of memories!
Then we went down to Devil's Hopyard to see the waterfall. It was a little dried up, but still pretty nice. Then we had FFIFF's ice cream. Fireman's Famous Ice something something Factory I think. I dunno.
Then we got home and I think that's it. Then Monday rolled around. Chester, Felix, and I drove up to Providence the night of Sept. 10 to go see NEIL HAMBURGER!!! There were three other bands that were pretty good.
First we heard from Mustang Cobra. They had a really tight delivery, and a female drummer which is always very cool. However, their logo and band name is pretty stupid. It's shaped like the Metallica logo. They could get sued! Metallica loves to sue. Then came Deer Tick, a country/folky/rockabilly band. Their music wasn't really anything individual or groundbreaking, but they did have a stand-up bass and a mint green guitar. Very cool.
As the next act was setting up, I noticed they placed on stage two white curtains and a sparkly curtain in the middle. I had no idea what these curtain were for, but I liked where this was going. Then, they started to project images on the two white screens as a man in a red jumpsuit and lighted wrestling belt jumps out from behind the glittery curtain and starts busting out strange ass lyrics as strange ass pictures and cartoons are displayed on the screens. This man, my friends, is PLEASEEASAUR. Featuring such hits as "No Prob Limo," "Dog Shit," "Pizza Brothers and Sons Inc.," and many others, Pleaseeasaur changes his outfit to sing along. There was a furry snowman costume, tight animal print pants, goodwill t-shirts, a mullet wig, and even Tony Tone Toni. It's hard to explain, all I know is that it blew my fucking mind. It was the greatest live act I have ever seen. It was sort of like what Weird Al does, only this was totally absurd and not marketable to the masses.
Then came the moment we were waiting for. Mr. Neil Hamburger took to the stage, holding his three drinks and spilling them all over his (probably) cheap, moth-hole ridden suit. I don't exactly remember all of his jokes, but he did rag the hell out of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. No one is safe from the tongue of Hamburger! Chester snapped a pic with her cellphone, and that is currently my cellphone's background. I think the show went on for at least 45 minutes. He did like 8 encores. The crowd was pretty good, so Neil only had to yell at one or two assholes. Chester, Felix, and I were standing right in front of the stage, so when he came out, Neil was like "Oh wow, we've got some ladies here tonight," to which I reply "Oh Neil, you get my HOT!" and I think he said "Thank you" or something to that effect.
Once the set was over, Mr. Hamburger left the stage, and to my surprise, went over to his merchandise booth and was selling his own stuff! I was like, dude, they've got you hawking your own cheesy wares? What craziness! No one was even crowding around him, so Chester and I decided to say "hi" and "thanks for coming." As soon as he got offstage, he just reverted to being Gregg Turkington though still in Hamburger costumry. What a nice guy! I was totally surprised. We shook hands literally like 5 times. I asked him a few questions about interviews I had read with him, and he confirmed the tale about the rotten guacamole at Madison Square Gardens! I believe he said "I say a lot of things as jokes, but that's the truth! That was horrible!"
Then he told me he like my shirt, which is the one with the dancing pills and pill bottle that says "I Buy the Drugs." I reccomended he try listening to Electric Six. He asks: "Oh, are they easy listening?" and I almost lost it. What else...oh yea! Then Chester and I tore a poster off of the wall and he signed that as well! I also purchased an hilarious t-shirt and a copy of "Hot February Night." I think he was impressed that I knew the title of the record. I also inquired as to whether or not he knew if he'd be collaborating with Tim and Eric again. He said he didn't know, but told me they were really great to work with. Then I was very flattered when he told Chester and I that we were "good people" like Tim and Eric! How cool.
For the record, I have a raging celebrity crush on Gregg Turkington at the moment. Of course he's married. WHy are all the famous men I crush on always married? Someday, Crumbly...someday...
To honor how great Neil Hamburger/Gregg Turkington/Zip Code Rapists is/are, Chester and I made literal Neil hamburgers last night. We played "94142" on repeat as whe shaped the meat. Then we popped the letters on the grill, added some cheese, and viola! had Neil Hamburger hamburgers for dinner. At 1 in the morning. That's the latest I've ever eaten dinner.
THe night before that, we made a meat hat. Well, it's actually a hat covered with meat, but it's still a meat hat. It has a lovely woven brim with hot dog medallion accents. I have pictures of both nights of meat madness!
Oh yea, we also went camping somewhere in there. That was just this past Monday and Tuesday. We went down to Green Falls and got an awesome campsite. It was huge, yet ironically we had the smallest tent known to man. We also did 2 "new classic" MadLibs that I will post later. My internet isn't working at home so that's been a bitch.
And tonight we are going with Laura and Richard to see Weird Al at Foxwoods! I think this will be my 4th or 5th time seeing him in concert. The show should rock. Al puts on a quality performance.
Ugh, Ihave to work tomorrow morning. I'm a "long-term temp" now. I make $8.25 an hour! Woo! But that will only last until Margaret comes back. Darn.
Well friends, I will try to read the friend's page. I haven't read that in weeks. I have no idea what's going on with any of you. Sorry. But stay tuned for some rad pictures.
Oh! And Chester and I decided that we needed uneccesarily offensive and horrible email addresses. If you want to contact Chester, feel free to send her a note at murderedtoddler@gmail.com. I can also be reached at marathonrapist@gmail.com. How's THAT for bad taste???
Until next time, I'm drowning in a world of absurdity. And I love it.
Where were we? Oh yea, well, once we got back into CT coming home from Scranton, we decided to take the scenic route home rather than fuck around going into Hartford. We passed this dino mini golf course that brought back some odd memories. For you see, the day before I had my tonsils taken out when I was very young, my parents thought going on an outing and playing dino mini golf would be fun. All I remember was trying to have fun, but this feeling of dread and terror and anticipatory anxiety overwhelmed me. In other words, I didn't really have any fun. But driving by there sure brought back a lot of memories!
Then we went down to Devil's Hopyard to see the waterfall. It was a little dried up, but still pretty nice. Then we had FFIFF's ice cream. Fireman's Famous Ice something something Factory I think. I dunno.
Then we got home and I think that's it. Then Monday rolled around. Chester, Felix, and I drove up to Providence the night of Sept. 10 to go see NEIL HAMBURGER!!! There were three other bands that were pretty good.
First we heard from Mustang Cobra. They had a really tight delivery, and a female drummer which is always very cool. However, their logo and band name is pretty stupid. It's shaped like the Metallica logo. They could get sued! Metallica loves to sue. Then came Deer Tick, a country/folky/rockabilly band. Their music wasn't really anything individual or groundbreaking, but they did have a stand-up bass and a mint green guitar. Very cool.
As the next act was setting up, I noticed they placed on stage two white curtains and a sparkly curtain in the middle. I had no idea what these curtain were for, but I liked where this was going. Then, they started to project images on the two white screens as a man in a red jumpsuit and lighted wrestling belt jumps out from behind the glittery curtain and starts busting out strange ass lyrics as strange ass pictures and cartoons are displayed on the screens. This man, my friends, is PLEASEEASAUR. Featuring such hits as "No Prob Limo," "Dog Shit," "Pizza Brothers and Sons Inc.," and many others, Pleaseeasaur changes his outfit to sing along. There was a furry snowman costume, tight animal print pants, goodwill t-shirts, a mullet wig, and even Tony Tone Toni. It's hard to explain, all I know is that it blew my fucking mind. It was the greatest live act I have ever seen. It was sort of like what Weird Al does, only this was totally absurd and not marketable to the masses.
Then came the moment we were waiting for. Mr. Neil Hamburger took to the stage, holding his three drinks and spilling them all over his (probably) cheap, moth-hole ridden suit. I don't exactly remember all of his jokes, but he did rag the hell out of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. No one is safe from the tongue of Hamburger! Chester snapped a pic with her cellphone, and that is currently my cellphone's background. I think the show went on for at least 45 minutes. He did like 8 encores. The crowd was pretty good, so Neil only had to yell at one or two assholes. Chester, Felix, and I were standing right in front of the stage, so when he came out, Neil was like "Oh wow, we've got some ladies here tonight," to which I reply "Oh Neil, you get my HOT!" and I think he said "Thank you" or something to that effect.
Once the set was over, Mr. Hamburger left the stage, and to my surprise, went over to his merchandise booth and was selling his own stuff! I was like, dude, they've got you hawking your own cheesy wares? What craziness! No one was even crowding around him, so Chester and I decided to say "hi" and "thanks for coming." As soon as he got offstage, he just reverted to being Gregg Turkington though still in Hamburger costumry. What a nice guy! I was totally surprised. We shook hands literally like 5 times. I asked him a few questions about interviews I had read with him, and he confirmed the tale about the rotten guacamole at Madison Square Gardens! I believe he said "I say a lot of things as jokes, but that's the truth! That was horrible!"
Then he told me he like my shirt, which is the one with the dancing pills and pill bottle that says "I Buy the Drugs." I reccomended he try listening to Electric Six. He asks: "Oh, are they easy listening?" and I almost lost it. What else...oh yea! Then Chester and I tore a poster off of the wall and he signed that as well! I also purchased an hilarious t-shirt and a copy of "Hot February Night." I think he was impressed that I knew the title of the record. I also inquired as to whether or not he knew if he'd be collaborating with Tim and Eric again. He said he didn't know, but told me they were really great to work with. Then I was very flattered when he told Chester and I that we were "good people" like Tim and Eric! How cool.
For the record, I have a raging celebrity crush on Gregg Turkington at the moment. Of course he's married. WHy are all the famous men I crush on always married? Someday, Crumbly...someday...
To honor how great Neil Hamburger/Gregg Turkington/Zip Code Rapists is/are, Chester and I made literal Neil hamburgers last night. We played "94142" on repeat as whe shaped the meat. Then we popped the letters on the grill, added some cheese, and viola! had Neil Hamburger hamburgers for dinner. At 1 in the morning. That's the latest I've ever eaten dinner.
THe night before that, we made a meat hat. Well, it's actually a hat covered with meat, but it's still a meat hat. It has a lovely woven brim with hot dog medallion accents. I have pictures of both nights of meat madness!
Oh yea, we also went camping somewhere in there. That was just this past Monday and Tuesday. We went down to Green Falls and got an awesome campsite. It was huge, yet ironically we had the smallest tent known to man. We also did 2 "new classic" MadLibs that I will post later. My internet isn't working at home so that's been a bitch.
And tonight we are going with Laura and Richard to see Weird Al at Foxwoods! I think this will be my 4th or 5th time seeing him in concert. The show should rock. Al puts on a quality performance.
Ugh, Ihave to work tomorrow morning. I'm a "long-term temp" now. I make $8.25 an hour! Woo! But that will only last until Margaret comes back. Darn.
Well friends, I will try to read the friend's page. I haven't read that in weeks. I have no idea what's going on with any of you. Sorry. But stay tuned for some rad pictures.
Oh! And Chester and I decided that we needed uneccesarily offensive and horrible email addresses. If you want to contact Chester, feel free to send her a note at murderedtoddler@gmail.com. I can also be reached at marathonrapist@gmail.com. How's THAT for bad taste???
Until next time, I'm drowning in a world of absurdity. And I love it.