I Can't Deal With the Speed of Time
I can't deal with the speed of time. It is passing at a frighteningly quick speed, and things that happened last week may as well have happened a year ago. My grasp on time is limited to a day to day basis. I can't comprehend the future. What a ridiculous thing to try and understand. And the past? What a jumble of memories and thoughts that has become.
I totally neglected to update on my Birthday. July 12 for those of you who are keeping track. Nothing really great happened except I didn't have to be around my family. Ha! That sounds cold, but birthday celebrations always have the tendency to go sour or awkward when I'm around the family. Besides, for me, birthdays are a somber time to recall the passing of another year you will never get back. Getting older and closer to death everyday is intense enough when you are a highly sensitive person such as myself, and a birthday is really just a marker of how long you have managed to go without killing yourself or getting killed. I've never associated my birthday with happiness. Not like my childhood was that awful, but I just prefer to keep to myself and not drawn attention to the day.
I've been so confused by death lately as well. I was shutting off the children's computer today when I really was hit by how absurd death really is. It happens everyday to everything. It's a fairly common occurence yet it absolutley devestates us. Sometimes death is welcome or expected, and other times it shows up unannounced, but we never seem ready for it. Why are we so sad when it is inevitable? Is it just fear? I don't know. I don't feel like delving into my psyche and pondering on into the night. I feel like going to Mars and watching Futurama, the greatest science-fiction series of all time. I'm taking the easy way out, kids.
In other news, I have something to look forward to! I've always been curious about the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players and I get to SEE them July 28th in Hartford!!! And...even better, this great band I just found out about a few days ago is opening for them. I encourage everyone to check out The Chuck Hestons. They are from Colchester! Awesome.
Well, I am pooped. I worked from 1-8 at the library today. It was wonderful. I haven't worked that much since April, and I haven't worked at a job I love in even longer. If the Great Magnet wants to bless me with his/her explosion of love, they will provide a library job for me once my temporary stint is over. Oh yea, I am an official "temp" at the library until they find a teenager. Until then, I'm living the high life. Then there is a rumor that one of my co-workers will be resigning soon, so I am going to shove my way into that position if it actually does become available. Go me. And I'm going back to school to get my Library Technical Assistant certificate. I have a lot on the ball. Again, go me!
Until next time my little scalawags, take care of your hearts.
I totally neglected to update on my Birthday. July 12 for those of you who are keeping track. Nothing really great happened except I didn't have to be around my family. Ha! That sounds cold, but birthday celebrations always have the tendency to go sour or awkward when I'm around the family. Besides, for me, birthdays are a somber time to recall the passing of another year you will never get back. Getting older and closer to death everyday is intense enough when you are a highly sensitive person such as myself, and a birthday is really just a marker of how long you have managed to go without killing yourself or getting killed. I've never associated my birthday with happiness. Not like my childhood was that awful, but I just prefer to keep to myself and not drawn attention to the day.
I've been so confused by death lately as well. I was shutting off the children's computer today when I really was hit by how absurd death really is. It happens everyday to everything. It's a fairly common occurence yet it absolutley devestates us. Sometimes death is welcome or expected, and other times it shows up unannounced, but we never seem ready for it. Why are we so sad when it is inevitable? Is it just fear? I don't know. I don't feel like delving into my psyche and pondering on into the night. I feel like going to Mars and watching Futurama, the greatest science-fiction series of all time. I'm taking the easy way out, kids.
In other news, I have something to look forward to! I've always been curious about the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players and I get to SEE them July 28th in Hartford!!! And...even better, this great band I just found out about a few days ago is opening for them. I encourage everyone to check out The Chuck Hestons. They are from Colchester! Awesome.
Well, I am pooped. I worked from 1-8 at the library today. It was wonderful. I haven't worked that much since April, and I haven't worked at a job I love in even longer. If the Great Magnet wants to bless me with his/her explosion of love, they will provide a library job for me once my temporary stint is over. Oh yea, I am an official "temp" at the library until they find a teenager. Until then, I'm living the high life. Then there is a rumor that one of my co-workers will be resigning soon, so I am going to shove my way into that position if it actually does become available. Go me. And I'm going back to school to get my Library Technical Assistant certificate. I have a lot on the ball. Again, go me!
Until next time my little scalawags, take care of your hearts.