Cosmic Fairy Dust
Hello LJ-verse! I don't even know who's still here but whatevs. It's my corner of the internet and I'm back in it.
I've just been so amazed lately, but not the braindead-everything-stops kind of amazed. The better kind, the one that's conscious and self-aware. As you may know I quit my last job a couple of months back and since then I've been teetering once again on "life's big questions". Then last month I finally decided that I'll just get started, whatever it is, and start doing something, because I can already feel myself rotting in bumnation. Then lo, just like that, as if that simple decision was a door opening, things came pouring in. Projects, invites, possibilities.
I am so amazed. And so grateful. I can not even begin to comprehend how grateful I am, really. I was scared shitless because I've never done this raketshit before and I didn't know if I can; I didn't even know if I had what it takes. And I still can't be 100% complacent, though I think that's a good thing. But it's just so awesome that with the snap of the Cosmic finger, opportunities are knocking at my door.
Oh God/Universe, if I can physically hug you right now I so will. Otherwise I just hope I can do myself justice on all this awesomeness. For once in my life, I really, truly, wholly care about what I do. I care like I've never cared before, not even when I was at school. I think it's because this time I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone else anymore, which I can never take seriously. I think this time I'm trying to prove things to myself, and I need to know I can make it, for me. I'm still scared shitless, and I'm constantly worried that I'll bungle it up (which I probably will at one point or another, because who doesn't right?), but I'm excited and, most importantly, I'm happy. So, I say, keep it coming Universe! I'm up for it! Yeah!
I've just been so amazed lately, but not the braindead-everything-stops kind of amazed. The better kind, the one that's conscious and self-aware. As you may know I quit my last job a couple of months back and since then I've been teetering once again on "life's big questions". Then last month I finally decided that I'll just get started, whatever it is, and start doing something, because I can already feel myself rotting in bumnation. Then lo, just like that, as if that simple decision was a door opening, things came pouring in. Projects, invites, possibilities.
I am so amazed. And so grateful. I can not even begin to comprehend how grateful I am, really. I was scared shitless because I've never done this raketshit before and I didn't know if I can; I didn't even know if I had what it takes. And I still can't be 100% complacent, though I think that's a good thing. But it's just so awesome that with the snap of the Cosmic finger, opportunities are knocking at my door.
Oh God/Universe, if I can physically hug you right now I so will. Otherwise I just hope I can do myself justice on all this awesomeness. For once in my life, I really, truly, wholly care about what I do. I care like I've never cared before, not even when I was at school. I think it's because this time I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone else anymore, which I can never take seriously. I think this time I'm trying to prove things to myself, and I need to know I can make it, for me. I'm still scared shitless, and I'm constantly worried that I'll bungle it up (which I probably will at one point or another, because who doesn't right?), but I'm excited and, most importantly, I'm happy. So, I say, keep it coming Universe! I'm up for it! Yeah!