hay.
I don't know what it is about me, or certain people around me, or the year, but I've been growing so impatient lately.
I guess I haven't come to terms with people changing, and the eventuality of them changing into people I don't necessarily like. I don't know how to deal with it. For a while I've been telling myself it's just a phase they're going through, but what if it's not? What if it's who they are and I can't change it anymore?
If it happens all the time now, then it can't be justified by PMS anymore, right? Or could they possibly overdose on Vitamin Bitch everyday?
But sometimes, it isn't even that they're bitchy. It's just that they've become really annoying. Forget the attempts to pass off snide remarks as random statements or innocent jibes (and the underlying assumption that I'm so thickheaded I won't see it for what it is, or pretending that they're so naive they don't know what they're doing, or that they do thus making it a hundred times worse). They've just become really superficial.
I mean, great if something makes them happy. But if I've known them for years, I would definitely know the difference between their sincere happiness, showing off, or just plain shoving-it-your-face-I'm-better-than-you condescension.
Sadly right now I don't know what to do with it. So I just shove it right back; a good upward jab right under the chin. Not really a good idea, I know.
But it's not like I want new friends. I don't. I just want the old ones back. Before all their pretensions, affectations and insecurities ate them up.
I guess I haven't come to terms with people changing, and the eventuality of them changing into people I don't necessarily like. I don't know how to deal with it. For a while I've been telling myself it's just a phase they're going through, but what if it's not? What if it's who they are and I can't change it anymore?
If it happens all the time now, then it can't be justified by PMS anymore, right? Or could they possibly overdose on Vitamin Bitch everyday?
But sometimes, it isn't even that they're bitchy. It's just that they've become really annoying. Forget the attempts to pass off snide remarks as random statements or innocent jibes (and the underlying assumption that I'm so thickheaded I won't see it for what it is, or pretending that they're so naive they don't know what they're doing, or that they do thus making it a hundred times worse). They've just become really superficial.
I mean, great if something makes them happy. But if I've known them for years, I would definitely know the difference between their sincere happiness, showing off, or just plain shoving-it-your-face-I'm-better-than-you condescension.
Sadly right now I don't know what to do with it. So I just shove it right back; a good upward jab right under the chin. Not really a good idea, I know.
But it's not like I want new friends. I don't. I just want the old ones back. Before all their pretensions, affectations and insecurities ate them up.