sound reasoning
1. Yesterday was a B. L. A. S. T. Drove up all the way to Angono, Rizal for my org mate's photography equipment. Then learned all about lighting, and setups and technical photography stuff without having to pay expensive fees for seminars. I must say I'm so excited by the direction of UP Iris. They're now filled with passionate people who are constantly looking to grow and improve in the field we love. That only means grand things ahead. I feel like one proud momma. Haha.
2. Then it was off to watch Social Network with college friends. That was great too. It was a really cool movie, very witty exchange, awesome screenplay! And Jesse Eisenberg? Genius! Just don't know how true it is, but still, that's besides the point.
But more than that, during post-movie drinks we got our newly-out gay friend to share his story with us. It's kinda sad how hard it is for some people to come out about sexuality, because it's such a big part of who they are and yet they can't be honest about it. I can't imagine how anyone can hide that about themselves. I'm just glad though that now he's comfortable enough to discuss it openly and even make jokes about it. At least he trusts us enough not to judge.
3. So many realizations came to me this week. What a very interesting period in my life. I'm excited about how this unfolds.
4. Because I missed it yesterday.
Day 19: A Suicide note
When I think about it, it feels like something too heavy for me to be able to articulate on my own. So, as in moments when I'm overwhelmed, I leave it to art and/or poetry.
I'll leave a copy of Donnie Darko on the site, and just leave a scrap of paper that says "Destruction is a form of Creation". And that's it.
5. While this one is for today.
Day 20: Your life motto
Eat, pray, love.
Live, and let live.
Moderation, patience, and respect. (Yes, that's a Benedictine creed.)
Ora et Labora. (Yes, that's the actual Benedictine motto.)
It's perhaps these values that glued me to Catholicism and, more than that, strengthened my bond to the Benedictine credo. But that's another story.
Wisdom, strength, and courage are at the Core.
6. And an excess for tomorrow, coz I'll be out.
WOAH WAIT I'M MISSING DAY 21 FROM MY LIST!!! So I'll take that as a chance to add something of my own.
Day 21: Something significant for you at the moment
I've been living by two songs lately. The anthems of my year, so to speak.
First, Song of the Year career and general direction-wise. Most significant lines in bold.
Hand in my Pocket
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah (this was the case two months ago.. hehe)
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano (this part is wishful thinking. for now.)
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxicab...(this was true about three months ago. though, i'm happy to say, not any more. hahahahaha. boo yeah.)
So if you notice, most of the song is in bold. Hahaha.
Next song. Something Chel brought up a couple of days ago. It's just a wonder because at very significant and highly appropriate periods in my life it manages to pop up. And here it is again, at a very crucial turning point.
Quasimodo
You can be right
And I'll be real
Oh, and it still won't be a pain
That you will have to feel
'Cause I don't need your approval
To find my worth
I'm trapped inside of my own mind
Afraid to open my eyes
'Cause of what I'd find and I
Don't wanna live like this anymore
There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fallin'?
Because this feeling
That has no meaning
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
There it goes
Does it scare you that I can
Be something different than you?
Would it make you feel
More comfortable if I wasn't?
Well you can't control me
And you can't take away from me
Who I am
There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fallin'
Because this feeling
That has no meaning
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
But you can't change me
You can't break me
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
Oh have you ever felt
Like your only comfort was your cage?
You're not alone
Oh I've felt the same as you
Oh have you ever felt
Like your secrets give you away?
You're not alone
Oh I've been there too
'Cause everyone is lookin'
And everyone is laughin'
But I think everyone feels the same
Everybody wants to feel okay
And everybody wants to
Everybody wants to feel
There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fallin'?
Because this feeling
That has no meaning
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
'Cause I don't want it
I don't want it
But you can't change me
You can't break me
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
There it goes
Yes, it feels very light to let go of that heft on your shoulders. Amazing feeling.
2. Then it was off to watch Social Network with college friends. That was great too. It was a really cool movie, very witty exchange, awesome screenplay! And Jesse Eisenberg? Genius! Just don't know how true it is, but still, that's besides the point.
But more than that, during post-movie drinks we got our newly-out gay friend to share his story with us. It's kinda sad how hard it is for some people to come out about sexuality, because it's such a big part of who they are and yet they can't be honest about it. I can't imagine how anyone can hide that about themselves. I'm just glad though that now he's comfortable enough to discuss it openly and even make jokes about it. At least he trusts us enough not to judge.
3. So many realizations came to me this week. What a very interesting period in my life. I'm excited about how this unfolds.
4. Because I missed it yesterday.
Day 19: A Suicide note
When I think about it, it feels like something too heavy for me to be able to articulate on my own. So, as in moments when I'm overwhelmed, I leave it to art and/or poetry.
I'll leave a copy of Donnie Darko on the site, and just leave a scrap of paper that says "Destruction is a form of Creation". And that's it.
5. While this one is for today.
Day 20: Your life motto
Eat, pray, love.
Live, and let live.
Moderation, patience, and respect. (Yes, that's a Benedictine creed.)
Ora et Labora. (Yes, that's the actual Benedictine motto.)
It's perhaps these values that glued me to Catholicism and, more than that, strengthened my bond to the Benedictine credo. But that's another story.
Wisdom, strength, and courage are at the Core.
6. And an excess for tomorrow, coz I'll be out.
WOAH WAIT I'M MISSING DAY 21 FROM MY LIST!!! So I'll take that as a chance to add something of my own.
Day 21: Something significant for you at the moment
I've been living by two songs lately. The anthems of my year, so to speak.
First, Song of the Year career and general direction-wise. Most significant lines in bold.
Hand in my Pocket
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah (this was the case two months ago.. hehe)
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano (this part is wishful thinking. for now.)
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxicab...(this was true about three months ago. though, i'm happy to say, not any more. hahahahaha. boo yeah.)
So if you notice, most of the song is in bold. Hahaha.
Next song. Something Chel brought up a couple of days ago. It's just a wonder because at very significant and highly appropriate periods in my life it manages to pop up. And here it is again, at a very crucial turning point.
Quasimodo
You can be right
And I'll be real
Oh, and it still won't be a pain
That you will have to feel
'Cause I don't need your approval
To find my worth
I'm trapped inside of my own mind
Afraid to open my eyes
'Cause of what I'd find and I
Don't wanna live like this anymore
There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fallin'?
Because this feeling
That has no meaning
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
There it goes
Does it scare you that I can
Be something different than you?
Would it make you feel
More comfortable if I wasn't?
Well you can't control me
And you can't take away from me
Who I am
There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fallin'
Because this feeling
That has no meaning
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
But you can't change me
You can't break me
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
Oh have you ever felt
Like your only comfort was your cage?
You're not alone
Oh I've felt the same as you
Oh have you ever felt
Like your secrets give you away?
You're not alone
Oh I've been there too
'Cause everyone is lookin'
And everyone is laughin'
But I think everyone feels the same
Everybody wants to feel okay
And everybody wants to
Everybody wants to feel
There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fallin'?
Because this feeling
That has no meaning
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
'Cause I don't want it
I don't want it
But you can't change me
You can't break me
There goes the world
Off of my shoulders
There goes the world
Off of my back
There it goes
Yes, it feels very light to let go of that heft on your shoulders. Amazing feeling.