A schadenfreudal orgasm.

[cruelbitch]

Delightful.

Author's Note: This lengthy diatribe was inspired by a sf-drama post -- a forum I do not attend, nor do I desire becoming invested in -- which elicited a severe twitch of irritation within me. I, very reluctantly, said nothing. After all, why would I, somebody who devotes massive amounts of their time into Dare-I-Say-PC research, ever want to

Comments

[ex_lost_kit]

Interesting thing is that this narrative can be generalized in a lot of ways to conditions that generally aren't recognized/appreciated. It's a powerful one nonetheless.

Anyways, I envy asexuals. I have no love of the fact that I'm vulnerable to being sidetracked in life by the desire for... rutting. Nothing is more intellectually repulsive to me than the thought that people would basically see this as a worthy goal in life. Ask me why I'm indifferent to the happiness of others, and I'd point to all the stupid things which make people happy... sex being one of the main examples.

Obviously my inclination towards asexuality is not intrinsic, but I can't help but try to cultivate it.

[cruelbitch]

So is your particular brand of asexual-favoring adequately described as "viscerally enjoying sex, but not cerebrally"? Or something else entirely?

I speculated how my narrative could be generalized, and somewhat deliberately applied a primer for versatility ... which I assume is precisely my opposition's problem. It opening the door for slippery-sloping, and all that delight.

As to the rest: I basically "get" you there. Disturbing how embedded carnality is into everything, how people subsequently prioritize it, and how it can make or break otherwise workable situations.

[ex_lost_kit]

I've tried to remember whether I was actually happier alone or if I retreated from frustration.

It is disturbing, "how embedded carnality is into everything," but in my case I think it's because my choices are:
- constant reminders that I'm unwanted, or
- being a hermit, against my will

I don't have the luxury of saying things like "the suicidal are already dead." If others refused interaction with you except as Employee & Customer, what would you do?

[cruelbitch]

This is probably rhetorical, but it's a question I can't meaningfully answer without empty presumptions. There is evidently a difference in our personal disgust for carnality (and interpersonal relationships) in terms of its roots, even if the surface sentiment is paralleled. Even the powerless quality behind your statement comes from a different place than the powerlessness of mine, so it's admittedly difficult to confront your hypothetical.

I can only state that it has always been extremely important for me to be able to walk away from things, including people and baser inclinations. And that, in my own circumstances, it's remarkably easy for me to turn to stone (and to prefer this) if my rigid principles and ideals are not honored. Perhaps, truth be told, this could be regarded as a luxury in its own right, although I would consider the winding paths behind this outlook to be far from luxurious. Grotesque, even.

But as for the last part, all complex pontifications aside ... Are you okay?

yes

[ex_lost_kit]

I've learned: your self-respect isn't a luxury; you've earned it. I need to earn my own. This should have been obvious to me.

Thanks for your reply, and for your perspective.