Jenny from the block.
I quit smoking. After I stopped trusting food that wasn't organic, I realized that smoking was a waste of time. I quit xanax. After a delicate yet arduous four-month weening process, I purged the pain-numbing chemical abscess from my system. This was back in January. Oh, and I bought a house. Notice how I never mentioned any of this. Maybe because I'm not a real person?
I'm tired of these dumbfucks confusing love with lust. It's not love. It's sex. Love is when you can enjoy somebody's company without having to shove a rubbery stick of meat into a cavity and thrust. There is no such thing as "appreciating" somebody by clumsily rubbing your calloused hands over the apex of someone's thighs. Appreciate them by savoring the depth of their character, not by cheapening your bond with gutteral carnal desires. By the way, when people use the term "romance", they mean "sex". Pray tell what is so romantic about sticky discharge oozing out of holes like molasses we people pump their mommy issues away? Stop investing in such empty habits you pig-fucking half wits.
Stop bitching about how you can't choose your family, blah blah blah. If your family lowers your confidence and treats you like a dead deer carcass, get the fuck out of their house and don't answer their phone calls. Refrain from perpetuating the imbecilic pretense that blood is thicker than water if they don't support your religion, your sexual preference, your career. I'm tired of you codependant losers bitching about your terrible family predicaments and yet doing NOTHING to fix your situation. If your family doesn't support your lifestyle, what makes them so special? Hmmm.. could it be... the fact that we elevate our DNA on a pedestal because of some man-made moral obligation to please people who only had us because their condom broke? Thought so.
Stop naming your dogs "Bear". It's not a bear, it's a dog. Why the fuck is this one of the top ten most common dog names in America? It doesn't look like a bear. It doesn't act like a bear. So why the fuck is it called BEAR?? Also, you fucking people don't know anything about your dogs. You select shitty breeds without researching first and don't discipline it intelligently, which is why 90% of you have aggressive non-obeying worthless asshole dogs. Well if you're going to be a shitty owner, then at least keep your incompetance out of my front yard. If you have a raging dog-aggressive pitbull, chain it up so it doesn't DART ACROSS MY LAWN AND TRY TO LUNGE AT MINE. Yes, I'm talking to you, dumbass meth addict neighbors in apartment B.
Jealousy in relationships is for insecure dipshits who deserve to die alone, who for some pretentious reason think it's acceptable to tell a living breathing adult human being what they cannot do with their own life. Just because you happen to enjoy the taste of your "mate"'s genatalia does not mean someone else can't enjoy it also. It's just sex imbeciles, it's not like it actually means something. It's just an overrated repulsive carnal act that people for some reason sactify. If one more dweebfuck complains about being "cheated" on I'm going to beat them over the skull with a serrated strap-on. I hate how people compare relationship problems to real problems.
Oh, and if you count the days of your anniversery every month? Golly gee, aren't you a confident emotionally stable individual who can let a relationship run it's natural unbridled course. Oh wait, not at all! Stop living your life through complete strangers just because the hum of the computer monitor makes you lonely at night. Besides, loneliness is just another variation of boredom. Get, you know, a talent?
Stop updating three times a day detailing your breakfast or other such trivialities that further showcase your vacant skull cavity to the cyber world. I do not appreciate you dropping a pencil and telling me about it in Livejournal. Yes, it is "your journal" and you can "write whatchu want *snapsnap*", but am I the only one filled with rage that people feel it neccesary to share this in the first place? Is it clever? No, not at all. Are people amused by your oh-so-quirky "randomness", hyuck?
Also, someone please tell me the purpose of a private Myspace? Why would you make a public thing private? What the fuck is the point of making a myspace then? Negating the fact that myspace is a vomit-smeared cave filled with simpering parasites fellating their gender of choice. And speaking of vomit...
Stop calling anorexia a disease. It is not a disease. You did not "survive" bulemia. You brought it on yourself. People are puking up food involuntarily from chemotherapy, and here you sheltered suburban kids are, willingly spewing bile into a trash can just to innundate the population with even more unnaturally slender clods. On top of that, you're making the heavy chicks feel even worse about their image, which makes you a contributing factor into America's retarded weight fixation. Of course the media is responsible, and of course it is a legitimate mental health problem; however, own the reality. If it is self-inflicted, even for a good purpose, it's not a "disease" to "battle" - it's neurosis.
Yes, I'm "projecting". Whatever you say. I'm glad there will always be a few persnickety individuals who conjure up memories of 11th grade psychology class with Ms. Dingleberry so they could tell me that I rag on other people because I hate myself, and I merely missed my dosage of heartattack inducing Zoloft. Thanks for the reminder, imbeciles.
I'm tired of these dumbfucks confusing love with lust. It's not love. It's sex. Love is when you can enjoy somebody's company without having to shove a rubbery stick of meat into a cavity and thrust. There is no such thing as "appreciating" somebody by clumsily rubbing your calloused hands over the apex of someone's thighs. Appreciate them by savoring the depth of their character, not by cheapening your bond with gutteral carnal desires. By the way, when people use the term "romance", they mean "sex". Pray tell what is so romantic about sticky discharge oozing out of holes like molasses we people pump their mommy issues away? Stop investing in such empty habits you pig-fucking half wits.
Stop bitching about how you can't choose your family, blah blah blah. If your family lowers your confidence and treats you like a dead deer carcass, get the fuck out of their house and don't answer their phone calls. Refrain from perpetuating the imbecilic pretense that blood is thicker than water if they don't support your religion, your sexual preference, your career. I'm tired of you codependant losers bitching about your terrible family predicaments and yet doing NOTHING to fix your situation. If your family doesn't support your lifestyle, what makes them so special? Hmmm.. could it be... the fact that we elevate our DNA on a pedestal because of some man-made moral obligation to please people who only had us because their condom broke? Thought so.
Stop naming your dogs "Bear". It's not a bear, it's a dog. Why the fuck is this one of the top ten most common dog names in America? It doesn't look like a bear. It doesn't act like a bear. So why the fuck is it called BEAR?? Also, you fucking people don't know anything about your dogs. You select shitty breeds without researching first and don't discipline it intelligently, which is why 90% of you have aggressive non-obeying worthless asshole dogs. Well if you're going to be a shitty owner, then at least keep your incompetance out of my front yard. If you have a raging dog-aggressive pitbull, chain it up so it doesn't DART ACROSS MY LAWN AND TRY TO LUNGE AT MINE. Yes, I'm talking to you, dumbass meth addict neighbors in apartment B.
Jealousy in relationships is for insecure dipshits who deserve to die alone, who for some pretentious reason think it's acceptable to tell a living breathing adult human being what they cannot do with their own life. Just because you happen to enjoy the taste of your "mate"'s genatalia does not mean someone else can't enjoy it also. It's just sex imbeciles, it's not like it actually means something. It's just an overrated repulsive carnal act that people for some reason sactify. If one more dweebfuck complains about being "cheated" on I'm going to beat them over the skull with a serrated strap-on. I hate how people compare relationship problems to real problems.
Oh, and if you count the days of your anniversery every month? Golly gee, aren't you a confident emotionally stable individual who can let a relationship run it's natural unbridled course. Oh wait, not at all! Stop living your life through complete strangers just because the hum of the computer monitor makes you lonely at night. Besides, loneliness is just another variation of boredom. Get, you know, a talent?
Stop updating three times a day detailing your breakfast or other such trivialities that further showcase your vacant skull cavity to the cyber world. I do not appreciate you dropping a pencil and telling me about it in Livejournal. Yes, it is "your journal" and you can "write whatchu want *snapsnap*", but am I the only one filled with rage that people feel it neccesary to share this in the first place? Is it clever? No, not at all. Are people amused by your oh-so-quirky "randomness", hyuck?
Also, someone please tell me the purpose of a private Myspace? Why would you make a public thing private? What the fuck is the point of making a myspace then? Negating the fact that myspace is a vomit-smeared cave filled with simpering parasites fellating their gender of choice. And speaking of vomit...
Stop calling anorexia a disease. It is not a disease. You did not "survive" bulemia. You brought it on yourself. People are puking up food involuntarily from chemotherapy, and here you sheltered suburban kids are, willingly spewing bile into a trash can just to innundate the population with even more unnaturally slender clods. On top of that, you're making the heavy chicks feel even worse about their image, which makes you a contributing factor into America's retarded weight fixation. Of course the media is responsible, and of course it is a legitimate mental health problem; however, own the reality. If it is self-inflicted, even for a good purpose, it's not a "disease" to "battle" - it's neurosis.
Yes, I'm "projecting". Whatever you say. I'm glad there will always be a few persnickety individuals who conjure up memories of 11th grade psychology class with Ms. Dingleberry so they could tell me that I rag on other people because I hate myself, and I merely missed my dosage of heartattack inducing Zoloft. Thanks for the reminder, imbeciles.