Buon compleanno, JenJen.
So D-Day rolls around once again, just in time for the antichrist superstar (moi) to scorn you all with her punishing debut of the Surly Dick Who Lives On.
Today's horoscope spam email told me to bask in the firey orgasm of my satanic birthday, to rekindle severed friendships, and to avoid sleight-of-mind tricks. Ergo, let's hope my demonic powers today don't cause me to inflict you all, my fellow comrades, with a vengeful rash of the ebola virus, your mouth frothing with viral salivation and intestinal lining, while I cackle in a dastardly fashion and twirl my handlebar moustache.
I wonder what I'll covet this year. Money? Less media saturated stereotypes of humanity? Love?
After all, sometimes I can be quite emotionally horny, everyone. Jerk off my psyche. I'll squirt dependency all over your faces.
P.S. - Apparently my birthday is also a day to punch emo faggots in the face. Awesome.
P.P.S. - Yes I'm still alive you idiots, I'm surprised you all stopped updating your trendy Myspace bulletins enough to ask.
Today's horoscope spam email told me to bask in the firey orgasm of my satanic birthday, to rekindle severed friendships, and to avoid sleight-of-mind tricks. Ergo, let's hope my demonic powers today don't cause me to inflict you all, my fellow comrades, with a vengeful rash of the ebola virus, your mouth frothing with viral salivation and intestinal lining, while I cackle in a dastardly fashion and twirl my handlebar moustache.
I wonder what I'll covet this year. Money? Less media saturated stereotypes of humanity? Love?
After all, sometimes I can be quite emotionally horny, everyone. Jerk off my psyche. I'll squirt dependency all over your faces.
P.S. - Apparently my birthday is also a day to punch emo faggots in the face. Awesome.
P.P.S. - Yes I'm still alive you idiots, I'm surprised you all stopped updating your trendy Myspace bulletins enough to ask.