Fic: Straightjacket Feeling
Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straitjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Straitjacket. That’s what this love feels like. It turns me inside out and flips me over until everything is completely displaced. My world turns upside down and at times I can hardly breathe. The thought of life without you makes me breathless. I’m enclosed on all sides, bound by leather straps that hold me in.
Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
I had a plan for my life and you weren’t in it. I was to be a career woman. Perhaps an educator or intelligence for the Ministry. I didn’t want a family, or a husband. I did not want love. Then that day happened and everything went to hell.
Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing
You said trust you that this was right. I did. And you rekindled a part of me that I never used: my heart. I was all brains and a heart cold as ice. Love was a pesky annoyance to my daily routine. And it was unpredictable. And I wasn’t. You begged me to feel with my heart, not think with my brain. And I did. And you stole it.
Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
You stole my heart in a way that I can hardly describe. It wasn’t what you showed me on the outside, but what you showed me within. I waited, fervently patient, for the day when you would show me your true self. That day changed my life. Both our lives. We made love that day and then I woke to find my life in disarray.
And when the memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away
You didn’t take my virginity, I gave it to you. I gave everything to you. My body, my heart, my soul, and my impenetrably guarded mind. They were yours for as long as you would have them. And have them you did. I once feared that I would lose you too soon. I wish for once that I had been wrong.
Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
This love is like a straitjacket because even though you have gone, my love for you has not. I fear that I will remain here to rot or simply waste away. I am nothing without you. A part of my being died with you and I can only pray that it will soon be my turn.
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straitjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Straitjacket. That’s what this love feels like. It turns me inside out and flips me over until everything is completely displaced. My world turns upside down and at times I can hardly breathe. The thought of life without you makes me breathless. I’m enclosed on all sides, bound by leather straps that hold me in.
Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
I had a plan for my life and you weren’t in it. I was to be a career woman. Perhaps an educator or intelligence for the Ministry. I didn’t want a family, or a husband. I did not want love. Then that day happened and everything went to hell.
Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing
You said trust you that this was right. I did. And you rekindled a part of me that I never used: my heart. I was all brains and a heart cold as ice. Love was a pesky annoyance to my daily routine. And it was unpredictable. And I wasn’t. You begged me to feel with my heart, not think with my brain. And I did. And you stole it.
Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
You stole my heart in a way that I can hardly describe. It wasn’t what you showed me on the outside, but what you showed me within. I waited, fervently patient, for the day when you would show me your true self. That day changed my life. Both our lives. We made love that day and then I woke to find my life in disarray.
And when the memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away
You didn’t take my virginity, I gave it to you. I gave everything to you. My body, my heart, my soul, and my impenetrably guarded mind. They were yours for as long as you would have them. And have them you did. I once feared that I would lose you too soon. I wish for once that I had been wrong.
Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
This love is like a straitjacket because even though you have gone, my love for you has not. I fear that I will remain here to rot or simply waste away. I am nothing without you. A part of my being died with you and I can only pray that it will soon be my turn.