20/unemployed/no where to run/angry and frumpy
So my birthday festivities were everything I had hoped and wanted them to be. Mom, Pop, myself and my baby boo all went to Veselka for some good Ukranian cuisine, and the one and only "coffee yes" waiter who I am obsessed with sang happy birthday to me with a thick Ukranian accent while presenting me a rasberry cheese blintz, he didn't know my name during for the birthday song so he proceeded to sing but replacing my name with "dear customer" which of course made me laugh uncontrollably.
Kurtis is an absolute dream, he made me the most adorable birthday card ever, and I have plans to put it in a frame and hang it above my bed. Thankfully my mother was some what cooperative and let him sleep on the couch. Unfortunately it did rain on our way back walking to the car, so there wasn't to much city slicking to be done, which is a bummer because its pretty much one of the few things I live for.
Due to the fact that RR is a completely incompitant workplace, I quite/got layed off/fired. I really don't even know what to call the situation because it is so completely fucked up. The fact is that the manager's do not know how to do there jobs but insead are way concerened with talking down to me, being total pricks and are really concerned about my sex life which is in no way relivant to any work I have ever done there. These qualities all go hand in hand with the fact that they didn't even have the balls call me and tell me I don't work there andymore, but instead I sought them out and called them explaining my concerns of various dilemmas, and while proceeding to feed me bullshit for a good twenty minutes, later to inform me (over the phone) that I am no longer a waitress at RR, but I am welcome to apply for another (lower) position.
After my mother and I got back from driving Kurtis to the train station, she told me that my dad had gone donw to RR to talk to one of the managers. This ofcourse pissed me off extremely, because I didn't tell him to do that or anything, and I hate that feeling of everytime something bad happens I don't want "daddy to come and save me" So after being informed of that mess, my mother than told me that her and my dad have been thinking of sending me to a therapist. Oh thinking of sending me eh? Funny because last time I checked I was an adult, and I don't have to go to any therapists if I don't feel it is necessary.
I seriously feel like it doesn't matter what makes me happy anymore, as long as I get my parents to shut the fuck up. It's awful. They say I take everything they say to me personally, and frankly how else am I suppose to feel when they make comments regarding my mental state, my looks, my current job situation. I know I am far from perfect, and I don't ever expect to. But fuck. seriously it's like this continuous circle of let's try and see how many things we can find wrong with Lauren and throw them at her all at once.
My dad is concerend that my motivation to do anything is lacking exremely. To an extent I can see this is true, but only because I feel like the future is going to be more grim than the present, and honestly i've dug my own hole and I really don't have the ability to get out of it. It seems my best is never good enough, and whenever I seek help in almost any important situation, it just seems to get more complicated because nobody will ever work with me.
I'm going to spend the majority of the day on a job search because I can't be unemployed anymore (even though its only been like less than 24 hours)
I really wish for my birthday my mom would get me a new cell phone because the one I have is breaking in half like the dickens. It's so hard to talk to anyone cause the calls cut out due to wire malfunctions. A couple thousand button shells would be nice too, considering I really do have to jump back on the button wagon because It really was the most amount of money I could have made in the shortest amount of time.
I really miss Corey and I hope her tour is going well. I wish i could frolick in Wisconsin with a cheese hat and run from tornados and play for honkies with her.
in other news Kurtis and I are really photogenic. I don't give a rats ass what any of you internet fuck heads or real life fuck heads think. He makes me happy and I'll beat the piss out of you if you try to take that from me or him. And when I'm done I'll slurp your blood up with a crazy straw
ive fallen in love again with my yellow eye shadow
i am going to knit my way out of this town.
that's my baby!!!
the little prince!
el fin....for now!
Kurtis is an absolute dream, he made me the most adorable birthday card ever, and I have plans to put it in a frame and hang it above my bed. Thankfully my mother was some what cooperative and let him sleep on the couch. Unfortunately it did rain on our way back walking to the car, so there wasn't to much city slicking to be done, which is a bummer because its pretty much one of the few things I live for.
Due to the fact that RR is a completely incompitant workplace, I quite/got layed off/fired. I really don't even know what to call the situation because it is so completely fucked up. The fact is that the manager's do not know how to do there jobs but insead are way concerened with talking down to me, being total pricks and are really concerned about my sex life which is in no way relivant to any work I have ever done there. These qualities all go hand in hand with the fact that they didn't even have the balls call me and tell me I don't work there andymore, but instead I sought them out and called them explaining my concerns of various dilemmas, and while proceeding to feed me bullshit for a good twenty minutes, later to inform me (over the phone) that I am no longer a waitress at RR, but I am welcome to apply for another (lower) position.
After my mother and I got back from driving Kurtis to the train station, she told me that my dad had gone donw to RR to talk to one of the managers. This ofcourse pissed me off extremely, because I didn't tell him to do that or anything, and I hate that feeling of everytime something bad happens I don't want "daddy to come and save me" So after being informed of that mess, my mother than told me that her and my dad have been thinking of sending me to a therapist. Oh thinking of sending me eh? Funny because last time I checked I was an adult, and I don't have to go to any therapists if I don't feel it is necessary.
I seriously feel like it doesn't matter what makes me happy anymore, as long as I get my parents to shut the fuck up. It's awful. They say I take everything they say to me personally, and frankly how else am I suppose to feel when they make comments regarding my mental state, my looks, my current job situation. I know I am far from perfect, and I don't ever expect to. But fuck. seriously it's like this continuous circle of let's try and see how many things we can find wrong with Lauren and throw them at her all at once.
My dad is concerend that my motivation to do anything is lacking exremely. To an extent I can see this is true, but only because I feel like the future is going to be more grim than the present, and honestly i've dug my own hole and I really don't have the ability to get out of it. It seems my best is never good enough, and whenever I seek help in almost any important situation, it just seems to get more complicated because nobody will ever work with me.
I'm going to spend the majority of the day on a job search because I can't be unemployed anymore (even though its only been like less than 24 hours)
I really wish for my birthday my mom would get me a new cell phone because the one I have is breaking in half like the dickens. It's so hard to talk to anyone cause the calls cut out due to wire malfunctions. A couple thousand button shells would be nice too, considering I really do have to jump back on the button wagon because It really was the most amount of money I could have made in the shortest amount of time.
I really miss Corey and I hope her tour is going well. I wish i could frolick in Wisconsin with a cheese hat and run from tornados and play for honkies with her.
in other news Kurtis and I are really photogenic. I don't give a rats ass what any of you internet fuck heads or real life fuck heads think. He makes me happy and I'll beat the piss out of you if you try to take that from me or him. And when I'm done I'll slurp your blood up with a crazy straw
ive fallen in love again with my yellow eye shadow
i am going to knit my way out of this town.
that's my baby!!!
the little prince!
el fin....for now!