(no subject)
Live in disillusion.
Live in deceit.
Live not for what reality is,
But for what you think there was to be.
Veil the eyes with cobwebs,
Better than to see the truth.
When there's nothing left but the silence,
And the shattering heart of stone.
Wading through the remnants,
Of a fallen masquerade.
Bitter sweet revelrie,
Candy-coated to slide down easier.
Swallowed in hopes to live an opiate vision,
Instead to choke on the barbs of ill-placed words.
This dance has lead to everywhere,
But to my own whimsical dreams.
I've walked the path of the righteous,
And danced in the shadow of another.
With hollow whispers as my consort,
My sillibant hissing demons to keep me sheltered away.
To leave me with the questions,
Forever on my mind.
Head bowed in shame,
And serpentine veil of chocolate hue.
Obscuring these windows of a broken soul,
The better to hide my pain.
I'll slide into the background once again,
You'll never know I was here.
Just another faceless devil,
Of a long-winded history.
I stand alone in this journey,
And absolution creeping at my back.
Which way is the road to travel,
To find my place in this world.
Press on with this adventure,
Or find my way back to the void.
Where pleasure is not an option,
Nor is the heartache to be gained.
Disattached from the mortal coil,
It's easier not to be connected.
To feel the tapestry fibers unfurl,
And my illusions come unraveled.
Hopes and aspirations,
Are for the wayward child.
This one has come to recognize,
She is not destined for much of this world.
I stand to gain everything,
Or to lose it all.
A single candle flickering away,
In the radience of an inferno.
Let the light be extinguished,
And I'll pass on in memory.
Let me live this life I've finally wanted,
Or be cast away into the vortex of apathy.
....for all it's worth....
...for whoever listens to humanity's cries...
..give me strength to continue this..
.for I know not if I can.
- Amanda. N. McClowry -
12.24.2005
For the love I fear of losing...