(no subject)
okay
i'm just
blah.
i went to opaline last night with ariela and liz and liz's friend who's name i don't remember :\
i had a really good time though.
i danced A LOT.
i needed it.
if i could be dancing all the time i'd be sooo happy.
now, my vagina is bleeding and my uterus feels like it's going to spontaneously combust. i think that i might pull it out with a coat hanger.
tomorrow is valentines day.
4 year anniversary of my grandmother's death.
i miss her so much.
i don't even know how to describe it.
i just know that i still have this dull ache whenever i think about her.
i miss sitting with her at the kitchen table in her house...watching her smoke her cigarette and talking about everything we could think of.
i miss watching the bad soap opera's with her, and talking about how shocked we were over the melodramatics that occured in the day's episode.
i miss sitting outside with her in the summer.
i miss everything.
i'll never forget her wake and funeral...i didn't cry the whole time. but at the end, at the cemetary, it came time for me to place a rose on her casket. i broke. every inch of my body screamed out and i was on the floor, sobbing so much that i couldn't breathe.
as of yet, that was the hardest thing i've ever had to do.
i love you, mary. i wish you never left.
i'm just
blah.
i went to opaline last night with ariela and liz and liz's friend who's name i don't remember :\
i had a really good time though.
i danced A LOT.
i needed it.
if i could be dancing all the time i'd be sooo happy.
now, my vagina is bleeding and my uterus feels like it's going to spontaneously combust. i think that i might pull it out with a coat hanger.
tomorrow is valentines day.
4 year anniversary of my grandmother's death.
i miss her so much.
i don't even know how to describe it.
i just know that i still have this dull ache whenever i think about her.
i miss sitting with her at the kitchen table in her house...watching her smoke her cigarette and talking about everything we could think of.
i miss watching the bad soap opera's with her, and talking about how shocked we were over the melodramatics that occured in the day's episode.
i miss sitting outside with her in the summer.
i miss everything.
i'll never forget her wake and funeral...i didn't cry the whole time. but at the end, at the cemetary, it came time for me to place a rose on her casket. i broke. every inch of my body screamed out and i was on the floor, sobbing so much that i couldn't breathe.
as of yet, that was the hardest thing i've ever had to do.
i love you, mary. i wish you never left.