(no subject)
I just had a really fun day. I went to Jose's, hung out with him and Brittany and Jeffery and I FINALY met Kat. We wen't to Denny's and I saw Michael Kelly there. He cut his hair and that really upset me for some reason. But he actaully acknowleged my presence. I got a hug, and that felt good.
I need a hug right now. I'm sad. I'm not sure why though. I guess it's because I'm tired of fighting with my mom. We got in a fight yesterday on the way to work and as soon as I got there and closed my door I started crying. I'm sad because I've realised that I have NO respect for my grandmother. I'm sad because my best friend is gone. I'm sad because my brother's are gone. I'm sad because I miss Logan. Something is different and I don't like that. I liked how it was. I'm sad because Mike looks at Ellora the way I've only dreamed of a guy looking at me. When I see the way he looks at her, I know he's not with her because she puts out or anything like that. He is with her because he loves her more than anything. He looks at her the way Justin looks at Kim, like he never even want's to blink because he's afraid she'll be gone when he opens his eyes. I'm sad that I fucked things up so much with him and Michael. I almost wish that we'd never gone out or any of that. I know that I'm supposed to learn something from all of this, but I really really wish sometimes that we'd just stayed friends so I could be happy. I'm usually very happy, then I get like this. This is better than I'd usually be at a down point though. I've gotten better. I think it's because now when someone makes me upset I tell them. I have a breaking point. That's why Mom and I got in that fight the other day. I told her I was tired of hearing her complain about me going to school and that it really hurt that I put so much work into it and now all she does is trash it. She got pissed and pretty much just yelled at me, so I just turned my cd player up and ignored her.
Okay, I feel better after that little rant. People need to comment.
Crystal
I need a hug right now. I'm sad. I'm not sure why though. I guess it's because I'm tired of fighting with my mom. We got in a fight yesterday on the way to work and as soon as I got there and closed my door I started crying. I'm sad because I've realised that I have NO respect for my grandmother. I'm sad because my best friend is gone. I'm sad because my brother's are gone. I'm sad because I miss Logan. Something is different and I don't like that. I liked how it was. I'm sad because Mike looks at Ellora the way I've only dreamed of a guy looking at me. When I see the way he looks at her, I know he's not with her because she puts out or anything like that. He is with her because he loves her more than anything. He looks at her the way Justin looks at Kim, like he never even want's to blink because he's afraid she'll be gone when he opens his eyes. I'm sad that I fucked things up so much with him and Michael. I almost wish that we'd never gone out or any of that. I know that I'm supposed to learn something from all of this, but I really really wish sometimes that we'd just stayed friends so I could be happy. I'm usually very happy, then I get like this. This is better than I'd usually be at a down point though. I've gotten better. I think it's because now when someone makes me upset I tell them. I have a breaking point. That's why Mom and I got in that fight the other day. I told her I was tired of hearing her complain about me going to school and that it really hurt that I put so much work into it and now all she does is trash it. She got pissed and pretty much just yelled at me, so I just turned my cd player up and ignored her.
Okay, I feel better after that little rant. People need to comment.
Crystal