(no subject)
So many things have been going on lately I don't know what to do. A lot of things have been happening I have mixed emotions. If someone asks me how I feel I don't know how to answer, because it is always changing.
First off, my grandmother is in the hospital with pneumonia. She is 74, has emphysema, she is on oxygen, and still continues to smoke. She has been living with my family since April 1st. She will die with us too. She will be returning home tomorrow but will be on Hospice. That means that the hospital will do whatever they deem necessary to make her as comfortable as possible at our house until she dies. She will die at my house, in my old bedroom. My grandfather (her husband) died just over a year ago from cancer, lymphoma. She will be dying of emphysema one year later. My mother is doing everything necessary to be with her mother as much as possible. I may not show it but I give my mom so much credit for keeping her head up through losing her father and now her mother is slowly deteriorating and she will pass away in the presence of my family. I pray every day that my grandmother will make it out of this. We don't know how long this will go on for, but we are positive that it won't be too long. You all may have had a family member die, but have you ever had one of them die in your house? My grandmother will die in my house.
We had to put my dog to sleep about 2 weeks ago. She had something called Addison's disease. She would have had to get shots every three weeks and each shot was $150 and we can't afford that so we had to put her to sleep. She was my dog. I am pissed that she had to go away like this.
Sorry for making you all depressed now, I haven't updated in almost a week and I need to let you all know what's going on.
In newspaper us seniors have to write our Senior Good-bye’s because our last paper ever comes out in May. It is going to be really difficult for me to write mine, because there is so much I need to say.
Softball is starting up soon I can't wait. You all should come see me play!
Prom is two weeks away and it is going to be super fun. I have been put in charge of getting our table reservations together. Why they put me in charge, I do not know. Prom is going to be awesome.
Still looking for that right girl. She's out there somewhere I just need to find her.
"She doesn't know what's right for her. Then again, neither do I." -Chris Schanz
"Tomorrow is never promised to anyone." -Walter Payton
I find myself sometimes at night, contemplating why all the things that have gone wrong are going wrong. I ask myself why I haven't had a girlfriend in 5+ years. I don't know why, but I need answers.
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Lostprophets
"Last Train Home"
One! Two! Three!
To every broken heart in here
Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
She told me that it's all part of the choices that you make
Even when you think you're right
You have to give to take
But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today
But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love
I wonder if you're listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here
But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today
But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love
Well we sing if we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing if it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason to ever fall in love
But we sing
If we're going no where
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing with out a reason to never fall in love
To never fall in love again