Admittiing. Sorta...With lots of random thoughts
I guess I will write a bit about it....Sorta talking to myself. Sorta.......Maybe while i'm writing I can figure it out............
I need to get rid of my anger, depression, and ect. I know that is what causes me to feel....off.... like this. I mean, I know i have felt like this forever, but I also have had depression forever. And when I'm happy & distracted, I can't think about it. It goes away. But, right now, i feel like i'm in quicksand. I struggle and struggle to get out but I'm suck and I just get deeper and deeper. But, if If don't do any, I still go get deeper in it. Is there any escaping? *sigh* I hate being able to think. I love him, but before this one guy showed up, it wasn't a problem. I know its his fault. But, i know he doesn't mean to. He doesn't even know i have this problem.........
I hardly know him, yet I love him. Its actually probably just a teenager crush.......But, what he is, it makes me think of what he is that triggers mine problem. I know that makes no since for anybody reading this, if somebody does.......Probably not. Oh well. Its just, certain subjects get brought up and if they stay up for more then a few minutes, then I think about it. I mean, i know what I'm not. But I don't know what I am.................I don't know what these feelings are.......Why is life so hard like this.
Today it was really bad. Major problems.........Plus, it doesn't help that I've been like this for a little. I can't wait for school. I hate school, but it distracts me.......So, then I will hopefully forget about it. Thats what i love about me. If i get distracted long enough, i will forget everything. Feelings, thoughts, everything. It comes in handy at times like these.
These feeling is just a phase of confusion.
I hate my height. Totally random and off the subject....but damn....I'm short........
Weight.....I care but I don't.........I mean, i'm sorta skinny. But I'm thin enough.....soo......
Boobs......Well, mine........I hate them......sometimes i like them. But right now......I hate them....sorta........yeah......
My butt......no comment or anything about it. Its just there......
Another random thought, but I wonder what it is like to have a dick.........I always wanted to know. Dicks are better then a girl thing (Total mind block.....I just can't think of what its called.....fuck.......).....unless its on a hot chick.....then I think i would prefer that part on chicks. But, to make it even more fun, i hate sucking them........dicks i mean.....
I have long fingers.....
Not sure why, but i'm obsessed with body parts............
I wish i could die by a gun to my head......not sure why. I don't want to die in a bed or some normal death...........
I need to get rid of my anger, depression, and ect. I know that is what causes me to feel....off.... like this. I mean, I know i have felt like this forever, but I also have had depression forever. And when I'm happy & distracted, I can't think about it. It goes away. But, right now, i feel like i'm in quicksand. I struggle and struggle to get out but I'm suck and I just get deeper and deeper. But, if If don't do any, I still go get deeper in it. Is there any escaping? *sigh* I hate being able to think. I love him, but before this one guy showed up, it wasn't a problem. I know its his fault. But, i know he doesn't mean to. He doesn't even know i have this problem.........
I hardly know him, yet I love him. Its actually probably just a teenager crush.......But, what he is, it makes me think of what he is that triggers mine problem. I know that makes no since for anybody reading this, if somebody does.......Probably not. Oh well. Its just, certain subjects get brought up and if they stay up for more then a few minutes, then I think about it. I mean, i know what I'm not. But I don't know what I am.................I don't know what these feelings are.......Why is life so hard like this.
Today it was really bad. Major problems.........Plus, it doesn't help that I've been like this for a little. I can't wait for school. I hate school, but it distracts me.......So, then I will hopefully forget about it. Thats what i love about me. If i get distracted long enough, i will forget everything. Feelings, thoughts, everything. It comes in handy at times like these.
These feeling is just a phase of confusion.
I hate my height. Totally random and off the subject....but damn....I'm short........
Weight.....I care but I don't.........I mean, i'm sorta skinny. But I'm thin enough.....soo......
Boobs......Well, mine........I hate them......sometimes i like them. But right now......I hate them....sorta........yeah......
My butt......no comment or anything about it. Its just there......
Another random thought, but I wonder what it is like to have a dick.........I always wanted to know. Dicks are better then a girl thing (Total mind block.....I just can't think of what its called.....fuck.......).....unless its on a hot chick.....then I think i would prefer that part on chicks. But, to make it even more fun, i hate sucking them........dicks i mean.....
I have long fingers.....
Not sure why, but i'm obsessed with body parts............
I wish i could die by a gun to my head......not sure why. I don't want to die in a bed or some normal death...........