i can't remember to forget you
i don't really have much to say, but i am literally bored to tears at work so i thought i'd try to distract myself.
i've realized that this is the worst part of the year. i always seem to lose it around the 3rd week of february. i don't really feel anxious or anything, it's just the waking up and going out in the cold to a pointless job, staring at grey skies all day long and making no progress whatsoever in losing weight/making life changes/improving anything, makes me want to curl up in a ball and die. maybe i should be on some sort on anti-depressant, but they'll just make me fatter, even more lethargic, and i've never had much success with them in the past. and i can't afford therapy. boo.
i think work would be better if i didn't feel so useless. give me a reason to work hard. treat me like i'm a real employee. the money used to be (and should be) a huge motivator, but it's not working anymore.
and those dreams are back again. the ones where everyone i've ever known appears and i wake up feeling sad and missing people i thought i'd managed to forget. maybe these are the result of too much Advil PM. plus, the cat has been SO bad. she never wants us to sleep.
at least Lost has been really good. it's the highlight of the week. and i got a beautiful necklace from Tiffany's for Valentine's Day. which we spent watching Lost, haha.
sometimes i feel like the oldest 26-year-old on the planet. seriously.
this was a bad entry. sorry.
i've realized that this is the worst part of the year. i always seem to lose it around the 3rd week of february. i don't really feel anxious or anything, it's just the waking up and going out in the cold to a pointless job, staring at grey skies all day long and making no progress whatsoever in losing weight/making life changes/improving anything, makes me want to curl up in a ball and die. maybe i should be on some sort on anti-depressant, but they'll just make me fatter, even more lethargic, and i've never had much success with them in the past. and i can't afford therapy. boo.
i think work would be better if i didn't feel so useless. give me a reason to work hard. treat me like i'm a real employee. the money used to be (and should be) a huge motivator, but it's not working anymore.
and those dreams are back again. the ones where everyone i've ever known appears and i wake up feeling sad and missing people i thought i'd managed to forget. maybe these are the result of too much Advil PM. plus, the cat has been SO bad. she never wants us to sleep.
at least Lost has been really good. it's the highlight of the week. and i got a beautiful necklace from Tiffany's for Valentine's Day. which we spent watching Lost, haha.
sometimes i feel like the oldest 26-year-old on the planet. seriously.
this was a bad entry. sorry.