and the skin you call your home;
Is it totally selfish for me to want my friends to all live near me? Damn it. It seems like everyone is either already far away or is about to move far away. And to me, anything over 30 minutes is far. Gray and Esther live in Brighton, which certainly isn't THAT far... but I hate having to drive 1.5 hours every time I want to see them. Alec is in Chicago. Liz is in Costa Rica right now, and San Francisco after that. Eric is in Las Vegas. JJ and Simon will be in Philadelphia sooner than later. Graham and Olivia are plotting their move to New York. Matt is one of my only friends to remain here... but I wouldn't be surprised if he took off to the West Coast with Liz. Luckily Rebecca and Tyler are under contract to buy a house here (well, in Buxton) otherwise I'd be completely alone.
It's actually pretty depressing when I really sit and think about it.
It's not that I have no desire to travel -- I do. I think Nate does, too. We're definitely in a better place to potentially move out of Maine now that Nate is no longer working at the store. And my job is such that I could do it anywhere. The familiarity is attractive, of course, and we do truly LOVE Maine. Plus my Mom is here, as are his parents and his sister. It's a tough thing to think about. I have been drawn to California FOREVER. Not sure what it is, exactly. But the idea of San Francisco is heavenly to me. I've never even been any further west than Chicago, but California is just CALLING to me. Sigh.
I feel like every post I've made in the past few days has been sad and depressed. I don't think that's really my general mood during the past week but it's possible. I just feel like I want a change in scenery. I am getting tired of this apartment, in some ways I am tired of this town, tired of this state. I know this is where I want to end up, someday, but I've never been convinced that this is where I want to be ALWAYS. Nate seems a bit more content to just stay here... I can't imagine him willingly moving away from his family. It makes me sad, too, but I'm not planning on packing up and moving somewhere else FOREVER. I just want to explore a bit. Is that so bad?
It's actually pretty depressing when I really sit and think about it.
It's not that I have no desire to travel -- I do. I think Nate does, too. We're definitely in a better place to potentially move out of Maine now that Nate is no longer working at the store. And my job is such that I could do it anywhere. The familiarity is attractive, of course, and we do truly LOVE Maine. Plus my Mom is here, as are his parents and his sister. It's a tough thing to think about. I have been drawn to California FOREVER. Not sure what it is, exactly. But the idea of San Francisco is heavenly to me. I've never even been any further west than Chicago, but California is just CALLING to me. Sigh.
I feel like every post I've made in the past few days has been sad and depressed. I don't think that's really my general mood during the past week but it's possible. I just feel like I want a change in scenery. I am getting tired of this apartment, in some ways I am tired of this town, tired of this state. I know this is where I want to end up, someday, but I've never been convinced that this is where I want to be ALWAYS. Nate seems a bit more content to just stay here... I can't imagine him willingly moving away from his family. It makes me sad, too, but I'm not planning on packing up and moving somewhere else FOREVER. I just want to explore a bit. Is that so bad?