[non] this is us
this is us
this is an outline of us, of we, of you and me. using six elementary questions, I tell our story.
this is us
who
two young boys seeking quiet solace in a chaotic world
seeking comfort from the subtle insults, silent competition
nice to meet you, I said
he nodded in response and I knew
this was the start of something magical
led me to their room and brought me to the front
he will be joining us from now on, I heard him say
they looked at me with distaste
who did you sleep with, I heard them sneer
I looked to him in apprehension and he smiled
they didn’t like me
but he did, and that was all that mattered
we learnt to dance through our pain
to sing through our tiredness, smile through our tears
we learnt what it was like to love and be loved in return
quiet stars emanating the prettiest starlight
I saw them beneath my eyelids every time we kissed
like a slow fire, keeping me warm on frigid nights
we were young reckless unafraid
but as we loved, youthful abandon gave way to budding maturity
ripped jeans in the closet made space for tapered designer pants
we changed, yet we didn’t change
what
our love is a fearless dragon,
gallant and undauntable in the skies as you
take my hand and soar above the storm.
our love is a wine-red flower,
deep arcane elegant
standing out in a meadow of pastel blue yellow pink.
our love is a vast galaxy,
constellations and starbursts filling my lungs
as I breathe the stars that were once your eyes.
when
was it when you swept past me in the corridor
with your fringe pushed back and sleeves rolled up
sweat running down your arms
outlining your muscles
was it when you held out a hand for me to grab
when I fell in the dark and couldn’t find strength
was it when you stood with me against Them
defended, protected me when they thrust their newly-sharpened daggers
was it when you carded your fingers through my hair
while I laid at your bedside
worn and weary from battle
was it when you smiled at me halfway through the show
letting me know that even amongst this chaos
that I am not forgotten
I don’t remember the start
every day I fall in love with you, and each time
it feels like the first
where
I remember Beijing
amongst exhaust pollution and seasonal dust storms
in front of the fuzzy sunset
you said look
our love shines through the fog like the lurid redness of this sun
I remember Singapore
with her sunny days and warm nights
before the breathtaking skyline by the river
you put your lips to the back of my head and mouthed
I love you
I remember Bangkok
amidst the angry honks from traffic-stuck cars and the stink of octane
you pulled me on to the pavement as a motorbike whizzed past and said
careful, for what would I do without you
was it Los Angeles
Hong Kong?
or was it right here in Seoul
between its littered streets and unsightly telephone lines
that I fell in love with you
why
fell in love with the way you
almost fall to the floor when you wake in the morning,
long legs tangled in comforting covers made warm by your body,
the warmth that I’ve come to enjoy.
you grunt a good morning my way,
hoarse and throaty and everything in between,
the very embodiment of ‘sexy’, you are.
you fight every day,
not guns and knives and bloodshed,
but end up with the same tattered body and broken weapons anyway.
you ice my ankle when I sprain it,
rub my bruises and blow at my wounds,
until all I feel is affection running through my veins.
you cover my eyes with your large reassuring hand,
a silent command I heed.
I shut my eyes beneath your touch, and smile into the front of your coat.
how
some days I will go to bed in your oversized supreme sweater and wake up with it riding up my stomach
I will think of you all through the night
permeate my dreams like the silence between us sometimes
some days you will ruffle my hair when I burrow myself deeper into the blankets in the morning
perhaps unwilling to get up
perhaps just wanting to be spoilt by you
some days I will text you in the pockets of alone time I get between events and then hesitate to send the message
wondering if I would be disturbing your rest
I know you don’t fall asleep easily
some days you will write me a letter and stick it in an envelope
place it in my favorite leather jacket
I take it out in the van while everyone else naps and remember
this is how we love
this is an outline of us, of we, of you and me. using six elementary questions, I tell our story.
this is us
who
two young boys seeking quiet solace in a chaotic world
seeking comfort from the subtle insults, silent competition
nice to meet you, I said
he nodded in response and I knew
this was the start of something magical
led me to their room and brought me to the front
he will be joining us from now on, I heard him say
they looked at me with distaste
who did you sleep with, I heard them sneer
I looked to him in apprehension and he smiled
they didn’t like me
but he did, and that was all that mattered
we learnt to dance through our pain
to sing through our tiredness, smile through our tears
we learnt what it was like to love and be loved in return
quiet stars emanating the prettiest starlight
I saw them beneath my eyelids every time we kissed
like a slow fire, keeping me warm on frigid nights
we were young reckless unafraid
but as we loved, youthful abandon gave way to budding maturity
ripped jeans in the closet made space for tapered designer pants
we changed, yet we didn’t change
what
our love is a fearless dragon,
gallant and undauntable in the skies as you
take my hand and soar above the storm.
our love is a wine-red flower,
deep arcane elegant
standing out in a meadow of pastel blue yellow pink.
our love is a vast galaxy,
constellations and starbursts filling my lungs
as I breathe the stars that were once your eyes.
when
was it when you swept past me in the corridor
with your fringe pushed back and sleeves rolled up
sweat running down your arms
outlining your muscles
was it when you held out a hand for me to grab
when I fell in the dark and couldn’t find strength
was it when you stood with me against Them
defended, protected me when they thrust their newly-sharpened daggers
was it when you carded your fingers through my hair
while I laid at your bedside
worn and weary from battle
was it when you smiled at me halfway through the show
letting me know that even amongst this chaos
that I am not forgotten
I don’t remember the start
every day I fall in love with you, and each time
it feels like the first
where
I remember Beijing
amongst exhaust pollution and seasonal dust storms
in front of the fuzzy sunset
you said look
our love shines through the fog like the lurid redness of this sun
I remember Singapore
with her sunny days and warm nights
before the breathtaking skyline by the river
you put your lips to the back of my head and mouthed
I love you
I remember Bangkok
amidst the angry honks from traffic-stuck cars and the stink of octane
you pulled me on to the pavement as a motorbike whizzed past and said
careful, for what would I do without you
was it Los Angeles
Hong Kong?
or was it right here in Seoul
between its littered streets and unsightly telephone lines
that I fell in love with you
why
fell in love with the way you
almost fall to the floor when you wake in the morning,
long legs tangled in comforting covers made warm by your body,
the warmth that I’ve come to enjoy.
you grunt a good morning my way,
hoarse and throaty and everything in between,
the very embodiment of ‘sexy’, you are.
you fight every day,
not guns and knives and bloodshed,
but end up with the same tattered body and broken weapons anyway.
you ice my ankle when I sprain it,
rub my bruises and blow at my wounds,
until all I feel is affection running through my veins.
you cover my eyes with your large reassuring hand,
a silent command I heed.
I shut my eyes beneath your touch, and smile into the front of your coat.
how
some days I will go to bed in your oversized supreme sweater and wake up with it riding up my stomach
I will think of you all through the night
permeate my dreams like the silence between us sometimes
some days you will ruffle my hair when I burrow myself deeper into the blankets in the morning
perhaps unwilling to get up
perhaps just wanting to be spoilt by you
some days I will text you in the pockets of alone time I get between events and then hesitate to send the message
wondering if I would be disturbing your rest
I know you don’t fall asleep easily
some days you will write me a letter and stick it in an envelope
place it in my favorite leather jacket
I take it out in the van while everyone else naps and remember
this is how we love