So Tired Chapter 10
Title: So Tired
Author: Crowley_Gal
Characters: Dean, Sam, John. Some names you may recognize but AU, for example Benny is Dean's math teacher.
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: Teen for swearing
Word-count: ?
Spoilers: none really
Warnings: Dean likes to swear. Mentions anorexia. May be triggery
Summary: The boys settle down for an extended period while John's away on hunt. It might be all fun and games for Sam but Dean's having a hell of a time trying to keep everything together.
Disclaimer : I don't own anything and I'm not making any money from this.
Author's Note: I can't believe I finally finished this chapter. I apologize profusely for the how long it took. A combination of real life craziness and a lack of motivation. Even if I'm not writing about whats happening on the show specifically its my enthusiasm for it that fuels my muse. In the back half of the season and so far this year I find nothing to get excited about. Still despite that I love the character of Dean Winchester. That said I will do my best to make sure I finish this story and the planned sequel. There is a key scene in this chapter that will play out much more in part 2. I just ask for a bit of patience.
Chapter 10
KNOCK KNOCK
The day Dean had been dreading since the moment their father announced they were getting an apartment was here. The rent was due and he had no money.
It took a lot of fancy tap dancing and an academy award winning performance but he managed to convince the landlord he'd have the money by the end of the next day.
He had no idea how he was going to get the money, other than selling himself on a street corner (hell to the no!) but he bought himself 24 hours.
He tried to get a hold of his father to no avail. Both Bobby and Pastor Jim were unavailable.
He decided to go for a run because the mindless exercise usually freed up his mind and he might be able to come up with a solution. After doing 3 miles, he wanted to do more but he did have to be careful about how many calories he was burning, he headed home. He knew something was wrong as he approached his apartment. He knew that he locked the door but it was open. Wishing he had a gun, he tentatively approached and peeked around the corner. There wasn't a monster or a creature. It was something much much worse.
It was a man. He was looking haggard and his suit had the rumbled appearance of someone who had too much work and not enough time or resources to do it properly. It was the stereotypical look of a social worker who had been on the job to long.
Shit! He probably hadn't been as convincing as he thought with the landlord. His stomach dropped and he felt like he was going to puke. His heart started pounding so hard he was surprised it hadn't come right through his chest.
Sammy!
"I see you there, come in. We need to talk," the voice said full of false concern.
"Sam!" Dean called as he entered the apartment.
Then the man said 3 words that caused the blood in Dean's veins to turn to ice. The thing he feared the most. "We have him. Tell me whats going on. What happened?" The man said in a voice that sounded identical to his dad's.
Dean hesitated wondering how to explain this. "I just went out."
"What?"
"Just for a second. I'm sorry."
Just when Dean figured things couldn't get any worse, the man in front of him suddenly morphed into his father. "I told you not to leave this room. I told you not to let him out of your sight."
He could feel his dad glare at him. He was dreading what came next. "Please dad don't," Dean hated himself for begging. His dad opened his mouth and said...
"Dean.....Dean wake up," The dad figure said in Sam's voice.
"Wha....whas..going on?" Dean mumbled in confusion. He opened his eyes and looked around the darkened bedroom. His head was still thundering away as Dean tried to contain his fear. The nightmare had seemed so real.
"You were mumbling something about Dad."
"I dreamed I showed up at class naked," Dean said trying to change the subject.
"For you, that's not a nightmare. It's a dream come true. You were asking Dad not to do something. What was it?" Sam asked genuinely concerned. Whatever the nightmare was he knew it was a bad one by the way Dean had been trashing around.
"He wouldn't let me go on a date," Dean deflected.
"Fine," Sam huffed. "Don't tell me. I don't care." He climbed back in bed. "I just want to help."
"Whatever you say," Dean replied as he left the room to go take a leak and try to get himself back under control.
The thing was he knew that there was a part of Sam that did want to help, that his concern tonight was real and Dean appreciated it. Sam often, though, failed to realize that the little things would help him far more than a chick flick caring and sharing moment.
Dean had hoped that making Sam be the one to buy the groceries he might have learned a lesson. It worked to a partial extent. In the two weeks since then he'd stopped bitching about what was bought but that was about it. The part about rationing seemed to have gone right over his head. Dean had calculated that if they each took one sandwich for lunch the bread should have lasted but with how fast it had gone, Sam must be taking two. It's not that Dean begrudged him the food, it was just that if they weren't careful they were going to run about before Dean got paid again. He was already $15 dollars behind since he'd had to dip into Sam's paper money to cover the shortage from when Sam had shopped and he'd been trying to get back on track.
Sam had also been acting more mysteriously as well. Dean nearly had a heart attack one day when he came home from work and found the apartment empty and Sam nowhere to be found. He'd been one minute away from a full scale panic attack when Sam waltzed in the door. When he attempted to find out where his brother had been, it lead to an argument about being normal and how that took priority over responsibility.
All Dean could think of was what would have happened if their dad had been home.
I just went out. I'm Sorry.
There would have been hell to pay.
I thought I told you not to leave this room.
Dean's butt would have been the one cashing the check.
He was worried about his weight. There wasn't much food so he was already skipping breakfast and only taking an apple for lunch. Supper was the only time he was really getting any real amount of food but even that wasn't much. Running was the way he usually cleared his head but he was avoiding it because he was worried about burning to many calories.
That was seriously pissing him off because it was the way he calmed himself down. He wasn't fucking allowed to do it because it could send him back to the funny farm. He wasn't fucking anorexic. He was trying to put on weight for fuck's sake. There was nothing he hated more than that label. There were sometimes when people just didn't feel hungry. Didn't mean he needed to be treated like a girl? How the fuck was he supposed to put on weight when there was nothing to eat?
Sam could also help with the house work. He'd fulfilled his half of the bet and cleaned the apartment one time. Dean often came home from work to find dishes in the sink, laundry to do and papers and books scattered about. He tried to talk to Sam about it only to be told his brother was too busy with schoolwork, soccer practice and other stuff he refused to elaborate on.
He was also getting increasingly worried about Money, It was almost December and getting colder so the heat had to put on which meant the power was going up. Their dad had been home recently so Dean knew there was another large phone bill just around the corner and the rent was due in a week. With the anniversary of their mom's death only recently passed and his dad's pursuit of her killer it wasn't unreasonable to assume that their father would forget to leave the rent. So if their dad didn't come through Dean was going to be on his own for $700.
If Sam truly wanted to help, he could start by realizing all this stuff. He could use some of his paper money to buy a few basic staples, especially since he was eating far more than normal. He could make sure he came home on time so he didn't have to worry about their dad showing up unexpectedly. He could do a fucking sink of dishes once in a while.
So no caring and sharing wasn't going to help a damn thing.
He was so fucking exhausted but between the nightmares, and the worries he was barely getting four hours sleep a night. He was feeling like he was failing his dad by not being able to keep it all together but he didn't know where to turn.
"What am I supposed to do?" Dean whispered in the darkness of his bedroom.
-----
He'd never been a great student at the best of times so all this was starting to take a toll on the work he was handing in. He'd done his best just to get something on paper and have it to hand in to his teachers. He'd been told to re-do the last couple of days work so he had 3 days worth of homework due tomorrow and he had to work tonight.
To make things worse it was Wednesday. There was a customer that liked to come in and shop for about a $200 grocery order about 15 minutes before the store closed. She'd need help to find everything thing on her list, change her mind several times, and argue over the price of everything. Since FoodWorld was so cheap they didn't do anything to stop her. It was usually a good 45 minutes to an hour after closing before you could get out of there. Since there was no union the cheap ass bastards stopped paying him the minute the store was supposed to be closed.
So by the time he got home, and reassured himself that Sam was there, it was close to 10:30 and he had 3 days worth of school work to get through. There was no way he was going to manage to make it acceptable (fucking inclusion) and he'd get told to redo it. He'd be lucky if they didn't call his father. The only good thing was that when he finally got to bed, well after 3 am, he was so wiped he was asleep before his head hit the pillow and the nightmares stayed away.
--------
"Dean! DEAN!" He could hear a voice far off in the distance calling him.
"Five more min..." he slurred.
"Dean, get up," the voice insisted.
"Wha...?" Dean asked in confusion.
"You're going to be late for school."
"What?" Dean said again and reluctantly opened his eyes and stared at the clock in disbelief. He had to be up an hour ago. SHIT!!!
""Why didn't you wake me?" Dean accused his brother.
"I thought you were up," Sam replied. He had meant to wake him, but he wanted to make lunch for him and Bones before did but it slipped his mind as he planned his day. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "If you hurry you can make it on time."
"The papers," Dean reminded his brother. It took him about a half hour to deliver them and about 20 minutes to walk to school. There was no way he wasn't going to be late. "Can you help me?" Dean asked.
"I promised Ian that we'd meet and finalize the plans for our science project. I'll be late if I don't leave now."
"Forget it, Sammy. Just go," Dean said tiredly as he dragged himself out of bed. He really just wanted to crawl back into bed but if he skipped he'd be a full 5 days behind. He sucked it up and got out of bed and started to get dressed.
----------
""Mr. Winchester, your late," Mr. Lafitte said to him as Dean slipped into the door about 15 minutes after the bell.
"Sorry sir, overslept," Dean mumbled and slipped into his seat and tried not to yawn as his teacher finished going over the morning announcements. He was glad that his first class was math because then he didn't have to move.
He was dreading Inclusion though because he knew what was coming.
------
Benny tried to look like he was going over his notes for the days lesson but he was looking at his troublesome student. He had to admit he was a little worried about him. While he had no illusions about a Lifetime movie ending like the one he did not watch last weekend, where the teacher inspired the lazy apathetic student and he went onto college and med school and graduated at the top of his class. Some people just did not like school. The thing that had Benny disappointed was that Dean appeared to stop trying.
He was never going to be a straight A student, although he was smart enough and could do it if he applied himself, but he was improving and making an effort. So what changed? If Benny had to guess it seemed to date back to the health class project on anorexia when Dean had the near panic attack. Benny tried to talk to him about it but the more he asked the more Dean appeared to close down so he dropped it. Now he wasn't doing assignments and was late.
He was tempted to ask Castiel if he noticed anything or if Dean had said something but it was hard enough being in a school with two dads who were both teachers. He did not need a reputation as an informant on top of that.
As much as he wanted to speak to Dean right then and there he knew it would be better to wait. "Dean we need to talk later during inclusion. "
"Yes sir," he mumbled as if he had been expecting it.
-----
Time was a funny thing. Normally school dragged on and felt never ending. Today it flew by much to Dean's dismay. He wished he could skip inclusion and just fake being sick and go home but he knew he'd just be delaying the inevitable. Like his dad's lectures it was best just to get it over with.
He entered inclusion much like someone going to the electric chair. He'd spent the day trying to come up with ways that this wouldn't end with Mr. Lafitte wanting a meeting with his dad.
It was two weeks past the anniversary of his mother's death and his dad was on a hunt for her killer. A phone call regarding trivial matters like Dean not doing homework was only going to serve to seriously piss him off. The resulting lecture and punishment was would make this meeting look like child's play.
After the days lesson on note taking, Mr. Lafitte came over to him carrying a large folder. When he opened it Dean recognized the work he'd been turning in the last few days. Lots of red pens had gotten a workout. He saw lots of D's and a few Fs. So it was worse than he thought.
"Sorry, sir," Dean blurted out before his teacher could say anything. It usually didn't lessen his punishments but he knew his dad had little tolerance for excuses. Admit you screwed up and take responsibility.
"I'm not mad, Dean, just concerned," his teacher answered.
That threw Dean off. Anger he could deal with. Concern and disappointment led to him getting committed into a psychiatric hospital. "About what?" Dean asked, although he knew.
"I'm concerned about the decline in the quality of your work."
"Oh that," Dean said trying to make it sound like it was no big deal. "You heard of Murphy's Law. Well a few days ago, I had one of those days. My dad had to work late, I had to get my brother from school, then he needed help with his homework. He worse than Cas when it comes to math. Then I got called to work and ended up being late getting home. It was late before I got a chance to start my homework and from there it just seems like I could just never catch up. I was late this morning because my brother had to be at school early and I had to deliver his papers for him." He finished his speech with a puppydog face that would make his brother proud.
"Still it's like these last couple of weeks you've just stopped trying."
"When you're like me if you fall one day behind it gets hard to catch up."
"Like what?" Benny asked.
"In the dum...In inclusion." Shit. This was a road he wished he had never gone down.
"You aren't dumb," Benny said firmly. "You're very good at thinking on your feet. I mean look at the way you came up with that BS story you just tried to sell me. If you were feeling overwhelmed why didn't you bring this up in last week. I've asked you several times if things were okay?"
Crap. There was nothing Dean hated more than teachers who cared. Still despite everything, Dean was tempted to want to spill everything because Mr. Lafitte was always nice to him and he seemed like he cared and genuinely wanted to help. But Dean knew there was no way he could tell him. That would be as good as calling social services himself. "Things are okay. I just got behind," he insisted.
"It's just that it seems to be overnight. Look at this." Benny pulled out Dean's English essay on Poe. "You got an A- so I know your capable, but your History essay looks like it was written an hour before class and is pretty much just a summary of the textbook."
He was good. That's exactly when Dean wrote it.
"I'm going to give you a chance to convince me not to call your dad and discuss this with him," Benny said seriously.
Think dumbass, Dean told himself. You're a bloody Winchester. You lie convincingly for a living. "I guess...I guess I took on a little too much," Dean ground out as if it hurt his pride to say that. "I'm trying to save up to buy a car. I promised my dad that when I took my part time job I wouldn't let it interfere with my school work. I'm getting pretty close to my goal and when I got offered some extra hours, I took them without really giving thought. Then there was one day I didn't get everything done and I guess I just let it get away from me. I didn't want to admit I messed up." He wanted to plead for Mr. Lafitte to not call his dad but he didn't want to lay it on too thick.
"I still think this is something you need to discuss with your dad. If your job is too much..."
"I did speak to him," Dean lied smoothly. "He was going to make me give up the job at first but we reached a compromise. After this week's schedule I'm only going to be working weekends. " He'd just have to hope that Mr. Lafitte or Mr. Novack didn't shop at FoodWorld on days he was working. He'd been thinking about asking for more hours, not less.
Benny contemplated what the young man before him was saying. It sounded plausible and completely believable but he still felt that it wasn't the complete truth but he didn't want to accuse Dean of lying. It just seemed a little too convenient that he had already spoken to his father. "I'll make you a deal," Benny offered. "I'll give you until Monday to catch up. I want all this work re-done. If I get a satisfactory report of for all your teachers at Inclusion I won't have to call your father."
"Deal," Dean said quickly. "Thanks sir."
"Dean, I mean it, if you feel like your falling behind, come to me. It doesn't have to get this far."
"Yes sir," Dean mumbled and pulled his English book towards him, grateful for the reprieve.
------
Unknown Location
John Winchester pulled the Impala up into the parking lot of The Dew Drop Inn. It was a sleezy motel that rented rooms by the hour but he picked it for its proximity to the Dew Drop Inn Pub and Sports Bar across the street.
He was getting so close to finding out who the bastards were that killed Mary, but he was still so far away. He'd had several leads about women who had died in a nursery fire. One turned out to be a real case of faulty wiring, another murder and an attempted cover up, another insurance fraud and arson case.
He was pissed off because he'd taken a lot of risks. From the large cash advance to on a stolen credit card, to leaving the boys alone so much and risking someone getting suspicious, and for there to be no pay off was not sitting well with him. His plan was been get stinking drunk, spend tomorrow sleeping it off, and then head home and pack up the boys and cut his loses.
He had just sat down at the bar with a double shot of Johnny Walker Blue (why not go out with a bang) when his phone rang. He decided to ignore it and let it go to voice mail. He downed his shot, ordered another, and then another and was about to go for a beer when his phone rang again.
"Damnit," John grumbled. "Fuck off."
"Everything okay?" the bartender asked.
"Peachy," John grumbled. "Just damn telemarketers driving me up the wall." He tapped his glass for another shot.
RING RING
"Persistent aren't they. Just tell them to take you off their list and threaten to sue if they don't. It works like a charm for me."
"I'll keep that in mind. Hit me again." John reached for his phone. "This better be fucking important."
"Mr. Winchester you don't know me and my name isn't important but I have the information you've been looking for. "
"Excuse me," John replied as he threw several bills down on the bar and walked to where he could have privacy. "Why the fuck should I believe a word you sayÉ" He didn't recognize the voice. It was female with a thick British accent.
"You're wife's name is Mary. Your sons are Sam and Dean. Sam was 6 months old at the time of her murder."
The fact that she knew so much about him was not sitting right. He felt his fingers tighten on the phone. "You could have found that out in any newspaper."
"Proof. Check a child named Max Miller." The line went dead. As much as John wanted to ignore it, he knew he couldn't. A quick phone call to Dean to let him know he was going to be a few more days, a call to one of his contacts and he found himself headed for Indiana.
-------
Bela Talbot smiled as she hung up hung up the phone and dialed her employer. This was going to be like taking candy from a baby. "Hook has been baited and accepted."
----------
As Dean walked home from FoodWorld that night he was seriously wishing he could just work weekends. This job sucked massively. Why the hell did parents take their kids food shopping when they were sick? More importantly with 2 other service clerks on that night why the hell was he the one who was tapped to clean up the mess? He passed the hardware store and saw that the help wanted sign was still in the window. He sighed.
He had checked the job when Cas mentioned it and stocking shelves with tools sounded right up his alley. No dealing with customers. It was back shift though. He didn't think he could do it and go to school at the same time. It was hard enough keeping up now.
----
Sam was finding that the more time he spent in his hideout the more time he wanted to be there. He`d been tempted to just stay there all night but Dean was on his period and he`d have a hissy fit if Sam did that. He wasn`t a kid anymore and he hated being treated like one.
When he heard his brother on their phone with their dad a plan began to form in his mind. He`d tell Dean that there was an away game and spend the weekend with Bones. He used the tips from his paper money and stocked up on some food. His dad had taught him how to build a fire and he had a military grade cold weather sleeping bag. He wasn`t worried about freezing. He almost wished he could tell his friends about the place but decided against it because he wasn`t ready to share it yet. He was hoping to get out the apartment before Dean got home and just leave a note but he'd been invited to Ian's for supper so he went and he had to come home to get his stuff.
"Hey, Sammy, I'm home," Dean called. "Did you leave any dinner?"
"I ate at Ian's," he called back. He gabbed his duffel, took a deep breath and went to tell Dean he was taking off for the weekend.
"Where are you going?" Dean asked before Sam could say a word.
"I have an away game. We're going to Brick County to play Brick Academy. I told you last week remember?"
"No," Dean said firmly. Sam knew he didn't believe him. He wished he came up with a better excuse. Who leaves for an away game at 10 at night?
Sam knew this wasn't going to be a nice thing to do but he was doing this even if he had to sneak out in the middle of the night so he went straight for the jugular by using Dean's trigger word. "I told you. It's not my fault your too stupid to remember."
Whatever his brother had been about too say died on his tongue. Dean face took on an unreadable expression and Sam wondered if maybe that had been a little too harsh. His brother looked like he was about to launch an argument but then he just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Whatever Sam, just check in okay? Just let me know your alright?
"Sure Dean," Sam said and walked out the door.
--------
Damn it!
He didn't need this, not now. Not this weekend. Their dad wasn't supposed to be home until next week but he wasn't the most trustworthy person. It could be 2 weeks, or two days or even 2 hours from now. How was he supposed to concentrate?
He went to the bathroom and popped four Tylenol, not caring if that was too much or not. He headed toward the kitchen, his stomach rumbling, to see if he could rustle up so grub. There should have been enough bread for him to have a sandwich, but all he found was one crust. That meant Sam had taken two sandwiches with him. Spreading peanut butter on the last crust Dean scarfed it down, but it did little to take away that empty feeling in his stomach. He filled up a big glass of water and drank it as fast as he could and then repeated the pattern. It left him feeling bloated and gave him the illusion that he was full. At least for a little while.
He sat down at the table and stared longingly at the door to his bedroom but he needed to get some work done tonight. He had a full 8 hour shift tomorrow and a 4 hour cleaning shift on Sunday, plus 5 days of school work to catch up on. He had no idea how he was going to get all this done.
Sighing, he pulled his physics text book toward him. Get the easy stuff out of the way first.
An archer pulls back 0.75 m on a bow which has a stiffness of 200 N/m. The arrow weighs 50 g. What is the velocity of the arrow immediately after release? Show your work.
This was easy. It could be solved by equating the potential energy of the bow with the kinetic energy of the arrow.
HONK HONK
The young hunter jumped a mile and got up to check to make sure it wasn't the Impala. It wasn't. He tried to return to the problem at hand.
"A bow was a spring. (1/2)kx2, where k is the stiffness and x is the amount the spring is stretched, or compressed." He heard the loud roar of a car.
I thought I told you not to leave this room
I just went out. I'm sorry.
Shit!! He did not need this crap right now. How the fuck was he supposed to concentrate?
Focus on the task at hand.
"Therefore, the potential energy PE of the bow is:PE = (1/2)(200)(0.75)2 = 56.25 J"
He heard heavy footsteps in the hallway.
I thought I told you not to leave this room
I just went out. I'm sorry.
"FUCK!!!" Dean said outloud and swept his hand across the table, sending his note and text book flying. Screw homework! Screw Mr. Lafitte! Screw Inclusion! Screw his dad! Screw Sam! Most of all screw his fucking weight and screw how late it it is and screw anafuckingrexia. Dean grabbed his sneakers and headed out the door.
When he got back an hour later he was exhausted and shaky from not eating. He drank more water and then went to bed.
------
He was late getting for work and knew he wouldn't have time to stop at the bank and get some money for food before going to work. He tried the water trick again but all that did was left him feeling like he wanted to puke. To make matters worse he felt the faint traces of a headache making itself known. He popped some more tylenol and headed out the door.
He found his boss and told him he wasn't feeling great, which wasn't a complete lie, and asked if he could be excused from tomorrows shift. Fortunately this was one supervisor he liked and one who liked him. It helped that Dean knew he looked like crap. He promised to come in the next two Sunday's to make up for it.
Worked was crappy as usual and dragged. The 8 hours felt like 18. He was so happy when he could finally punch out, especially since he starting having dizzy spells. Since yesterday he'd only had a crust of bread and an apple. He headed for the bank.
He put his card in the machine, punched in the code and put in $60.00. He mentally planned what to buy when the machine beeped. He reached down and stopped cold. Instead of 3 crisp 20 dollar bills protruding from the money slot there was an error message flashing on the screen.
Insufficient funds.
What the hell? Mentally calculated his share of his paycheck and again got just $62.45. He tried again and got the same result. Maybe he made a mistake. He typed in $40. Same message. He tried $20 with the same result.
Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit.
His father must have taken too much. He'd have to go home and try to call. He needed money.
-----
RING RING
Shit who was that? If it was their dad he was screwed because he was sure to ask to speak to Sam. Before he answered the phone he went and turned on the shower so it would be believable when he said Sam was in the shower.
"Hello," he said tentatively.
"Heya....hey Dean," the thick gravelly voice slurred.
Great not only was it their dad but he was drunk. "Hey dad. Good to hear from you." Dean had to tread lightly.
"Sonna sona bitch gotta 'way."
Damnit. A failed hunt for their mom's killer on top of a drunk John. "That's too bad."
"Sonna bitch took off with my money. Used Mar....hic...used me. Sonna bitch."
The cord tightened in Dean's hand. It sounded like John had been conned out of his money. That was just great.
"You coming home soon?" Dean said changing the subject and giving his dad an opening to get off the fact he failed.
"You're 17. Need ta need ta know I can count. Don't disappoin...me. Understand boy!"
Sixteen, but who cares right? "You can count on me dad," Dean said trying to sound confidant. At least his ploy had worked and his dad seemed to have forgotten about their mom.
"I'm goin' after the sonna bitch. Be gone....be gone....count on you right?"
"Sure dad. You know me."
"I do. Don disappoin me."
Ouch! "I won't." Just don't forget to put the bill money in the bank. Please dad, he added silently.
""Goo...boy....gotta go now. Bye Dean."
"Bye dad."
Dean flinched when the phone clicked. Did it matter if their dad remembered the date? Whatever stash of money their dad had been relying on was probably gone. If he'd had anything in his stomach he probably would have puked.
The full weight of situation crashed down on Dean's shoulders. He had no money to pay the rent and no money to buy food. At this rate they were gonna be homeless.
"What am I supposed to do?" Dean whispered as he all his energy and fight left him and he slumped against the wall and slid down as if boneless. He drew his legs up to his chest and put his arms around his legs and started to rock slightly. "What am I supposed to do," he said again to the empty apartment.
TBC
Please read and review. Just to let me know if anyone is still interesting in reading this and what you think.
Author: Crowley_Gal
Characters: Dean, Sam, John. Some names you may recognize but AU, for example Benny is Dean's math teacher.
Genre/pairing: Gen
Rating: Teen for swearing
Word-count: ?
Spoilers: none really
Warnings: Dean likes to swear. Mentions anorexia. May be triggery
Summary: The boys settle down for an extended period while John's away on hunt. It might be all fun and games for Sam but Dean's having a hell of a time trying to keep everything together.
Disclaimer : I don't own anything and I'm not making any money from this.
Author's Note: I can't believe I finally finished this chapter. I apologize profusely for the how long it took. A combination of real life craziness and a lack of motivation. Even if I'm not writing about whats happening on the show specifically its my enthusiasm for it that fuels my muse. In the back half of the season and so far this year I find nothing to get excited about. Still despite that I love the character of Dean Winchester. That said I will do my best to make sure I finish this story and the planned sequel. There is a key scene in this chapter that will play out much more in part 2. I just ask for a bit of patience.
Chapter 10
KNOCK KNOCK
The day Dean had been dreading since the moment their father announced they were getting an apartment was here. The rent was due and he had no money.
It took a lot of fancy tap dancing and an academy award winning performance but he managed to convince the landlord he'd have the money by the end of the next day.
He had no idea how he was going to get the money, other than selling himself on a street corner (hell to the no!) but he bought himself 24 hours.
He tried to get a hold of his father to no avail. Both Bobby and Pastor Jim were unavailable.
He decided to go for a run because the mindless exercise usually freed up his mind and he might be able to come up with a solution. After doing 3 miles, he wanted to do more but he did have to be careful about how many calories he was burning, he headed home. He knew something was wrong as he approached his apartment. He knew that he locked the door but it was open. Wishing he had a gun, he tentatively approached and peeked around the corner. There wasn't a monster or a creature. It was something much much worse.
It was a man. He was looking haggard and his suit had the rumbled appearance of someone who had too much work and not enough time or resources to do it properly. It was the stereotypical look of a social worker who had been on the job to long.
Shit! He probably hadn't been as convincing as he thought with the landlord. His stomach dropped and he felt like he was going to puke. His heart started pounding so hard he was surprised it hadn't come right through his chest.
Sammy!
"I see you there, come in. We need to talk," the voice said full of false concern.
"Sam!" Dean called as he entered the apartment.
Then the man said 3 words that caused the blood in Dean's veins to turn to ice. The thing he feared the most. "We have him. Tell me whats going on. What happened?" The man said in a voice that sounded identical to his dad's.
Dean hesitated wondering how to explain this. "I just went out."
"What?"
"Just for a second. I'm sorry."
Just when Dean figured things couldn't get any worse, the man in front of him suddenly morphed into his father. "I told you not to leave this room. I told you not to let him out of your sight."
He could feel his dad glare at him. He was dreading what came next. "Please dad don't," Dean hated himself for begging. His dad opened his mouth and said...
"Dean.....Dean wake up," The dad figure said in Sam's voice.
"Wha....whas..going on?" Dean mumbled in confusion. He opened his eyes and looked around the darkened bedroom. His head was still thundering away as Dean tried to contain his fear. The nightmare had seemed so real.
"You were mumbling something about Dad."
"I dreamed I showed up at class naked," Dean said trying to change the subject.
"For you, that's not a nightmare. It's a dream come true. You were asking Dad not to do something. What was it?" Sam asked genuinely concerned. Whatever the nightmare was he knew it was a bad one by the way Dean had been trashing around.
"He wouldn't let me go on a date," Dean deflected.
"Fine," Sam huffed. "Don't tell me. I don't care." He climbed back in bed. "I just want to help."
"Whatever you say," Dean replied as he left the room to go take a leak and try to get himself back under control.
The thing was he knew that there was a part of Sam that did want to help, that his concern tonight was real and Dean appreciated it. Sam often, though, failed to realize that the little things would help him far more than a chick flick caring and sharing moment.
Dean had hoped that making Sam be the one to buy the groceries he might have learned a lesson. It worked to a partial extent. In the two weeks since then he'd stopped bitching about what was bought but that was about it. The part about rationing seemed to have gone right over his head. Dean had calculated that if they each took one sandwich for lunch the bread should have lasted but with how fast it had gone, Sam must be taking two. It's not that Dean begrudged him the food, it was just that if they weren't careful they were going to run about before Dean got paid again. He was already $15 dollars behind since he'd had to dip into Sam's paper money to cover the shortage from when Sam had shopped and he'd been trying to get back on track.
Sam had also been acting more mysteriously as well. Dean nearly had a heart attack one day when he came home from work and found the apartment empty and Sam nowhere to be found. He'd been one minute away from a full scale panic attack when Sam waltzed in the door. When he attempted to find out where his brother had been, it lead to an argument about being normal and how that took priority over responsibility.
All Dean could think of was what would have happened if their dad had been home.
I just went out. I'm Sorry.
There would have been hell to pay.
I thought I told you not to leave this room.
Dean's butt would have been the one cashing the check.
He was worried about his weight. There wasn't much food so he was already skipping breakfast and only taking an apple for lunch. Supper was the only time he was really getting any real amount of food but even that wasn't much. Running was the way he usually cleared his head but he was avoiding it because he was worried about burning to many calories.
That was seriously pissing him off because it was the way he calmed himself down. He wasn't fucking allowed to do it because it could send him back to the funny farm. He wasn't fucking anorexic. He was trying to put on weight for fuck's sake. There was nothing he hated more than that label. There were sometimes when people just didn't feel hungry. Didn't mean he needed to be treated like a girl? How the fuck was he supposed to put on weight when there was nothing to eat?
Sam could also help with the house work. He'd fulfilled his half of the bet and cleaned the apartment one time. Dean often came home from work to find dishes in the sink, laundry to do and papers and books scattered about. He tried to talk to Sam about it only to be told his brother was too busy with schoolwork, soccer practice and other stuff he refused to elaborate on.
He was also getting increasingly worried about Money, It was almost December and getting colder so the heat had to put on which meant the power was going up. Their dad had been home recently so Dean knew there was another large phone bill just around the corner and the rent was due in a week. With the anniversary of their mom's death only recently passed and his dad's pursuit of her killer it wasn't unreasonable to assume that their father would forget to leave the rent. So if their dad didn't come through Dean was going to be on his own for $700.
If Sam truly wanted to help, he could start by realizing all this stuff. He could use some of his paper money to buy a few basic staples, especially since he was eating far more than normal. He could make sure he came home on time so he didn't have to worry about their dad showing up unexpectedly. He could do a fucking sink of dishes once in a while.
So no caring and sharing wasn't going to help a damn thing.
He was so fucking exhausted but between the nightmares, and the worries he was barely getting four hours sleep a night. He was feeling like he was failing his dad by not being able to keep it all together but he didn't know where to turn.
"What am I supposed to do?" Dean whispered in the darkness of his bedroom.
-----
He'd never been a great student at the best of times so all this was starting to take a toll on the work he was handing in. He'd done his best just to get something on paper and have it to hand in to his teachers. He'd been told to re-do the last couple of days work so he had 3 days worth of homework due tomorrow and he had to work tonight.
To make things worse it was Wednesday. There was a customer that liked to come in and shop for about a $200 grocery order about 15 minutes before the store closed. She'd need help to find everything thing on her list, change her mind several times, and argue over the price of everything. Since FoodWorld was so cheap they didn't do anything to stop her. It was usually a good 45 minutes to an hour after closing before you could get out of there. Since there was no union the cheap ass bastards stopped paying him the minute the store was supposed to be closed.
So by the time he got home, and reassured himself that Sam was there, it was close to 10:30 and he had 3 days worth of school work to get through. There was no way he was going to manage to make it acceptable (fucking inclusion) and he'd get told to redo it. He'd be lucky if they didn't call his father. The only good thing was that when he finally got to bed, well after 3 am, he was so wiped he was asleep before his head hit the pillow and the nightmares stayed away.
--------
"Dean! DEAN!" He could hear a voice far off in the distance calling him.
"Five more min..." he slurred.
"Dean, get up," the voice insisted.
"Wha...?" Dean asked in confusion.
"You're going to be late for school."
"What?" Dean said again and reluctantly opened his eyes and stared at the clock in disbelief. He had to be up an hour ago. SHIT!!!
""Why didn't you wake me?" Dean accused his brother.
"I thought you were up," Sam replied. He had meant to wake him, but he wanted to make lunch for him and Bones before did but it slipped his mind as he planned his day. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "If you hurry you can make it on time."
"The papers," Dean reminded his brother. It took him about a half hour to deliver them and about 20 minutes to walk to school. There was no way he wasn't going to be late. "Can you help me?" Dean asked.
"I promised Ian that we'd meet and finalize the plans for our science project. I'll be late if I don't leave now."
"Forget it, Sammy. Just go," Dean said tiredly as he dragged himself out of bed. He really just wanted to crawl back into bed but if he skipped he'd be a full 5 days behind. He sucked it up and got out of bed and started to get dressed.
----------
""Mr. Winchester, your late," Mr. Lafitte said to him as Dean slipped into the door about 15 minutes after the bell.
"Sorry sir, overslept," Dean mumbled and slipped into his seat and tried not to yawn as his teacher finished going over the morning announcements. He was glad that his first class was math because then he didn't have to move.
He was dreading Inclusion though because he knew what was coming.
------
Benny tried to look like he was going over his notes for the days lesson but he was looking at his troublesome student. He had to admit he was a little worried about him. While he had no illusions about a Lifetime movie ending like the one he did not watch last weekend, where the teacher inspired the lazy apathetic student and he went onto college and med school and graduated at the top of his class. Some people just did not like school. The thing that had Benny disappointed was that Dean appeared to stop trying.
He was never going to be a straight A student, although he was smart enough and could do it if he applied himself, but he was improving and making an effort. So what changed? If Benny had to guess it seemed to date back to the health class project on anorexia when Dean had the near panic attack. Benny tried to talk to him about it but the more he asked the more Dean appeared to close down so he dropped it. Now he wasn't doing assignments and was late.
He was tempted to ask Castiel if he noticed anything or if Dean had said something but it was hard enough being in a school with two dads who were both teachers. He did not need a reputation as an informant on top of that.
As much as he wanted to speak to Dean right then and there he knew it would be better to wait. "Dean we need to talk later during inclusion. "
"Yes sir," he mumbled as if he had been expecting it.
-----
Time was a funny thing. Normally school dragged on and felt never ending. Today it flew by much to Dean's dismay. He wished he could skip inclusion and just fake being sick and go home but he knew he'd just be delaying the inevitable. Like his dad's lectures it was best just to get it over with.
He entered inclusion much like someone going to the electric chair. He'd spent the day trying to come up with ways that this wouldn't end with Mr. Lafitte wanting a meeting with his dad.
It was two weeks past the anniversary of his mother's death and his dad was on a hunt for her killer. A phone call regarding trivial matters like Dean not doing homework was only going to serve to seriously piss him off. The resulting lecture and punishment was would make this meeting look like child's play.
After the days lesson on note taking, Mr. Lafitte came over to him carrying a large folder. When he opened it Dean recognized the work he'd been turning in the last few days. Lots of red pens had gotten a workout. He saw lots of D's and a few Fs. So it was worse than he thought.
"Sorry, sir," Dean blurted out before his teacher could say anything. It usually didn't lessen his punishments but he knew his dad had little tolerance for excuses. Admit you screwed up and take responsibility.
"I'm not mad, Dean, just concerned," his teacher answered.
That threw Dean off. Anger he could deal with. Concern and disappointment led to him getting committed into a psychiatric hospital. "About what?" Dean asked, although he knew.
"I'm concerned about the decline in the quality of your work."
"Oh that," Dean said trying to make it sound like it was no big deal. "You heard of Murphy's Law. Well a few days ago, I had one of those days. My dad had to work late, I had to get my brother from school, then he needed help with his homework. He worse than Cas when it comes to math. Then I got called to work and ended up being late getting home. It was late before I got a chance to start my homework and from there it just seems like I could just never catch up. I was late this morning because my brother had to be at school early and I had to deliver his papers for him." He finished his speech with a puppydog face that would make his brother proud.
"Still it's like these last couple of weeks you've just stopped trying."
"When you're like me if you fall one day behind it gets hard to catch up."
"Like what?" Benny asked.
"In the dum...In inclusion." Shit. This was a road he wished he had never gone down.
"You aren't dumb," Benny said firmly. "You're very good at thinking on your feet. I mean look at the way you came up with that BS story you just tried to sell me. If you were feeling overwhelmed why didn't you bring this up in last week. I've asked you several times if things were okay?"
Crap. There was nothing Dean hated more than teachers who cared. Still despite everything, Dean was tempted to want to spill everything because Mr. Lafitte was always nice to him and he seemed like he cared and genuinely wanted to help. But Dean knew there was no way he could tell him. That would be as good as calling social services himself. "Things are okay. I just got behind," he insisted.
"It's just that it seems to be overnight. Look at this." Benny pulled out Dean's English essay on Poe. "You got an A- so I know your capable, but your History essay looks like it was written an hour before class and is pretty much just a summary of the textbook."
He was good. That's exactly when Dean wrote it.
"I'm going to give you a chance to convince me not to call your dad and discuss this with him," Benny said seriously.
Think dumbass, Dean told himself. You're a bloody Winchester. You lie convincingly for a living. "I guess...I guess I took on a little too much," Dean ground out as if it hurt his pride to say that. "I'm trying to save up to buy a car. I promised my dad that when I took my part time job I wouldn't let it interfere with my school work. I'm getting pretty close to my goal and when I got offered some extra hours, I took them without really giving thought. Then there was one day I didn't get everything done and I guess I just let it get away from me. I didn't want to admit I messed up." He wanted to plead for Mr. Lafitte to not call his dad but he didn't want to lay it on too thick.
"I still think this is something you need to discuss with your dad. If your job is too much..."
"I did speak to him," Dean lied smoothly. "He was going to make me give up the job at first but we reached a compromise. After this week's schedule I'm only going to be working weekends. " He'd just have to hope that Mr. Lafitte or Mr. Novack didn't shop at FoodWorld on days he was working. He'd been thinking about asking for more hours, not less.
Benny contemplated what the young man before him was saying. It sounded plausible and completely believable but he still felt that it wasn't the complete truth but he didn't want to accuse Dean of lying. It just seemed a little too convenient that he had already spoken to his father. "I'll make you a deal," Benny offered. "I'll give you until Monday to catch up. I want all this work re-done. If I get a satisfactory report of for all your teachers at Inclusion I won't have to call your father."
"Deal," Dean said quickly. "Thanks sir."
"Dean, I mean it, if you feel like your falling behind, come to me. It doesn't have to get this far."
"Yes sir," Dean mumbled and pulled his English book towards him, grateful for the reprieve.
------
Unknown Location
John Winchester pulled the Impala up into the parking lot of The Dew Drop Inn. It was a sleezy motel that rented rooms by the hour but he picked it for its proximity to the Dew Drop Inn Pub and Sports Bar across the street.
He was getting so close to finding out who the bastards were that killed Mary, but he was still so far away. He'd had several leads about women who had died in a nursery fire. One turned out to be a real case of faulty wiring, another murder and an attempted cover up, another insurance fraud and arson case.
He was pissed off because he'd taken a lot of risks. From the large cash advance to on a stolen credit card, to leaving the boys alone so much and risking someone getting suspicious, and for there to be no pay off was not sitting well with him. His plan was been get stinking drunk, spend tomorrow sleeping it off, and then head home and pack up the boys and cut his loses.
He had just sat down at the bar with a double shot of Johnny Walker Blue (why not go out with a bang) when his phone rang. He decided to ignore it and let it go to voice mail. He downed his shot, ordered another, and then another and was about to go for a beer when his phone rang again.
"Damnit," John grumbled. "Fuck off."
"Everything okay?" the bartender asked.
"Peachy," John grumbled. "Just damn telemarketers driving me up the wall." He tapped his glass for another shot.
RING RING
"Persistent aren't they. Just tell them to take you off their list and threaten to sue if they don't. It works like a charm for me."
"I'll keep that in mind. Hit me again." John reached for his phone. "This better be fucking important."
"Mr. Winchester you don't know me and my name isn't important but I have the information you've been looking for. "
"Excuse me," John replied as he threw several bills down on the bar and walked to where he could have privacy. "Why the fuck should I believe a word you sayÉ" He didn't recognize the voice. It was female with a thick British accent.
"You're wife's name is Mary. Your sons are Sam and Dean. Sam was 6 months old at the time of her murder."
The fact that she knew so much about him was not sitting right. He felt his fingers tighten on the phone. "You could have found that out in any newspaper."
"Proof. Check a child named Max Miller." The line went dead. As much as John wanted to ignore it, he knew he couldn't. A quick phone call to Dean to let him know he was going to be a few more days, a call to one of his contacts and he found himself headed for Indiana.
-------
Bela Talbot smiled as she hung up hung up the phone and dialed her employer. This was going to be like taking candy from a baby. "Hook has been baited and accepted."
----------
As Dean walked home from FoodWorld that night he was seriously wishing he could just work weekends. This job sucked massively. Why the hell did parents take their kids food shopping when they were sick? More importantly with 2 other service clerks on that night why the hell was he the one who was tapped to clean up the mess? He passed the hardware store and saw that the help wanted sign was still in the window. He sighed.
He had checked the job when Cas mentioned it and stocking shelves with tools sounded right up his alley. No dealing with customers. It was back shift though. He didn't think he could do it and go to school at the same time. It was hard enough keeping up now.
----
Sam was finding that the more time he spent in his hideout the more time he wanted to be there. He`d been tempted to just stay there all night but Dean was on his period and he`d have a hissy fit if Sam did that. He wasn`t a kid anymore and he hated being treated like one.
When he heard his brother on their phone with their dad a plan began to form in his mind. He`d tell Dean that there was an away game and spend the weekend with Bones. He used the tips from his paper money and stocked up on some food. His dad had taught him how to build a fire and he had a military grade cold weather sleeping bag. He wasn`t worried about freezing. He almost wished he could tell his friends about the place but decided against it because he wasn`t ready to share it yet. He was hoping to get out the apartment before Dean got home and just leave a note but he'd been invited to Ian's for supper so he went and he had to come home to get his stuff.
"Hey, Sammy, I'm home," Dean called. "Did you leave any dinner?"
"I ate at Ian's," he called back. He gabbed his duffel, took a deep breath and went to tell Dean he was taking off for the weekend.
"Where are you going?" Dean asked before Sam could say a word.
"I have an away game. We're going to Brick County to play Brick Academy. I told you last week remember?"
"No," Dean said firmly. Sam knew he didn't believe him. He wished he came up with a better excuse. Who leaves for an away game at 10 at night?
Sam knew this wasn't going to be a nice thing to do but he was doing this even if he had to sneak out in the middle of the night so he went straight for the jugular by using Dean's trigger word. "I told you. It's not my fault your too stupid to remember."
Whatever his brother had been about too say died on his tongue. Dean face took on an unreadable expression and Sam wondered if maybe that had been a little too harsh. His brother looked like he was about to launch an argument but then he just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Whatever Sam, just check in okay? Just let me know your alright?
"Sure Dean," Sam said and walked out the door.
--------
Damn it!
He didn't need this, not now. Not this weekend. Their dad wasn't supposed to be home until next week but he wasn't the most trustworthy person. It could be 2 weeks, or two days or even 2 hours from now. How was he supposed to concentrate?
He went to the bathroom and popped four Tylenol, not caring if that was too much or not. He headed toward the kitchen, his stomach rumbling, to see if he could rustle up so grub. There should have been enough bread for him to have a sandwich, but all he found was one crust. That meant Sam had taken two sandwiches with him. Spreading peanut butter on the last crust Dean scarfed it down, but it did little to take away that empty feeling in his stomach. He filled up a big glass of water and drank it as fast as he could and then repeated the pattern. It left him feeling bloated and gave him the illusion that he was full. At least for a little while.
He sat down at the table and stared longingly at the door to his bedroom but he needed to get some work done tonight. He had a full 8 hour shift tomorrow and a 4 hour cleaning shift on Sunday, plus 5 days of school work to catch up on. He had no idea how he was going to get all this done.
Sighing, he pulled his physics text book toward him. Get the easy stuff out of the way first.
An archer pulls back 0.75 m on a bow which has a stiffness of 200 N/m. The arrow weighs 50 g. What is the velocity of the arrow immediately after release? Show your work.
This was easy. It could be solved by equating the potential energy of the bow with the kinetic energy of the arrow.
HONK HONK
The young hunter jumped a mile and got up to check to make sure it wasn't the Impala. It wasn't. He tried to return to the problem at hand.
"A bow was a spring. (1/2)kx2, where k is the stiffness and x is the amount the spring is stretched, or compressed." He heard the loud roar of a car.
I thought I told you not to leave this room
I just went out. I'm sorry.
Shit!! He did not need this crap right now. How the fuck was he supposed to concentrate?
Focus on the task at hand.
"Therefore, the potential energy PE of the bow is:PE = (1/2)(200)(0.75)2 = 56.25 J"
He heard heavy footsteps in the hallway.
I thought I told you not to leave this room
I just went out. I'm sorry.
"FUCK!!!" Dean said outloud and swept his hand across the table, sending his note and text book flying. Screw homework! Screw Mr. Lafitte! Screw Inclusion! Screw his dad! Screw Sam! Most of all screw his fucking weight and screw how late it it is and screw anafuckingrexia. Dean grabbed his sneakers and headed out the door.
When he got back an hour later he was exhausted and shaky from not eating. He drank more water and then went to bed.
------
He was late getting for work and knew he wouldn't have time to stop at the bank and get some money for food before going to work. He tried the water trick again but all that did was left him feeling like he wanted to puke. To make matters worse he felt the faint traces of a headache making itself known. He popped some more tylenol and headed out the door.
He found his boss and told him he wasn't feeling great, which wasn't a complete lie, and asked if he could be excused from tomorrows shift. Fortunately this was one supervisor he liked and one who liked him. It helped that Dean knew he looked like crap. He promised to come in the next two Sunday's to make up for it.
Worked was crappy as usual and dragged. The 8 hours felt like 18. He was so happy when he could finally punch out, especially since he starting having dizzy spells. Since yesterday he'd only had a crust of bread and an apple. He headed for the bank.
He put his card in the machine, punched in the code and put in $60.00. He mentally planned what to buy when the machine beeped. He reached down and stopped cold. Instead of 3 crisp 20 dollar bills protruding from the money slot there was an error message flashing on the screen.
Insufficient funds.
What the hell? Mentally calculated his share of his paycheck and again got just $62.45. He tried again and got the same result. Maybe he made a mistake. He typed in $40. Same message. He tried $20 with the same result.
Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit.
His father must have taken too much. He'd have to go home and try to call. He needed money.
-----
RING RING
Shit who was that? If it was their dad he was screwed because he was sure to ask to speak to Sam. Before he answered the phone he went and turned on the shower so it would be believable when he said Sam was in the shower.
"Hello," he said tentatively.
"Heya....hey Dean," the thick gravelly voice slurred.
Great not only was it their dad but he was drunk. "Hey dad. Good to hear from you." Dean had to tread lightly.
"Sonna sona bitch gotta 'way."
Damnit. A failed hunt for their mom's killer on top of a drunk John. "That's too bad."
"Sonna bitch took off with my money. Used Mar....hic...used me. Sonna bitch."
The cord tightened in Dean's hand. It sounded like John had been conned out of his money. That was just great.
"You coming home soon?" Dean said changing the subject and giving his dad an opening to get off the fact he failed.
"You're 17. Need ta need ta know I can count. Don't disappoin...me. Understand boy!"
Sixteen, but who cares right? "You can count on me dad," Dean said trying to sound confidant. At least his ploy had worked and his dad seemed to have forgotten about their mom.
"I'm goin' after the sonna bitch. Be gone....be gone....count on you right?"
"Sure dad. You know me."
"I do. Don disappoin me."
Ouch! "I won't." Just don't forget to put the bill money in the bank. Please dad, he added silently.
""Goo...boy....gotta go now. Bye Dean."
"Bye dad."
Dean flinched when the phone clicked. Did it matter if their dad remembered the date? Whatever stash of money their dad had been relying on was probably gone. If he'd had anything in his stomach he probably would have puked.
The full weight of situation crashed down on Dean's shoulders. He had no money to pay the rent and no money to buy food. At this rate they were gonna be homeless.
"What am I supposed to do?" Dean whispered as he all his energy and fight left him and he slumped against the wall and slid down as if boneless. He drew his legs up to his chest and put his arms around his legs and started to rock slightly. "What am I supposed to do," he said again to the empty apartment.
TBC
Please read and review. Just to let me know if anyone is still interesting in reading this and what you think.