Stop trying to be who you were and start loving who you are.

[crowhen]

Women make me sad. In my short life, the majority of women my age that I have come to know have all at one point or another said, "I need to lose weight! I don't fit into my old clothes anymore!" Then I would ask why they don't just buy new clothes (something I really enjoy when I have the money and the need), to which they would reply with, "But

Comments

[monster_turtles]

It's so easy to say that, but it really isn't that simple. It's especially hard for people who were, at one point, considered a "perfect" weight or body type and received attention for it. Then as their body changes, so does the feedback they get. It's one thing to grow up with what society considers an imperfect body and be used to accepting and coping with not meeting the impractical standards set for women... it's a whole other ballgame to have ACHIEVED or BEEN at one point youthful or gorgeous or whatever, and then have it taken from you with age.

Quite frankly, if I had to choose, I would rather grow up imperfect my entire life than be considered "perfect" and then lose it.

I think you make many excellent points, but I don't think it's fair to shake your head and pity people for not being able to accept these kind of changes. It's hard, it really is, and the whole "be proud to be you" spheel really doesn't cut it when you go from being praised to being transparent (as was the case with my own mother when she became older).

But it happens to everyone, and I think most women learn to cope. You have to. What other choice is there?

[crowhen]

If I saw people coping, I wouldn't mind so much, but I don't see it, at least not yet. I see people going on fad diets, keeping distorted images of their bodies, and in general investing in a lot of false hopes rather than facing down their demons. If everyone could have the perspective you do, that would be great. But alas.

I know so many women who are incredibly good looking (and thin as fashion models) who still receive feedback to that extent, but because they aren't the same weight they were last year, they are convinced that they have become fat.

I figure the best I can do, as a woman, is to tell people how beautiful I think they are, but sometimes I feel like my words fall on deaf ears. The problem is as much from within as it is from without. It is very distressing.

[monster_turtles]

It's the sort of thing they have to learn on their own, through what I guess you could call a personal self-journey. No matter how many times you tell them they're beautiful, they won't believe it until they're ready... which usually takes some emotional development. Some women never reach that point, some do. But yes, it's very distressing to sit and watch it happen.