(no subject)
and as life goes on, my apathy grows larger.
Before I was actually buying stuff with my own money I thought I had achieved a state of indifference, turns out, I was totally wrong.
Yup, I feel like an adult and my life is just turning into one giant collage of complacency.
I don't enjoy this.
Work has become High School with middle age women. I've heard them all trade rumours about one another once their backs have turned, and I just can not stand this betrayel anymore.
I want to quit my job and find some kind of replacement. Yup, I need a new life.
What I need: The Brandy Alexander Relocation Program.
All I need to do is become hideously ugly, wear yards organza as a veil and wander around the United States until I find a suitable place to leave my suitcases.
I've been reading Sylvia Plath's "Ariel" and I love her.
The other day I drove two hours to visit home and see something familiar, I just woke up and changed my clothes got in my car and just started driving. It was strange, I felt a lot better seeing familiar territory, this feeling of trust came over me, then I got home...no one was there.
I felt like a lone erection. Just there, not really for any reason, just you know, standing around, and then I became placid and looked dissapointed, just like a penis.
So I lurched around my house for a while and decided to take a shower and then I watched t.v. I left around five o clock. It was a very short six hour visit. I left my parents a note telling them about what I've done, it was like, a paragraph long, I'm guessing and then I got in my car and drove off.
Then I got back to "the Mesa Verde" I sat in my room and just laid there.
god-damn, my life sucks. being an adult sucks.
also, I got stoned that night and watched "south park". which rocked, but not greatly.
Before I was actually buying stuff with my own money I thought I had achieved a state of indifference, turns out, I was totally wrong.
Yup, I feel like an adult and my life is just turning into one giant collage of complacency.
I don't enjoy this.
Work has become High School with middle age women. I've heard them all trade rumours about one another once their backs have turned, and I just can not stand this betrayel anymore.
I want to quit my job and find some kind of replacement. Yup, I need a new life.
What I need: The Brandy Alexander Relocation Program.
All I need to do is become hideously ugly, wear yards organza as a veil and wander around the United States until I find a suitable place to leave my suitcases.
I've been reading Sylvia Plath's "Ariel" and I love her.
The other day I drove two hours to visit home and see something familiar, I just woke up and changed my clothes got in my car and just started driving. It was strange, I felt a lot better seeing familiar territory, this feeling of trust came over me, then I got home...no one was there.
I felt like a lone erection. Just there, not really for any reason, just you know, standing around, and then I became placid and looked dissapointed, just like a penis.
So I lurched around my house for a while and decided to take a shower and then I watched t.v. I left around five o clock. It was a very short six hour visit. I left my parents a note telling them about what I've done, it was like, a paragraph long, I'm guessing and then I got in my car and drove off.
Then I got back to "the Mesa Verde" I sat in my room and just laid there.
god-damn, my life sucks. being an adult sucks.
also, I got stoned that night and watched "south park". which rocked, but not greatly.