A sad story about beer
Michael and I went to WalMart to get groceries and a 6-pack of beer. The checkout clerk wouldn't sell us beer because although he had I.D., I didn't have mine with me. Store policy - if 2 people are together, both get carded. Michael asked what would happen if he came in with his 13 yr old daughter, then. We were told that if we'd said I was his daughter, they could've sold him beer, because people can buy beer when they're with their kids at the grocery store. But since he already said I'm his wife, they couldn't sell him beer. The head cashier couldn't sell him beer either. However, a shift manager could sell him beer, as it turns out.
Ok, it's all very civic minded, not wanting to sell beer to 21 yr olds who will turn around and give it to their teenage friends and contribute to the delinquency of minors, but now 21 yr olds who want to buy beer for teenagers will just get their friends to wait outside. So what exactly is the point of this exercise?
Aha, you thought I would say there is no point to it, didn't you? No, there is a point. I have a theory that there is a demon that lives in WalMart and sucks people's souls. Because WalMart is a miserable sort of place anyway, people just assume they feel crummy for purely natural reasons, and they never suspect demonic influence. (Whereas, say, if there were a random stretch of road where people were suddenly filled with despair and misanthropy for no apparent reason, somebody would notice something was amiss.) The longer the demon can keep you in the store, the more of your soul it gets to suck. So if they rearrange the store constantly to make it hard to find anything, more soul suckage. If they employ just enough cashiers to keep the lines long, but not so long that people just turn around and leave as soon as they walk in, more soul suckage. If they hold up an entire line for 15 minutes arguing about whether it's reasonable to sell beer to an adult with I.D., more soul suckage. If they don't clean the bathrooms, so there is only one usable stall, people will have to wait in line for it, and the demon gets to suck your soul more. Hah. So much for being sneaky, WalMart demon! I have you figured out now.
Disclaimer: This rant is intended for venting purposes only. I'm only serious about the idiocy of refusing to sell beer to adults and my low opinion of the store's atmosphere, but probably not about the demon. (Although I have not actually ruled out the possibility of the existence of a WalMart demon. It's hard to prove a negative, after all.) Thank you.
Ok, it's all very civic minded, not wanting to sell beer to 21 yr olds who will turn around and give it to their teenage friends and contribute to the delinquency of minors, but now 21 yr olds who want to buy beer for teenagers will just get their friends to wait outside. So what exactly is the point of this exercise?
Aha, you thought I would say there is no point to it, didn't you? No, there is a point. I have a theory that there is a demon that lives in WalMart and sucks people's souls. Because WalMart is a miserable sort of place anyway, people just assume they feel crummy for purely natural reasons, and they never suspect demonic influence. (Whereas, say, if there were a random stretch of road where people were suddenly filled with despair and misanthropy for no apparent reason, somebody would notice something was amiss.) The longer the demon can keep you in the store, the more of your soul it gets to suck. So if they rearrange the store constantly to make it hard to find anything, more soul suckage. If they employ just enough cashiers to keep the lines long, but not so long that people just turn around and leave as soon as they walk in, more soul suckage. If they hold up an entire line for 15 minutes arguing about whether it's reasonable to sell beer to an adult with I.D., more soul suckage. If they don't clean the bathrooms, so there is only one usable stall, people will have to wait in line for it, and the demon gets to suck your soul more. Hah. So much for being sneaky, WalMart demon! I have you figured out now.
Disclaimer: This rant is intended for venting purposes only. I'm only serious about the idiocy of refusing to sell beer to adults and my low opinion of the store's atmosphere, but probably not about the demon. (Although I have not actually ruled out the possibility of the existence of a WalMart demon. It's hard to prove a negative, after all.) Thank you.