Quack
They say there is a first time for everything. This week was the first time I've ever been attacked by a muscovy duck. I have no idea what it was upset about; I was just walking down the sidewalk minding my own business. The purse that I've been meaning to clean out because it was too full of heavy junk came in handy as an improvised duck-thumper. No humans or ducks were seriously injured in this bizarre encounter, as far as I can tell. Also, ducks seem a lot bigger up close, especially when they are raising up their wings in an attempt to look large and menacing. They are, however, still ducks, which detracts somewhat from the intended effect.