and if you don't love me, let me go
Hi. Christmas was lame. It's not even fun anymore. I got my sister those god-awful UGG boots and they didn't fit and she flipped out and was patently ungrateful and cuntlike about it. She did apologize in the future however, so I still like her megatons more than anyone else that shares my DNA. My mom sat around all day and whined about how awful Christmas is. My grandpa shouted a lot about how pretty I am. My dad talked to nobody but the cat, but that's every day. The cat ran outside, because he knows Christmas is lame and wants nothing to do with it.
Chris's parents still have no idea we're dating. Even though they came home unexpectedly from mass on Christmas Eve and we were locked in the upstairs bedroom, and then we came down looking really disheveled, and I was missing an earring. They did help me look for the earring quite enthusiastically, however. And then proceeded to inquire about where everyone else was, and say how sad they were that they missed them. Even though no one else was EVER THERE. Because we were REALLY OBVIOUSLY upstairs HAVING SEXUOUS. EXASPERATION IN CAPS LOCK!!
So yeah, the Chris thing. The other day we ended up discussing that whole thing about how he's going away forevereverever, and he basically told me that our relationship is doomed. He was all, I'm gonna be working 80 hours a week, and I won't have time to call you or see you or have any kind of relationship with you or anyone. And we can try to make it work, but it won't. And then I'm going into the Peace Corps for 2.5 years. Adios. He actually was really sweet about it, and he said it's gonna be really hard for him, and he's probably going to keep calling me and trying to get back together with me, and nonsense and blah blah. He also wants to still be bestest friends and visit me and one day come to my wedding to some other guy. Mr. Optimism, this one. The bottom line is, he cares more about his own future than any kind of future he could have had with me.
So now I feel like our relationship is some kind of ticking time bomb. To make matters worse, the l-word thing still hasn't happened. And now I don't know if I should even bother saying it, because our relationship will be over in six fucking months anyway and I don't want to get even more attached. He's always saying things like "I really like you", and "I really care about you". But honestly, for me it's past "like", and "really care". If he's never going to love me, I feel like we should just end the damn thing now. There are a million other infuriating things he's said to me recently, but this is getting really long, so maybe you'll just have to stay tuned for part two. Sigh.
Chris's parents still have no idea we're dating. Even though they came home unexpectedly from mass on Christmas Eve and we were locked in the upstairs bedroom, and then we came down looking really disheveled, and I was missing an earring. They did help me look for the earring quite enthusiastically, however. And then proceeded to inquire about where everyone else was, and say how sad they were that they missed them. Even though no one else was EVER THERE. Because we were REALLY OBVIOUSLY upstairs HAVING SEXUOUS. EXASPERATION IN CAPS LOCK!!
So yeah, the Chris thing. The other day we ended up discussing that whole thing about how he's going away forevereverever, and he basically told me that our relationship is doomed. He was all, I'm gonna be working 80 hours a week, and I won't have time to call you or see you or have any kind of relationship with you or anyone. And we can try to make it work, but it won't. And then I'm going into the Peace Corps for 2.5 years. Adios. He actually was really sweet about it, and he said it's gonna be really hard for him, and he's probably going to keep calling me and trying to get back together with me, and nonsense and blah blah. He also wants to still be bestest friends and visit me and one day come to my wedding to some other guy. Mr. Optimism, this one. The bottom line is, he cares more about his own future than any kind of future he could have had with me.
So now I feel like our relationship is some kind of ticking time bomb. To make matters worse, the l-word thing still hasn't happened. And now I don't know if I should even bother saying it, because our relationship will be over in six fucking months anyway and I don't want to get even more attached. He's always saying things like "I really like you", and "I really care about you". But honestly, for me it's past "like", and "really care". If he's never going to love me, I feel like we should just end the damn thing now. There are a million other infuriating things he's said to me recently, but this is getting really long, so maybe you'll just have to stay tuned for part two. Sigh.