Honeymoon
Last night, we huddled under blankets to keep warm while watching TV in our cold living room. We were all falling asleep, so we went to bed kind of early.
This morning, I got out of my warm bed to shovel the sidewalk in the freezing 5:30 am darkness. Came in to pee, and had to wait for Una to get out of the shower, because we just have one bathroom now. After my shower, I had to run, chilly and towel-clad, to the other end of the house, to where we had the scale in the kitchen pantry. (Because that's when I weigh myself, and because now we don't have room to have the scale in the bathroom like we used to.) Also, found that unlike the apartment, you can run out of hot water at the house.
Dressed, sort of, boots on (so tired of the boots), and out the door, and Una and I are off to work. Which took forever, and was cold. And the train was late, undoubtedly because of the cold, so we were late.
And during all this, I'm coughing, my sinuses are bothering me - I'm sick - plus I'm still achey from the move, especially my back. Apparently I'm now able to use the phrase "I threw out my back" (or at least, I am using it, whether correctly or not), so I'm officially old.
I had a very cranky morning. On the inside. I feel like I managed to be much less cranky on the outside than I was on the inside. The phrase "honeymoon's over" came to my mind, but I resisted it. Hard.
Everything that was going wrong was, basically, in two categories: one, I am so freakin' flippin' tired of this winter. This winter, in particular. And two, this house isn't perfect. It's especially not perfect, maybe, in winter.
So, I had to shovel. I have to shovel now, and mow. And we have some issues to work out with heating the house. (Or, specifically, we've decided, the living room. Well, and the basement, of course, but that's another story.) And the bathroom is, regrettably, teeny. And singular.
Oh, third category: I'm still having trouble finding clothes to wear, and where I have things I want to bring, or eat, or whatever - we don't know where anything is yet, but that's not the house's fault, that's just part of moving. We'll figure that out.
But, but, but. I think of Una and Miss Buttons having a wonderful day there yesterday, while I was at work. Not jealously, not angrily, but just reminding myself of what's possible. It was warm and full of light, and they made cookies and listened to music and put things places and colored on the kitchen table. I will have that soon, and it's not the house's fault I wasn't home until it was dark and cold. (It's the job's fault, and me and the job are going to have WORDS. Stupid Mr. Job and his friend Mr. Commute.)
You know how some people can go on vacation and complain that it rained every day, and other people can remember that there were a few rainy minutes every midafternoon, but it was otherwise bright and beautiful and they had many adventures? And how those people were on the SAME vacation? I am frequently both those people.
So now, with just a bit of perspective, let me think back again ... and let me describe last night and this morning another way, which is just as accurate ...
I parked in my GARAGE, and went into the house, where the brightly-lit kitchen smelled like pork chops and oatmeal scotchies, and my daughter seemed thrilled to see me and jumped into my arms. We had a great dinner together at our kitchen table, our clean kitchen table, and Una showed me what she'd done today, where she'd put things, the progress made in the bedroom, where she wanted to honor my grandpa's chess men on the wall... We also looked at our new furniture configuration in the living room, figuring out that we may be covering up a heating vent with a bookcase - so we'll have to see what we can do about that, and hope that helps the chill.
Wrapped in blankets, then, her on the couch and me on the comfiest chair ever, right next to my beloved fireplace (even when not lit, it makes me happy), we watched Scrubs - which is STILL FUNNY, I was pleased to see, having been away from it for a long time. Miss Buttons curled up on top of me for a long time there, so long she fell asleep. Once Una fell asleep too, I turned off the TV, picked up a favorite book I was in the middle of, and finished it - still cuddled with a sleeping child in a comfy chair.
After a brief attempt to play a videogame in the cold basement, I got us all to bed - and in the middle of the night, MB wandered in and joined us, going back to sleep between us. She was still there when I got up to shovel, and still there when I got out of the nice, long hot shower, feeling awake and human.
And then Mom and Una found me a long-lost extra-warm glove, that had resurfaced in the unpacking. I'd thought I'd lost it a good month ago, and was about to toss its mate. Instead, I got the car out of the garage withouth having to brush or scrape anything, and walked to work with warmer hands than I've had in a month.
I am still really tired of winter. Really, really tired of being cold. But that's not the house's fault. I realize I'm still very glad to go home to the Covet House. (Even happier once it's warm - after all, the house will last longer than the winter will.)
Honeymoon's still on.