Says as much about my mother as anything else, of course ...
When I was still living at home - a pre-teen or teenager - I remember reading a Reader's Digest anecdote that I wanted to share with my mom. It simply concerned a man with a day off who thought he'd surprise his wife by cleaning the house. He picked up, he vacuumed, he washed the dishes ... and then when she got home from work, she went about her business of putting down her purse, hanging up her coat, talking about her day, etc. She never mentioned all the work that had obviously been done.
Finally he couldn't stand it any longer, and he pointed out all he'd done that day, and expressed how he felt about all that work being ignored. And she said, "Now you know how I feel."
I read this to my mother. Her reaction was: "That woman is DUMB. Now it'll never happen again."
She said with a husband, or with a child, you have to praise the heck out of the littlest things, in the hopes that they'll do them again.
For some reason, that story - and Mom's reaction to the story - has stuck with me. I especially think of it when I'm cleaning the house or washing the dishes, and watching the clock because my wife will be home soon. Not that this happens that often, but - when it does, I remember.
I also notice that my wife is always careful to say a lot of thank-yous.
If my mother meant me to take anything from her remarks - and I'm not sure she did - then she probably wanted me to think of that story not when *I* clean the house, but when Una does. And I do. I try to notice those times as well. Loudly. :)
Finally he couldn't stand it any longer, and he pointed out all he'd done that day, and expressed how he felt about all that work being ignored. And she said, "Now you know how I feel."
I read this to my mother. Her reaction was: "That woman is DUMB. Now it'll never happen again."
She said with a husband, or with a child, you have to praise the heck out of the littlest things, in the hopes that they'll do them again.
For some reason, that story - and Mom's reaction to the story - has stuck with me. I especially think of it when I'm cleaning the house or washing the dishes, and watching the clock because my wife will be home soon. Not that this happens that often, but - when it does, I remember.
I also notice that my wife is always careful to say a lot of thank-yous.
If my mother meant me to take anything from her remarks - and I'm not sure she did - then she probably wanted me to think of that story not when *I* clean the house, but when Una does. And I do. I try to notice those times as well. Loudly. :)