(no subject)
Three years ago, we dragged a live tree into our house, decorated it, and sat in front of it with our 2-week-old daughter for our Christmas photo "and baby makes three" card. Una and I had our traditions for Christmas up until then, the usual amalgam of what we'd each grown up with, what we each wanted to do, and the families we had to go spend time with. For instance, I grew up with a live tree in the house every year, and continued that through all my single years, even while living in apartments where I really wasn't supposed to have one. My home will have a fake tree over my dead body. Fortunately, Una was cool with that.
(The live tree, not the dead body.)
Three years ago, some of the patterns changed - we were a family, not a couple - but not that much. I don't remember anything anyway.
We didn't know it, but that was our last Christmas at that house. The following spring we moved in with the folks, and the next two years were shared holidays, shared Christmases, shared everything, of course. Shared childcare. Shared traditions.
Two years ago, Mom put up a tree for us in addition to the tree for them, which we were able to decorate with all our stuff. It made us feel at home. But it was a borrowing.
Last year, the offer was made again, but it was even more "not our house," and so it didn't feel like it mattered if we didn't have a real tree, didn't have a tree at all. Left our ornaments packed up. We were by that time deep in plans to find a place of our own.
This Christmas, we have had an apartment of our own for most of a year. Miss Buttons - who may need a new nickname one of these days, as she leaves babyhood and even toddlerness farther behind - has a distinct personality of her own, made up of little trials and little gifts, like any kid her age. Things she's experienced before, she is experiencing new - at this age of greater cognizance. My other daughter is able to visit us at our own home more readily than ever before, and is going to spend the night this weekend. And Una and I have already found ourselves unexpectedly clashing on how some of those holiday traditions are changing from where they used to be. Expectations have adjusted from three years ago, it seems, and from seven years ago, and from last year, and from our childhood - so, we crashed into each other's expectations a little and found ways to adjust again.
This holiday season will be a little different from any before.
And tonight, Una and I will go and get our Christmas tree. With a 3-year-old, who I think will love the whole process. And take it back to our very own, new apartment, for the first time.
I'm excited.
(The live tree, not the dead body.)
Three years ago, some of the patterns changed - we were a family, not a couple - but not that much. I don't remember anything anyway.
We didn't know it, but that was our last Christmas at that house. The following spring we moved in with the folks, and the next two years were shared holidays, shared Christmases, shared everything, of course. Shared childcare. Shared traditions.
Two years ago, Mom put up a tree for us in addition to the tree for them, which we were able to decorate with all our stuff. It made us feel at home. But it was a borrowing.
Last year, the offer was made again, but it was even more "not our house," and so it didn't feel like it mattered if we didn't have a real tree, didn't have a tree at all. Left our ornaments packed up. We were by that time deep in plans to find a place of our own.
This Christmas, we have had an apartment of our own for most of a year. Miss Buttons - who may need a new nickname one of these days, as she leaves babyhood and even toddlerness farther behind - has a distinct personality of her own, made up of little trials and little gifts, like any kid her age. Things she's experienced before, she is experiencing new - at this age of greater cognizance. My other daughter is able to visit us at our own home more readily than ever before, and is going to spend the night this weekend. And Una and I have already found ourselves unexpectedly clashing on how some of those holiday traditions are changing from where they used to be. Expectations have adjusted from three years ago, it seems, and from seven years ago, and from last year, and from our childhood - so, we crashed into each other's expectations a little and found ways to adjust again.
This holiday season will be a little different from any before.
And tonight, Una and I will go and get our Christmas tree. With a 3-year-old, who I think will love the whole process. And take it back to our very own, new apartment, for the first time.
I'm excited.